We were at Walmart the other day, buying a few groceries. This is usually a very stressful event for me, since I am completely anal about the bagging of my own groceries. Nobody can do as well as I can, and therefore, the pressure is completely on me to finagle all of our new possessions perfectly, so we end up with the least amount of bags wasted and the least amount of trips back and forth from the car. It is an art, and I don’t like anyone messing with my canvas.
The girl there must have been new, since she was slow and seemed hesitant about everything she was doing. Nor did she make an attempt to throw the meats into their own separate bag, as most of them try to do. For this, I was grateful. She already won brownie points with me, which more than made up for her lack of speed. At first I didn’t even notice that she had stopped ringing us up. I was too busy intently staring at the block cheese that hadn’t gone through her hands yet. I was just waiting for it to slide down that black conveyor belt into my reach. The current bag I had in front of me was almost filled, except for a small sliver of room along the side. That cheese would fit perfectly right there. I wanted that cheese. I wasn’t taking my eyes off that cheese. After a minute, I noticed that the cheese, along with everything else, just stopped coming my way. I peeled my eyes off the cheese long enough to see her standing there, holding up a zucchini, waiting to get my attention.
“Can you tell me what this is?” she asked me sheepishly.
(Blink, blink)
“It’s a zucchini…”
She gave me a grateful smile and proceeded to look it up, then punch in the code. She gently placed it down on the belt, so the zucchini could take its magic carpet ride right into my hands.
Still eyeing the cheese, I grabbed a plastic bag. Naturally, produce gets its own bag. They all get along nicely in one plastic bag. Except for potatoes. Due to the fact that they are packaged in mass bulk, they deserve their own carrying case, lest they crush and pummel the more delicate fruits and veggies. I put the zucchini into the bag.
With my produce bag all set to go, I still have not gotten my cheese. So, I look up. Now, she is holding up the cauliflower.
“Cauliflower.” I say. She nods and punches in the code, dropping it onto the belt. Then the next item. She holds it up to me.
“Butternut squash,” I tell her.
I absentmindedly stuff the cauliflower into my produce bag. Now, I am intrigued.
“Say,” I ask her, “can you tell me if there will be a sale on canned tomatoes anytime soon?” (it was the only thing I could think of on the fly)
“Um,” she says, “I am not sure, but I can ask someone if you like?”
“Oh, no no. That’s OK, just wondering. Don’t trouble yourself.”
My question was answered. She had no accent. This girl was not a foreigner. My mind was starting to churn. Either her parents were foreigners, which would explain why she did not know the English names of such common produce items. Or, whoever is feeding this poor girl is mighty secretive about their recipes. I could not think of any other reason why someone at her age could not recognize such normal, everyday vegetables.
In complete shock, I continued to rattle off the names as she held each item up. Yellow squash. Asparagus. Kiwi.
Are you kidding me?
Is she pulling my leg? If not, my heart is breaking. What in God’s name could she be eating everyday? I can forgive the butternut squash ‘cause it’s such a beast to prepare. For as much as I like it, I will only buy it on the rare occasion. But, asparagus? Kiwi? Freakin' zucchini? Pfft!
FINALLY, here comes my cheese. I shove it in its coveted spot. But, really, by this point I am almost in a daze. I couldn’t stop thinking about this fragile creature who (God forbid) could be living off McDonald’s and KFC for all I know. That night, after we finished eating our dinner, I was putting the leftovers away. But, I hesitated. Oh, how I so wanted to bring that Tupperware container to Walmart and feed that poor girl.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Yada Yada Yada
The other day my friend was recanting a crazy thing that happened to him. After he told the story, he said, “It was like a scene out of Seinfeld”. Isn’t that the truth? Whenever anyone has some kind of wacky mishap, off the wall interaction or a stupid conversation about nothing, it always reminds us of “Seinfeld”. I am sure everyone has at least one Seinfeldesque thing that has happened to them. I’m going to share with you one of mine.
This took place at Blockbuster Video, standing in line waiting to pay. Right after this happened, all I could think of was how this could have been a scene right out of Seinfeld.
