Because I always get high at Wal-Mart (Yes...another Wal Mart rant)

Andrew and I went to Walmart yesterday to pick up some scrapbooking embellishments for him to decorate his writing book for school. I didn't grab my purse before we left because Ross gave me money and I just shoved it in my pocket. (Wal Mart is only 5 minutes from my house and I didn't think I would need my purse for anything.)

Anyway, after deciding on doing an island luau theme and picking everything up, we headed to the check out counter. I needed to get home and get dinner over with so I could make it to the school for the 2nd grade information night for Rand.

Anyway, she runs through the papers, embellishements, etc.....and then she scans the glue sticks. Before putting them in the bag, she says, "Can I please see your ID?"
I'm like, "Huh? What are you talking about?" I was sure I hadn't put any booze or cigarettes in my cart *wink*, so what did she need ID for? She says, "I need to make sure that you are over 18." Ummmm.....I'm standing there with my three kids (the oldest being 10), all of whom have referred to me as mom a million times and I look at her gobsmacked. "Do I not look 18 to you, and you still haven't told me what you need my ID for?" She proceeds to tell me that Walmart is not allowed to sell glue to minors because kids are using as a drug and getting high off sniffing it.

What is this world coming to when you have to monitor who is buying glue sticks and cough syrup?!? Seriously.

Have I mentioned my dislike for Wal Mart???

Here's what the finished page looked like!

First Day Of School 2007

Wow! So, for the first time in 10 years, I spent 6 consecutive hours child free. I thought I would enjoy it a lot more, but I wound up not knowing what to do with myself and feeling a little useless.

Yes, the kids are back in school. Even Ryker is in preschool this year. And, if that doesn't tug at my heartstrings enough, I also realized that I am old enough to have a child entering 5th grade. WHEN THE HECK DID THAT HAPPEN?!? Andrew isn't old enough for 5th grade! He can't be! I think I'm going to attempt to stay in the same denial I was in about turning 30.......of course, that really didn't do me any good.

So here I sit in a bittersweet moment between bliss and dispair wondering how I'm going to handle my daytime hours without being "mom". I am trying to have a positive attitude about it. Perhaps this will be a good time for me to pick up my hobbies that I've let go to the wayside. I've got boxes of photos that I haven't had time to scrapbook. There are a zillion and one courses I want to take online, and at the local college and I guess I could try to do a bit more physical activity and finally get rid of these extra pounds that I still maintain are just "leftover baby fat". (I have a love hate relationship with my thyroid that is probably a blog unto itself.....but I digress).

So, I guess this will be the year of improving "ME". It's time to turn over a new leaf with regards to various aspects in my life, and this new chapter of being daytime kid free is as good a time as any to get to it.

Click to play Make your own Smilebox

Sex, Walmart and Videotape (well, not videotape......or sex)

Why does WalMart only exist to drive me insane? That question has become pretty much a staple of any visit to their supercenter. Along with me saying after every visit how much I hate Walmart and will never shop there again.

It's not just the throngs of zombiefied shoppers banging into me with their carts and standing dazed in the middle of the aisle so that I can't pass while they spend ten minutes staring at the spaghetti sauce and doing the maybe-this-one dance.

(The one where they stand there tapping their foot and then finally reach out for a jar... think better of it and draw their arm back.. tap for a little longer.. reach out again.. change their mind and chew on their finger nail. Tap.. twist and reach.. tap twist and reach.. tap.. tap.. tap... until you just want to ram them with your cart and knock them over for being so damn indecicive about something as idiotic as Traditional Ragu vs Traditional Prego.)

No, what really drives me batty are the lines.

Long lines stretched all the way back past the magazines and candy to the cardboard displays of whatever Chicken Soup For The Soul type book is currently making the rounds by appealing to the depressed and downtrodden.

(My hatered for all things Chicken Soup related is a blog unto itself. They took a corny idea and brought it from sappy to almost painfully embarrassing. I mean.. how many of these things are they going to come out with?? And how many sub-sections of society are they going to specifically target? Chicken Soup For The Teenager's Soul, Chicken Soup for the Cheerleader's Soul, Chicken Soup For The Person Born On A Tuesday's Soul, Chicken Soup For Albert L. Preston of 200 Wallaby Ln.'s Soul....)

And it never fails that there are always only two or three registers lit up.. and at least one of them is having some sort of pricing issue that requires an annoyed looking cashier to repeatedly get on their little phone and request help while their patience stretches thinner and thinner. "Price Check Assistance at Register 2, please.. .. Price check assistance at register 2.......assistance at register 2...... register 2.... Jacob, come give me a hand at register 2... JACOB!!!!"

And I just don't understand why there will be employees everywhere, but no cashiers. I see people in their Walmart uniform all over... stocking, talking, standing at that little stupid desk thing they always have set up to try and push you into applying for a WalMart card by playing up the junk they have arranged on the table to "tempt" you... but no one that can work a register.

( The card nazis are another pet peeve. "Do you have a WalMart card? If you apply today you get a free gift.".... "Free gift? What free gift?".... "This handy dandy WalMart logo umbrella featuring sturdy plastic wood-grain look handle and the ability to transform from the closed to open position with ease!"... "No thank you."... "But it's an umbrella.. a free umbrella featuring the Happy Face Walmart logo! You're just going to walk away? How can you walk away?? Come back! It could rain! IT COULD RAIN!!!")

But what I really don't understand is this... if you never plan on having more than three or four open lanes... then why in the hell build 35? That just seems like poor planning to me.

It's like they were a little over-confident on the size of the demand in comparison to the actual coverage they'd require.

In the spirit of constructive criticism, I'd like to offer WalMart some advice:

1. Know your patrons.. remember to stock up on the tried and true, but always keep a supply of the unexpected on hand. If I finish shopping without ever pausing to say "Oh, my Gosh! What is THAT??".. then you're just not putting enough effort into satisfying your customers.

2. Size does matter, but whether you're a shopette or a supercenter... at least know how to move your product.

3. You aren't the only game in town. If you can't provide proper supply for the demand I'll be forced to take my business elsewhere.. repeatedly.

Oh well.. have to run..

Yes.. I'm going grocery shopping. At Walmart.

And yes, I'm aware of how lame that makes me, ROFL

What will they remember?

I love looking in stores that sell a lot of inspirational "stuff". Signs, pictures, cards, etc. I see things such as:

*It's not the number of breaths in life that count, it's the number of moments that take your breath away

*Home is where our story begins

*Home is where you hang your hat

*Live like there is no tomorrow

*Dance like no one is watching

*etc, etc.....

And today I was pondering all of it. What is most important? What do I want my kids to be left with when I am gone? Will they care how many toys I have bought them? I doubt it. I want my kids to be left with memories of me. I want them to know that they were, without a doubt, loved beyond measure. I want them to remember how hard I tried to make our house a home. I want them to recall the laughter, the tears, the hugs, and that mom was there with open arms whenever she was needed.....and sometimes when they thought she wasn't. I want them to remember that mom taught them about the Gospel, that mom showed them how to love, how to be kind and that Heavenly Father is first in all we do. I can't put into words how much it would mean to me for my kids to recall their childhood, and remember these kinds of moments. And I know that as they grow, I will remember the moments, not the messes that I fret about now. God has given me such incredible blessings in these kids of mine.

So remember: Stop your chores and show your kids the rainbow. The chores will wait for the rainbow to be gone, but the rainbow will not wait for the chores to be gone.