OK, now that we're all done laughing at this post title......I can freely admit that I am, in fact, NOT the best mom in the world. Why is it then that I'm always recieving emails from readers asking me for parenting advice? I don't get it. I am flattered, don't get me wrong, but honestly, I'm really not any better at being momish than anyone else.
BUT, since I like actually having readers feel they can talk to me on that level, and I'm such a freakin' people pleaser, I have wracked my brain to come up with some thoughts on motherhood that I hopefully haven't written here before.
While very pregnant with my first child, when I heard the word "mother", I thought of my own. I still wasn't able to wrap my brain around that fact that in a few short days I would be one. (No, not even the swollen feet, and crazy sciatic nerve were enough to clue me in.) The title of "Mom" was surreal to me for the first few days.
Through the months I fell in love with, "mom." It felt natural. Beyond expectations, I felt it suited me. I felt closer to myself and to the mothers who had raised me. My mother and grandmother who I grew up loving and admiring and laughing with.
Over the many years of watching and learning from them......and through much trial and error in finding my own mothering style, here are some things I have learned.
1. Eat dinner as a family as much as possible. In my opinion, "The family dinner" is the most important event that bonds a family. It is the one time that the family sits down together to share their day, discuss topics, and listen to each other.
2. As a mother, you will blow it from time to time. Never be afraid to apologize and admit to your children if you have made a mistake.
3. As much as you teach your children, be willing to listen and learn from them. My children are my greatest teachers.
4. Set strict limits on TV, video games, and computer use. This is really HARD to enforce but is well worth the fight.
5. Teach your children good nutrition by offering them nutritional food. Never keep sodas or lots of junk food in the house and make them a nutritious lunch for school.
6. Remember Mr. Roger's wisdom and let your children know every day that you love them "just the way they are." Don't expect them to be anything but who they are.
7. Be an example to them. Kids learn most by watching you than by anything you say. And they remember everything so be your best around them as much as possible.
8. Expose them to the arts. They won't get enough of them in school.
9. Give your children space to find out who they are. Our children are more like our ancestors than like us, so don't identify yourself with them or assume they are like you. Most likely they aren't.
10. Teach a code of ethics and set rules that you can stick too. Kids need and want limits. And they need something to pull from when times get rough.
11. Follow your heart when it comes to parenting. You will never parent each child the same because each child is different.
12. Let your children make mistakes and learn from them. This is the hardest thing to do. You cannot shield them from pain. Life is difficult and they need to learn how to deal with their problems and learn from their mistakes.
13. Try not to take everything too seriously. When things don't turn out just the way you had thought they would, find joy in the new turn of events.
14. Develop trust through communication and honesty. If you aren't honest with them, how can you expect them to be honest with you?
15. Let the punishment fit the crime. Simply grounding a child isn't necessarily the best punishment.
16. Your kids don't want you to solve their problems, they want to solve their own problems. They simply want to know you sympathize.
2. As a mother, you will blow it from time to time. Never be afraid to apologize and admit to your children if you have made a mistake.
3. As much as you teach your children, be willing to listen and learn from them. My children are my greatest teachers.
4. Set strict limits on TV, video games, and computer use. This is really HARD to enforce but is well worth the fight.
5. Teach your children good nutrition by offering them nutritional food. Never keep sodas or lots of junk food in the house and make them a nutritious lunch for school.
6. Remember Mr. Roger's wisdom and let your children know every day that you love them "just the way they are." Don't expect them to be anything but who they are.
7. Be an example to them. Kids learn most by watching you than by anything you say. And they remember everything so be your best around them as much as possible.
8. Expose them to the arts. They won't get enough of them in school.
9. Give your children space to find out who they are. Our children are more like our ancestors than like us, so don't identify yourself with them or assume they are like you. Most likely they aren't.
10. Teach a code of ethics and set rules that you can stick too. Kids need and want limits. And they need something to pull from when times get rough.
11. Follow your heart when it comes to parenting. You will never parent each child the same because each child is different.
12. Let your children make mistakes and learn from them. This is the hardest thing to do. You cannot shield them from pain. Life is difficult and they need to learn how to deal with their problems and learn from their mistakes.
13. Try not to take everything too seriously. When things don't turn out just the way you had thought they would, find joy in the new turn of events.
14. Develop trust through communication and honesty. If you aren't honest with them, how can you expect them to be honest with you?
15. Let the punishment fit the crime. Simply grounding a child isn't necessarily the best punishment.
16. Your kids don't want you to solve their problems, they want to solve their own problems. They simply want to know you sympathize.
17. Don't forget to be joyful!!! Children are an endless source of joy.
2 comments:
You should write a book...I am serious!
You know as a first time mom I am loving all this practical advice! You do seem kinda smart Erin, maybe a book would be a great idea!!
Here's another subject for you that I am just becoming exposed to: Judgements from other moms. I am only 5 months and already feeling the sting of it. Apparently to one group of women if I have a c-section I am a failure, or if I don't take the right vitamins my kids will be misbehaved and unhealthy. How do you deal???
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