(Names have been changed to protect the innocent)
Elaine: It’s your turn to pay. Here’s two bucks for my candy and soda.
Elaine pulls a few dollar bills from her wallet and hands Jerry the money. A dime falls out, she bends down and picks it up.
Jerry: I can’t believe you just did that.
Elaine: Did what?
Jerry: Bent over and picked up that dime up!
Elaine: What? What are you talking about?
Jerry: It’s a dime. Why would you bother picking up a stupid dime?
Elaine: Um, gee, maybe because I dropped it!
Jerry: Still. It’s not worth the energy you exerted, it’s just a dime. That doesn’t even get you a phone call anymore.
Elaine: Are you kidding me? You wouldn’t bend over and pick up a dime that you dropped? It’s not like I just saw it there. I DROPPED IT! It would be practically littering to leave it there anyway. Geesh!
Jerry: I would have left it there. It’s not worth it for me to go through the trouble. I don’t need a dime that badly.
Elaine: Don’t compare your being too lazy to SIMPLY BEND OVER with me being desperate or needy or something!
Jerry: It’s not laziness. I might have bent over to pick up a quarter, definitely a dollar. But, a dime? That’s the same as picking up a penny these days. Worse! At least a penny on heads might bring you luck.
Elaine gives me a look of disbelief.
Jerry: If you believe that sort of thing.
There are soft chuckles going on around them, as other people in the line are obviously eavesdropping.
Elaine: You’re nuts, you know that? So what if it’s just a dime? We’re standing here doing noth-ing, we have all the time in the world. Now, I can see letting it go if I was running for a train. I mean, I wouldn’t miss my train to stop and pick up a dime, even if I dropped it. Or, say, if it rolled ten feet away, then I wouldn’t go chasing after it into traffic. But. We. Are. Just. Standing. here.
Long pause, they both walk forward as the line moves up.
Jerry: You’re just cheap.
Elaine: I’M NOT CHEAP! IT’S MY DIME!
More chuckles. Another long pause.
Elaine: Besides, a dime is worth something. Even today. Maybe not a phone call, sure. But, you can buy a chocolate covered cherry at Wawa with a dime. I am always buying chocolate covered cheeries. I love them! They are surely worth bending over for, let me tell you. Not to mention how many times a dime can save you from breaking a whole dollar. You betcha a dime is worth it!
Elaine: (mumbling) Lazy ass.
By now, they are at the counter being rung up. Elaine is tossing her precious dime up in the air and catching it over and over again while she rambles on, getting more and more agited. All around them, customers are shaking their heads in disbelief with slight smirks on their faces.
Just then the cashier starts busting out laughing.
Cashier: You’re total is fourteen dollars. And ten cents.
Elaine snatches the dime out of the air and holds it tight to her chest. Jerry just looks at her.
Jerry: Give me that dime. Please!
Elaine: Oh, you most certainly can have it…
She drops the dime.
He bends over and picks it up.
This took place at Blockbuster Video, standing in line waiting to pay. Right after this happened, all I could think of was how this could have been a scene right out of Seinfeld.
(Names have been changed to protect the innocent)
Elaine: It’s your turn to pay. Here’s two bucks for my candy and soda.
Elaine pulls a few dollar bills from her wallet and hands Jerry the money. A dime falls out, she bends down and picks it up.
Jerry: I can’t believe you just did that.
Elaine: Did what?
Jerry: Bent over and picked up that dime up!
Elaine: What? What are you talking about?
Jerry: It’s a dime. Why would you bother picking up a stupid dime?
Elaine: Um, gee, maybe because I dropped it!
Jerry: Still. It’s not worth the energy you exerted, it’s just a dime. That doesn’t even get you a phone call anymore.
Elaine: Are you kidding me? You wouldn’t bend over and pick up a dime that you dropped? It’s not like I just saw it there. I DROPPED IT! It would be practically littering to leave it there anyway. Geesh!
Jerry: I would have left it there. It’s not worth it for me to go through the trouble. I don’t need a dime that badly.
Elaine: Don’t compare your being too lazy to SIMPLY BEND OVER with me being desperate or needy or something!
