So yesterday the hubster and I celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary.....and if you crunch those numbers, you'll realize, that I have spent just a bit over a third of my life with this man. Amazing when you think about it like that.
No I’m not living in a fairly tale. My life is not all roses and champagne. Ross does plenty of things that really get under my skin. But some time ago I realized I married him for some pretty good reasons and I need to learn to pick my battles. Is it really that big of a deal if he leaves the butter sitting out on the counter after dinner? Or that sometimes his laundry doesn't quite make it to the hamper? Is it worth a screaming match? No.
I don’t know about you, but for me I like to be in control of things. Unfortunately, Ross doesn’t like to give up all of that control. Sometimes that leads to an argument. If he would just realize I am always right, things would work out so much better. But since that’s probably not going to happen any time in my lifetime, I’ve decided to take a new approach. We compromise. And instead of constantly nagging about all the things that drive me crazy, I’ve decided to be more conscious of the things I love. Every now and then I like to just do a little reality check and write down all of the reasons I’m in love. So, in no particular order, below are some of the reasons I love my husband:
*He always calls in the delivery orders when we're having pizza or Chinese food For some reason I don’t like to call and order take-out. I don’t know why. I never claimed to be a perfectly normal person. So Ross always does it when he’s home. And if he’s going to go out and he knows I want take out, he orders it before he goes so it’s on its way before he leaves.
*He helps with the grocery shopping. I almost never have to go to the grocery store alone. (Because we all know from my recent other post how much I LOVE grocery shopping alone wit the kids.....not!!)
*He always buys me candy at the store even when I don’t ask for it.
*Even when he’s comfortable, he will get up to get me a bottle of water or glass of juice when my glass is empty.
*When I came home from a month long trip to Canada, he met me at the airport with a dozen roses and took us out for a nice dinner.
*He sends me e-cards to remind me how much he loves me.
*He lets me sleep in every weekend and he gets up with the kids.
*He likes to cuddle in bed. In fact he tells me it’s hard for him to sleep when I’m not there. He likes to touch my leg with his foot or my back with hand. Just a little reminder that I’m still there. Or is it a reminder to me that he’s still there? Either way, it’s very nice.
*He massages my feet or my legs when they cramp up.
There is so much more, but I don't want to bore you all. Ross is not perfect, but he’s all mine. And I consider myself to be pretty lucky to have him. Sometimes with our busy lives, we forget to stop and smell the roses. I know that’s an old cliche, but have you ever actually stopped to smell the roses? And do you remember how beautiful the sun is as it sets? You’re envisioning it now aren’t you? We tend to forget about the beautiful things until somebody actually points them out to us. Well you live 24/7 (for the most part) with your spouse. Nobody knows him (or her, for you gentlemen readers) better then you. So it’s up to you to remind yourself of the good things. Remember why you got married and why you stay married. Remember why you get a big smile on your face and why your heart skips a beat when you see him at the airport after a few days away. Don’t forget to appreciate the little things. And don’t forget to recognize the reasons you love your spouse.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Thursday Thirteen
Okay, here are some ways that you know you have too much time on your hands:
1. You try to blog everyday, and have more than one blog....hmmmmmm. (Guilty....lol)
2. You are able to watch at least one two hour movie a day
3. You are undressed by 12 pm at least four out of 7 days (okay, let's get this straight, I am self employed. I can actually work in my pjs if I want to; stop judging me!!!)
4. You find parachuting, which you have never had an interest in, is an appropriate way to celebrate a birthday.
5, You are one of the people on Jack Ass.
6. You can spend hours comtemplating whether you should get up and exercise now. Only to come to the conclusion, nope, I will just stay right here where I am.
7. You are more than five days in the future on your blogging. (Haha, you can't tell when I posted this).
8. Time and dates are no longer a certainty, because really "what does it matter".
You are enjoying life. (here is a big clue that you have too much time, as opposed to the boredom ones above)
9. You are way too interested in what your neighbors are doing next door (and they are not that interesting).
10. You shop for something on QVC almost every day, and almost as often get packages from QVC (you may not know it, but you probably have too much money too....please send it to givememoney@yahoo.com through paypal)
11. You have time to make Thursday Thirteen lists (hmmmm).
12. You still have time to read a book in a sitting position (sneaking a page or two while on the loo doesn't count
13. You know the names, histories and complete back story of every soap opera character.
1. You try to blog everyday, and have more than one blog....hmmmmmm. (Guilty....lol)
2. You are able to watch at least one two hour movie a day
3. You are undressed by 12 pm at least four out of 7 days (okay, let's get this straight, I am self employed. I can actually work in my pjs if I want to; stop judging me!!!)