Jerry: It’s not laziness. I might have bent over to pick up a quarter, definitely a dollar. But, a dime? That’s the same as picking up a penny these days. Worse! At least a penny on heads might bring you luck.
Elaine gives me a look of disbelief.
Jerry: If you believe that sort of thing.
There are soft chuckles going on around them, as other people in the line are obviously eavesdropping.
Elaine: You’re nuts, you know that? So what if it’s just a dime? We’re standing here doing noth-ing, we have all the time in the world. Now, I can see letting it go if I was running for a train. I mean, I wouldn’t miss my train to stop and pick up a dime, even if I dropped it. Or, say, if it rolled ten feet away, then I wouldn’t go chasing after it into traffic. But. We. Are. Just. Standing. here.
Long pause, they both walk forward as the line moves up.
Jerry: You’re just cheap.
Elaine: I’M NOT CHEAP! IT’S MY DIME!
More chuckles. Another long pause.
Elaine: Besides, a dime is worth something. Even today. Maybe not a phone call, sure. But, you can buy a chocolate covered cherry at Wawa with a dime. I am always buying chocolate covered cheeries. I love them! They are surely worth bending over for, let me tell you. Not to mention how many times a dime can save you from breaking a whole dollar. You betcha a dime is worth it!
Elaine: (mumbling) Lazy ass.
By now, they are at the counter being rung up. Elaine is tossing her precious dime up in the air and catching it over and over again while she rambles on, getting more and more agited. All around them, customers are shaking their heads in disbelief with slight smirks on their faces.
Just then the cashier starts busting out laughing.
Cashier: You’re total is fourteen dollars. And ten cents.
Elaine snatches the dime out of the air and holds it tight to her chest. Jerry just looks at her.
Jerry: Give me that dime. Please!
Elaine: Oh, you most certainly can have it…
She drops the dime.
He bends over and picks it up.
Friday, September 12, 2008
The Tragedy of 9/11
Evolving from its original literary usage, the word tragedy discribes a great misfortune worthy of pity and mourning. However, the misfortune is often a result of some inner character flaw, a mistake based on ignorance, an opposition of moral dilemmas, etc. As a result, what took place could have been avoided, but the realization and wisdom needed often comes too late. Today, the word tragedy is highly overused to describe merely sad and unfortunate events, which in itself is unfortunate since it begins to desensitize us to the full impact of the word in instances when it is appropriate to use it, such as 9/11. While death, especially when unexpected is sad, it is not tragic. While destruction, especially at the hands of another is maddening, it too is not tragic. While distress, especially due to preventable circumstances is unfortunate, again it is not tragic. But, hate overcoming love, intolerance overcoming acceptance, suspicion overcoming trust, and fear overcoming faith is indeed tragic. When these things are allowed to happen, they mar the essence of humanity, they taint the nature of civilization and as a result, the human race suffers as a whole. Not only at the time they occur, but for all of humanity and for the future of all civilization.
Many people choose to focus on the heroic and selfless deeds that strangers did for each in the midst of the horror that day. While I too feel inspired and touched by the great lengths others went to and the ultimate sacrifices they were willing to make, I do not feel, however, that it takes a manmade catastrophe to remind me of these amazing qualities that live within the human spirit. Sadly, there have been, and will continue to be, enough natural and accidental disasters that bring out the best in myself as well as my fellow man. However, before 9/11, I never knew what or who Al Qaeda was, and now I find I hate people I never met. I find I am intolerant of a religion that promotes dissent. I find I am hesitant to travel and discover other cultures. I find I am mistrustful of strangers just because of their dress or nationality. And, unlike Ann Frank, in spite of all the courage and heroism I saw, I find that I am doubtful that people are truly good at heart. I know I am not alone. I know I am one of the many people from recent generations that have had the luxury of being born after the Holocost, after two world wars, after Pearl Harbor. I know I am not the only person who lost some of their innocence that day, who’s human essence has been permanently scarred.
Yes, many people died that day, many businesses were crippled, and many governments were shaken to the core. Our remembrance of 9/11 is significant because it gives us the opportunity to reach out and let others know we will never forget or stop mourning the personal pain we all felt, nor will we stop revering the numerous heroic and selfless acts we witnessed. But, the tragedy of that day is not something we have to remember because it is here, it is happening now, with every moment we live. Those senseless and cruel events had a profound and pervasive affect on all of us. The ramifications of which will continue to be widespread and felt by everyone, everywhere.
Whenever I remember what happened this day seven years ago, I am truly saddened by those individuals who experienced significant misfortune and loss. But, whenever I think about what happened, my heart breaks for me, my child, my family and the human race.
Many people choose to focus on the heroic and selfless deeds that strangers did for each in the midst of the horror that day. While I too feel inspired and touched by the great lengths others went to and the ultimate sacrifices they were willing to make, I do not feel, however, that it takes a manmade catastrophe to remind me of these amazing qualities that live within the human spirit. Sadly, there have been, and will continue to be, enough natural and accidental disasters that bring out the best in myself as well as my fellow man. However, before 9/11, I never knew what or who Al Qaeda was, and now I find I hate people I never met. I find I am intolerant of a religion that promotes dissent. I find I am hesitant to travel and discover other cultures. I find I am mistrustful of strangers just because of their dress or nationality. And, unlike Ann Frank, in spite of all the courage and heroism I saw, I find that I am doubtful that people are truly good at heart. I know I am not alone. I know I am one of the many people from recent generations that have had the luxury of being born after the Holocost, after two world wars, after Pearl Harbor. I know I am not the only person who lost some of their innocence that day, who’s human essence has been permanently scarred.
Yes, many people died that day, many businesses were crippled, and many governments were shaken to the core. Our remembrance of 9/11 is significant because it gives us the opportunity to reach out and let others know we will never forget or stop mourning the personal pain we all felt, nor will we stop revering the numerous heroic and selfless acts we witnessed. But, the tragedy of that day is not something we have to remember because it is here, it is happening now, with every moment we live. Those senseless and cruel events had a profound and pervasive affect on all of us. The ramifications of which will continue to be widespread and felt by everyone, everywhere.
Whenever I remember what happened this day seven years ago, I am truly saddened by those individuals who experienced significant misfortune and loss. But, whenever I think about what happened, my heart breaks for me, my child, my family and the human race.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Thursday Thirteen
Thirteen Things I've Been Wondering Lately...
1. I wonder how clams reproduce.
2. I wonder if I will live long enough to see humans be able to teleport (thanks Star Trek)
3. I wonder why disgusted is a word, but gusted isn't.
4. I wonder if the other personalities living inside me are secretly plotting to kill me off.
5. Then I wonder why no one has every attempted to assassinate Barney.
6. And then I wonder what Chuck Norris thinks of all the "jokes" made in his honor.
7. I wonder what life is like on Pluto now.
8. I wonder why I didn't get the eat-all-the-chocolate-you-want-and-never-get-fat gene.
9. I wonder if Marx's tomb is considered a communist plot.
10. I wonder why the plural of goose is geese.....but the plural of moose is not meese
11. I wonder if Helen Keller can recall memories from before she learned a language.
12. I wonder if there is another word for synonym.
13. I wonder if anyone reads this blog.
1. I wonder how clams reproduce.
2. I wonder if I will live long enough to see humans be able to teleport (thanks Star Trek)
3. I wonder why disgusted is a word, but gusted isn't.
4. I wonder if the other personalities living inside me are secretly plotting to kill me off.
5. Then I wonder why no one has every attempted to assassinate Barney.
6. And then I wonder what Chuck Norris thinks of all the "jokes" made in his honor.
7. I wonder what life is like on Pluto now.
8. I wonder why I didn't get the eat-all-the-chocolate-you-want-and-never-get-fat gene.
9. I wonder if Marx's tomb is considered a communist plot.
10. I wonder why the plural of goose is geese.....but the plural of moose is not meese
11. I wonder if Helen Keller can recall memories from before she learned a language.
12. I wonder if there is another word for synonym.
13. I wonder if anyone reads this blog.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
What I like about you
My friend Allie had a great idea on her blog to write a list of one thing you love about each person in your family....yourself included. So, following her example, here I go
Ross: My wonderful husband - I love how he never tells me "no" when I ask him for something. Whether it's a listening ear, a warm hug, a material object, or help with the boys.....he never says "no", and I really appreciate feeling like an equal.