4. You find parachuting, which you have never had an interest in, is an appropriate way to celebrate a birthday.
5, You are one of the people on Jack Ass.
6. You can spend hours comtemplating whether you should get up and exercise now. Only to come to the conclusion, nope, I will just stay right here where I am.
7. You are more than five days in the future on your blogging. (Haha, you can't tell when I posted this).
8. Time and dates are no longer a certainty, because really "what does it matter".
You are enjoying life. (here is a big clue that you have too much time, as opposed to the boredom ones above)
9. You are way too interested in what your neighbors are doing next door (and they are not that interesting).
10. You shop for something on QVC almost every day, and almost as often get packages from QVC (you may not know it, but you probably have too much money too....please send it to givememoney@yahoo.com through paypal)
11. You have time to make Thursday Thirteen lists (hmmmm).
12. You still have time to read a book in a sitting position (sneaking a page or two while on the loo doesn't count
13. You know the names, histories and complete back story of every soap opera character.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
An Open Letter To:
I'm tired.
We women are often so eager to please everyone, so convinced that we must be able to juggle everything all at once, always be available to everyone, that maybe admitting to being tired is a really big deal. So, I admit freely that I am tired. Very tired. Too tired to even think up any interesting, funny mommy stuff for you to peruse. This is how I know that I am exhausted. I have an endless supply of source material for your reading pleasure, and yet I can't get my bleary little eyes focused, or my foggy little brain clear enough to post anything for you.
Since I enjoyed that open letter to Senator Palin so much, I thought I'd jot down a few other 'open letters' rolling around in my brain.
Dear Women of America,
Just because a book makes it to Oprah's Book Club list, doesn't mean that it is a great book. Granted, there are some good ones. But, someone mentioning Oprah's Book Club as a "showcaser of the great works of literature" almost made my head explode. Please do me a favor, visit a library. It is a forgotten past time. There they can help you to uncover the true great works of literature.
Love,La Momma
Dear Very, Very Large Women at the Pool,
I so wish I had the guts. I really do. I just don't know how you do it. If I won't even be caught dead after three kids in a two piece bathing suit, how on earth do you find the courage? I mean some of you must have 50, 75, even 100 lbs on me. How is it that you have no problem 'letting it all hang out'? When you get dressed and look in the mirror, does it not look the same to you as it does to the outside world? Seriously. Because I look, see one little roll, one little bit of flab and it's back to the closet I go. Now, I would not dare to discriminate or judge anyone based on their size, but oh.my.gosh. I am sorry but there is something just not right about a women that weighs 300 lbs. walking around in a bikini. Not that their is anything wrong with weighing 300 lbs itself, well aside from potential health factors - but I digress. Some things just don't look good. Some people don't look good with short hair, some people can't pull off bright red lipstick, and people who can't see their feet should not wear bikinis... or spandex now that I think about it. Large women- don't hate me. I'm not saying you shouldn't go to the beach or pool. I am not saying you don't deserve to wear a bathing suit and splash around and have fun, I am thrilled that you are comfortable with your bodies. I am just telling you that the bikini- it just doesn't look good. Sorry.
Love,The Mommy
Dear People who take their kids to restaurants,
Clean your crap up! If your kid throws stuff on the floor- pick it up! The people that work in restaurants are not your maids, they are not your servants. They are there to serve us food. If you're too good to pick it up, hire someone to follow your lazy ass around and pick up after your kids. Mmmmmkay?
Love,The Momster
Dear Child Beauty Pageant Entrants,
Three year olds should not wear lipstick and eyeshadow. That is all.
Love,Mommy Dearest
Don't you worry, I'll think of more. Right now though, I am tired. I have to go and do a million things that I am probably too tired to do, but I agreed to do, because that is what we moms do. Whew! Hey, feel free to suggest your own open letter topics. I just might make this a regular feature.
We women are often so eager to please everyone, so convinced that we must be able to juggle everything all at once, always be available to everyone, that maybe admitting to being tired is a really big deal. So, I admit freely that I am tired. Very tired. Too tired to even think up any interesting, funny mommy stuff for you to peruse. This is how I know that I am exhausted. I have an endless supply of source material for your reading pleasure, and yet I can't get my bleary little eyes focused, or my foggy little brain clear enough to post anything for you.
Since I enjoyed that open letter to Senator Palin so much, I thought I'd jot down a few other 'open letters' rolling around in my brain.
Dear Women of America,
Just because a book makes it to Oprah's Book Club list, doesn't mean that it is a great book. Granted, there are some good ones. But, someone mentioning Oprah's Book Club as a "showcaser of the great works of literature" almost made my head explode. Please do me a favor, visit a library. It is a forgotten past time. There they can help you to uncover the true great works of literature.
Love,La Momma
Dear Very, Very Large Women at the Pool,
I so wish I had the guts. I really do. I just don't know how you do it. If I won't even be caught dead after three kids in a two piece bathing suit, how on earth do you find the courage? I mean some of you must have 50, 75, even 100 lbs on me. How is it that you have no problem 'letting it all hang out'? When you get dressed and look in the mirror, does it not look the same to you as it does to the outside world? Seriously. Because I look, see one little roll, one little bit of flab and it's back to the closet I go. Now, I would not dare to discriminate or judge anyone based on their size, but oh.my.gosh. I am sorry but there is something just not right about a women that weighs 300 lbs. walking around in a bikini. Not that their is anything wrong with weighing 300 lbs itself, well aside from potential health factors - but I digress. Some things just don't look good. Some people don't look good with short hair, some people can't pull off bright red lipstick, and people who can't see their feet should not wear bikinis... or spandex now that I think about it. Large women- don't hate me. I'm not saying you shouldn't go to the beach or pool. I am not saying you don't deserve to wear a bathing suit and splash around and have fun, I am thrilled that you are comfortable with your bodies. I am just telling you that the bikini- it just doesn't look good. Sorry.
Love,The Mommy
Dear People who take their kids to restaurants,
Clean your crap up! If your kid throws stuff on the floor- pick it up! The people that work in restaurants are not your maids, they are not your servants. They are there to serve us food. If you're too good to pick it up, hire someone to follow your lazy ass around and pick up after your kids. Mmmmmkay?
Love,The Momster
Dear Child Beauty Pageant Entrants,
Three year olds should not wear lipstick and eyeshadow. That is all.
Love,Mommy Dearest
Don't you worry, I'll think of more. Right now though, I am tired. I have to go and do a million things that I am probably too tired to do, but I agreed to do, because that is what we moms do. Whew! Hey, feel free to suggest your own open letter topics. I just might make this a regular feature.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Can You Hear Me Now?
Sometimes I feel like my kids see me as more of a friend than an authority figure. Yeah I know, it's like the cardinal rule of parenting. Be their parent not their friend. I try to excuse it by saying that they are so young, they won't even remember half of what transpires between us in these years. Which, really makes me sad. But that is for another blog post altogether.
I guess it stems from the fact that growing up, my mom was my best friend. She was a very young mom, and I had very little discipline. Discipline has never been my strong suit. I hate confrontation. I hate yelling. I hate people not liking me, or being mad at me. Yeah, I know. I am a big pansy. Sometimes I get really frustrated with the lack of respect my kids show me, when I know it's my own fault. I wind up resorting to yelling and ranting in a ridiculous tirade that my kids don't even really understand. It certainly isn't effective discipline on any level.
My husband does a better job with discipline than I do. Hubster is stricter in general than I. He is less likely to let them get away with their shenanigans. He's the one who would first say no to an inappropriate request (no you can not have a DVD player in your room, you're 3). But there are certain things that we both agree are just good, normal parenting ideas. For example, we don't think that kids really need cell phones. I might concede to getting Andrew one of those prepaid or you- can-only-call-so-and-so models, because he's a tween who is out of the house a lot. But really, that is about it. Unless you are old enough to have a job and buy it and pay the bill yourself.