Me: I love that I am realizing my own true self and am embracing the talents that I have been blessed with
Andrew: He is the most tenderhearted and compassionate boy, the kind of kid who would be willing to give you the shirt off his back, even if was the only one he owned.
Randall: I love his strong will. He is not the type that easily bends to peer pressure or follows the norms just because others think he should. He has his own mind and it is amazing
Ryker: He is the most chronically happy child I know. The kid is always happy and smiling. He literally wakes up with a smile on his face before his eyes are open. It's awesome.
OK, I've been mushy enough. Anyone who reads this blog, I encourage you to do this.
Ross: My wonderful husband - I love how he never tells me "no" when I ask him for something. Whether it's a listening ear, a warm hug, a material object, or help with the boys.....he never says "no", and I really appreciate feeling like an equal.
Me: I love that I am realizing my own true self and am embracing the talents that I have been blessed with
Andrew: He is the most tenderhearted and compassionate boy, the kind of kid who would be willing to give you the shirt off his back, even if was the only one he owned.
Randall: I love his strong will. He is not the type that easily bends to peer pressure or follows the norms just because others think he should. He has his own mind and it is amazing
Ryker: He is the most chronically happy child I know. The kid is always happy and smiling. He literally wakes up with a smile on his face before his eyes are open. It's awesome.
OK, I've been mushy enough. Anyone who reads this blog, I encourage you to do this.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Does Size Really Matter?
I am a bag lady. I don't mean to be. But, if you have kids, or maybe even if you don't, you've surely noticed the truth to my 'stuff accommodation theory'. It goes something like this. The larger the bag you are carrying, the more stuff (or crap as I like to call it) you will naturally somehow acquire to fill said bag.
For example, you are carrying a tiny little clutch containing only your wallet, keys, and phone. Immediately you will discover that you need a tissue (or 8). You've undoubtedly carried a box of tissues with you every day for the past 2 months and never even opened it. Yet today, day one without tissues, you find yourself with a runny nose, and not a tissue in sight.The tissues are a spring board to all of the other things you will learn that you need to carry in the next few days. You'll soon move to a slightly bigger bag to accommodate those few new 'necessities'. But inevitably, the new small'ish' bag will become overrun with receipts, paper scraps, and yes, admit it, even some trash!
And so, we move on and graduate to a larger bag. Oh, we vow to keep it clean and neat. We promise to keep the stuff to a minimum. Does it work? Of course not. Before you know it, you are carrying what can only be described as a small duffle bag, and wondering why you can't seem to find anything EVER!? For some, like me, this is how it all starts....My youngest was finally to the point where I don't fee like I need to carry a huge diaper bag anymore. I could keep a few diapers in the glove compartment of the minivan, and I have a little backpack that is always in the trunk with an emergency change of clothes and some wipes. Surely, I'll never be so far from civilization that anything else I might need, I could not quickly acquire at the local drugstore or Target.
So, I switched to a smaller bag. A tiny bag. I kept my keys, wallet, and phone in it. Not a single other thing would fit. Freedom! So, when I took the baby in to the mall and he pooped, I had to run out to the car that was parked a mile away in winter, to get the stuff to change him. Bah! So, we got home and I switch to a bag that can hold 1 emergency diaper and a thin wipes case. Next time we are out, we venture to a diner. Both baby and preschooler are crying for snacks, crayons, and other things to occupy them while we wait for food. While the waitress does her best to accommodate us, I know all to well that if I had my diaper bag, I'd have snacks, crayons, even those cute little stick-on placemats that double as coloring sheets! We go home and I switch to an even larger bag with all of these 'necessities' in it.