So, Saturday night, I'm at Drew's basketball game when the following conversation happens between Randall and I :
Rand: Mom, Annoying friend #1 has a cell phone.
Me: No honey, he doesn't.
Rand: Mom, he does. He let me see it.
Me: I am sure it was just an old phone that doesn't work anymore.
Rand: Mom, he let me call and talk to annoying friend # 2 on it.
Me: Wait- you really called someone on his phone? It wasn't his mom's phone?
Rand: It was his. He really has one.
Long Pause.
Me: Well, that's just ridiculous.
Rand: Mom, can I get a cell phone?
Me: Hell No!
So, I come to find out that the child actually does have a cell phone. He is seven. Seven. Did I mention he is seven? Seven. Seeeeevvvvvveeeeennnnn. What the hell? I mean, I've admitted the whole we're stricter-than-the-average-2008 parent and all but come on. Seven? Really? Please tell me it's not me. Some of our friends have kids who are in the ballpark age range of ours. Some of them have TV's and DVD players in their room, Wii's, PlaySations, their own phone lines, really expensive clothes, toys, etc. but I have yet to encounter a seven year old with a cell phone. What on earth could he need a cell phone for?
Um, hi Joey, it's me Timmy. Meet me at the playground in 5 minutes okay?
Um, hi Mikey, it's me Timmy. Can you come over and play trucks?
Um, hi Jake, it's me Timmy. I'm going to grow up to be a little spoiled brat that no one can please because my standards are set impossibly high.
Tell me this, and then I'll lay my head down on my pillow and try not to dream of little Timmy and how he will probably grow up to torture my poor, underprivileged kids all through high school. Where do you go from there? You get the kid a cell phone at seven? What's next?
Mommy's to do list:
Petition DMV to lower driving age to 8. Little Timmy wants Ferrari.
Call France. Little Timmy wants to visit, but doesn't like planes. Can you move closer?
Can anyone add to Mommy's to do list? Grrrrr.............
I guess it stems from the fact that growing up, my mom was my best friend. She was a very young mom, and I had very little discipline. Discipline has never been my strong suit. I hate confrontation. I hate yelling. I hate people not liking me, or being mad at me. Yeah, I know. I am a big pansy. Sometimes I get really frustrated with the lack of respect my kids show me, when I know it's my own fault. I wind up resorting to yelling and ranting in a ridiculous tirade that my kids don't even really understand. It certainly isn't effective discipline on any level.
My husband does a better job with discipline than I do. Hubster is stricter in general than I. He is less likely to let them get away with their shenanigans. He's the one who would first say no to an inappropriate request (no you can not have a DVD player in your room, you're 3). But there are certain things that we both agree are just good, normal parenting ideas. For example, we don't think that kids really need cell phones. I might concede to getting Andrew one of those prepaid or you- can-only-call-so-and-so models, because he's a tween who is out of the house a lot. But really, that is about it. Unless you are old enough to have a job and buy it and pay the bill yourself.
So, Saturday night, I'm at Drew's basketball game when the following conversation happens between Randall and I :
Rand: Mom, Annoying friend #1 has a cell phone.
Me: No honey, he doesn't.
Rand: Mom, he does. He let me see it.
Me: I am sure it was just an old phone that doesn't work anymore.
Rand: Mom, he let me call and talk to annoying friend # 2 on it.
Me: Wait- you really called someone on his phone? It wasn't his mom's phone?
Rand: It was his. He really has one.
Long Pause.
Me: Well, that's just ridiculous.
Rand: Mom, can I get a cell phone?
Me: Hell No!
So, I come to find out that the child actually does have a cell phone. He is seven. Seven. Did I mention he is seven? Seven. Seeeeevvvvvveeeeennnnn. What the hell? I mean, I've admitted the whole we're stricter-than-the-average-2008 parent and all but come on. Seven? Really? Please tell me it's not me. Some of our friends have kids who are in the ballpark age range of ours. Some of them have TV's and DVD players in their room, Wii's, PlaySations, their own phone lines, really expensive clothes, toys, etc. but I have yet to encounter a seven year old with a cell phone. What on earth could he need a cell phone for?
Um, hi Joey, it's me Timmy. Meet me at the playground in 5 minutes okay?
Um, hi Mikey, it's me Timmy. Can you come over and play trucks?
Um, hi Jake, it's me Timmy. I'm going to grow up to be a little spoiled brat that no one can please because my standards are set impossibly high.
Tell me this, and then I'll lay my head down on my pillow and try not to dream of little Timmy and how he will probably grow up to torture my poor, underprivileged kids all through high school. Where do you go from there? You get the kid a cell phone at seven? What's next?
Mommy's to do list:
Petition DMV to lower driving age to 8. Little Timmy wants Ferrari.
Call France. Little Timmy wants to visit, but doesn't like planes. Can you move closer?
Can anyone add to Mommy's to do list? Grrrrr.............
Sunday, October 5, 2008
I'm Lovin' It
Ahhh yes, fast food. McDonald's, Burger King, etc. Otherwise known as the downfall of civilization. But, it is so damn easy! Why? Why must you call to me chicken nuggets? Why must you read my mind the way that you do? Just as I am thinking that it is too damn hot to go home and make lunch, you are there, up high on a shiny billboard. Your icy cold beverage and just salty and grease laden enough fries beckoning me from the heavens it would seem.
And I don't even usually eat the stuff. Though I must say that I love the southwest chicken salad. But it isn't the food that makes me do it- usually. Usually it is the convenience. Bad mom. Bad, bad mom.So, the yesterday I did the deed yet again. I stopped for a quick lunch for the kids at the drive thru. Let me just say as an aside here that if a healthy food place with a drive thru would pop up in our area, I would be doubly inclined to spend my "fast food" dollars there as opposed to the more unhealthy spots.
Anyway, back to the drive thru. Or as I like to call it 'the prelude to the cardiologist.' I ordered the food and proceeded to the window. Or as I like to call it 'the gateway to hell.' When I checked my bag I was a little surprised at what I saw. McDonald's. I realize that isn't really a sentence, but I want to illustrate the power of McDonald's. It has the ability to stand on it's own. It is the Madonna or the Cher or the Bono of the fast food world. It is immediately recognizable by it's simple one word brand name. There are McDonald's in every possible corner of the earth. Everyone recognizes the golden arches. You could be walking through the depths of Siberia for 3 days, cold and alone and looking for civilization, when all of a sudden you see a golden arches appear before you. That is how popular and huge and corporate McDonald's is.
So imagine my surprise when I opened up my bag to find a big old hunkin' wad of paper towels jammed on top of my food. Was someone in the middle of windexing the drive thru window, got distracted and accidentally shoved this pile of Bounty into my food bag? No. McDonald's had run out of napkins. Yes, napkins. The largest fast food restaurant on earth... has no napkins. I can't tell you how amusing and yet disturbing I found this all at once. I mean it's not as if I was at Jeb's roadside burger joint. "Oh sorry y'all, Betty Sue forgot to go to the market for more napkins. Here's some paper towels instead." This is McDonald's. Don't they have an entire department whose job it is to make sure they don't run out of stuff like, oh say, napkins!?
I realize that this is a rant. I realize that this post may be a little more 'off the cuff' than what I usually blog about. But I usually think of a topic and then prepare a post about it. This is just something totally random that happened and I can't seem to stop thinking about it. Is it just me? Does anyone else think that this is odd?
I am waiting for some McDonald's person to contact me now for one of two reasons- either to yell at me for indirectly implying that McDonald's consumption leads to heart problems; or to apologize for the lack of napkins and offer me free food. (Which McDonald's reps- I am not above taking)
So McDonald's, it's okay. I forgive you. We're all cool again. I still think that your food is probably a bad idea for my heart, not to mention my ass. But, it is the yummiest and most convenient bad idea I've seen. Plus, my kids love it. Send coupons.
Oh, the original point here? It was to find out not only if anyone thought it was odd that I got a wad of paper towels in my food bag; but to get others to confess to their own fast food weaknesses. You all know that my ulterior motive with every post is to get you all to confess right there with me. French fry fanatic? Burger lovin' blogger? Secret shake indulger? Come on, spill it!