Even now, as my kids are older and are needing less "stuff". I am now carrying what can only be described as a diaper bag (albeit a stylish brown leather one), with my wallet, phone, and keys in it. It's okay though, my time to give up the bag will come- possibly when the kids go to college.
For example, you are carrying a tiny little clutch containing only your wallet, keys, and phone. Immediately you will discover that you need a tissue (or 8). You've undoubtedly carried a box of tissues with you every day for the past 2 months and never even opened it. Yet today, day one without tissues, you find yourself with a runny nose, and not a tissue in sight.The tissues are a spring board to all of the other things you will learn that you need to carry in the next few days. You'll soon move to a slightly bigger bag to accommodate those few new 'necessities'. But inevitably, the new small'ish' bag will become overrun with receipts, paper scraps, and yes, admit it, even some trash!
And so, we move on and graduate to a larger bag. Oh, we vow to keep it clean and neat. We promise to keep the stuff to a minimum. Does it work? Of course not. Before you know it, you are carrying what can only be described as a small duffle bag, and wondering why you can't seem to find anything EVER!? For some, like me, this is how it all starts....My youngest was finally to the point where I don't fee like I need to carry a huge diaper bag anymore. I could keep a few diapers in the glove compartment of the minivan, and I have a little backpack that is always in the trunk with an emergency change of clothes and some wipes. Surely, I'll never be so far from civilization that anything else I might need, I could not quickly acquire at the local drugstore or Target.
So, I switched to a smaller bag. A tiny bag. I kept my keys, wallet, and phone in it. Not a single other thing would fit. Freedom! So, when I took the baby in to the mall and he pooped, I had to run out to the car that was parked a mile away in winter, to get the stuff to change him. Bah! So, we got home and I switch to a bag that can hold 1 emergency diaper and a thin wipes case. Next time we are out, we venture to a diner. Both baby and preschooler are crying for snacks, crayons, and other things to occupy them while we wait for food. While the waitress does her best to accommodate us, I know all to well that if I had my diaper bag, I'd have snacks, crayons, even those cute little stick-on placemats that double as coloring sheets! We go home and I switch to an even larger bag with all of these 'necessities' in it.
Even now, as my kids are older and are needing less "stuff". I am now carrying what can only be described as a diaper bag (albeit a stylish brown leather one), with my wallet, phone, and keys in it. It's okay though, my time to give up the bag will come- possibly when the kids go to college.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
I Love The Lyrics To This Song
OK, I'm not normally a fan of "Christian Rock", but I really like the lyrics to this song:
Natalie Grant - I Will Not Be Moved
From the album Relentless
I have been the wayward child
I have acted out
I have questioned Sovereignty
And had my share of doubt
And though sometimes my prayers feel like
They're bouncing off the sky
The hand I hold won't let me go
And is the reason why...
Chorus:
I will stumbleI will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakesI will face heartache
But I will not be moved
On Christ the Solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
I will not be moved
Bitterness has plagued my heart
Many times before
My life has been like broken glass
And I have kept the score
Of all my shattered dreams and though it seemed
That I was far too gone
My brokenness helped me to see
It's grace I'm standing on
Chorus
And the chaos in my life
Has been a badge I've worn
Though I have been torn
I will not be moved
Chorus
Label: Curb Records
Natalie Grant - I Will Not Be Moved
From the album Relentless
I have been the wayward child
I have acted out
I have questioned Sovereignty
And had my share of doubt
And though sometimes my prayers feel like
They're bouncing off the sky
The hand I hold won't let me go
And is the reason why...
Chorus:
I will stumbleI will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakesI will face heartache
But I will not be moved
On Christ the Solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
I will not be moved
Bitterness has plagued my heart
Many times before
My life has been like broken glass
And I have kept the score
Of all my shattered dreams and though it seemed
That I was far too gone
My brokenness helped me to see
It's grace I'm standing on
Chorus
And the chaos in my life
Has been a badge I've worn
Though I have been torn
I will not be moved
Chorus
Label: Curb Records
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Forever 21
Today is Dagan's 22nd birthday.....a birthday he won't get to celebrate in this earthly plane. A birthday he will instead celebrate...