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Kids Gone Wild
I let my kids play with the little sugar packets, jelly cups, creamers, or any other random thing on a restaurant table, to occupy them.
I never used to do this. I used to actually cringe when I would see parents doing it. I'd spew out such pearls of wisdom as "I'm never going to let my kids behave like that in public" and "if that were my child (insert any ridiculous, smug, non parent, comment here)". As a former waitress, I'd picked up more than my fair share of crackers, french fries, and assorted other goodies from underneath tables. I tried to be sympathetic because it's my nature, but inside I always said "not my kid..."
Fast forward to the modern era. The era I like to call PC (post children), though it is anything but. I bring the huge bag with the crayons, and the sticky placemats, and the cheerios, and everything but the kitchen sink, into the eating establishment, to keep them from causing the kind of chaos that can only be had when you go out to eat. But they don't want any of that stuff. That is stuff they can play with any old time. No, they want to play with the forbidden stuff. The tabletop treasures that they can only get at a restaurant.
So, there you are. You are sitting with your children, they are exhibiting what can only be described as model behavior, having flung only half of their food onto the floor. You notice a few stares, perhaps a comment muttered under the breath by an obviously childless person. . If my children are not being loud, annoying, getting up from their seats to run amok, why does it irritate people if I let them spread a few sugar packets out on the table, or build a jelly tower. It's not as if I am not going to clean it all up.
Sometimes I just wish people would mind their own business.So what is your take on taking kids to restaurants? We have a few family friendly in our area which I would happily take the kids to. My husband on the other hand, he would rather forgo dining out altogether until perhaps their high school graduation dinners.
Let's be clear here. I am not talking about taking them to The Four Seasons. I am not talking about letting them run laps around the tables while others are dining. There is simply no excuse for that. Unless of course mommy has one too many margarita's and can no longer be held accountable for the actions of her kids.
But, in a place like Denny's or Joe's Crab Shack, there has to be some expectation that it might be a little noisy, and that yes, there may be kids smooshing crackers on the table. If you don't like it, go somewhere else, somewhere that doesn't cater to families, or better yet stay home.
I never used to do this. I used to actually cringe when I would see parents doing it. I'd spew out such pearls of wisdom as "I'm never going to let my kids behave like that in public" and "if that were my child (insert any ridiculous, smug, non parent, comment here)". As a former waitress, I'd picked up more than my fair share of crackers, french fries, and assorted other goodies from underneath tables. I tried to be sympathetic because it's my nature, but inside I always said "not my kid..."
Fast forward to the modern era. The era I like to call PC (post children), though it is anything but. I bring the huge bag with the crayons, and the sticky placemats, and the cheerios, and everything but the kitchen sink, into the eating establishment, to keep them from causing the kind of chaos that can only be had when you go out to eat. But they don't want any of that stuff. That is stuff they can play with any old time. No, they want to play with the forbidden stuff. The tabletop treasures that they can only get at a restaurant.
So, there you are. You are sitting with your children, they are exhibiting what can only be described as model behavior, having flung only half of their food onto the floor. You notice a few stares, perhaps a comment muttered under the breath by an obviously childless person. . If my children are not being loud, annoying, getting up from their seats to run amok, why does it irritate people if I let them spread a few sugar packets out on the table, or build a jelly tower. It's not as if I am not going to clean it all up.
Sometimes I just wish people would mind their own business.So what is your take on taking kids to restaurants? We have a few family friendly in our area which I would happily take the kids to. My husband on the other hand, he would rather forgo dining out altogether until perhaps their high school graduation dinners.
Let's be clear here. I am not talking about taking them to The Four Seasons. I am not talking about letting them run laps around the tables while others are dining. There is simply no excuse for that. Unless of course mommy has one too many margarita's and can no longer be held accountable for the actions of her kids.
But, in a place like Denny's or Joe's Crab Shack, there has to be some expectation that it might be a little noisy, and that yes, there may be kids smooshing crackers on the table. If you don't like it, go somewhere else, somewhere that doesn't cater to families, or better yet stay home.
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Forever 21
Today is Dagan's 22nd birthday.....a birthday he won't get to celebrate in this earthly plane. A birthday he will instead celebrate...
