On Being Thankful

As the year draws to a close, I've been thinking a lot about what 2018 looked like in my little corner of the world.  It was chock full of some really good things, some really bad things, and a lot of in between things, as years tend to do.

As far as my personal life goes, the best thing I started to do this year was a thankful list.  I got the idea after reading a blog post about how we can train our brains to focus on the positive things in life.

The theory behind the list, is that if you know that at the end of the day you're going to have to list 5 (or more) things that you were thankful for that day, you will eventually start LOOKING for little things to be thankful for.  So where typically you may have hit 3 green lights in a row on your morning commute and thought nothing of it, when your perspective is more one of gratitude, your brain notices those green lights and flags them as something good to add to your list at the end of the day.  I was intrigued by the concept and started to give it a go.

It is TRULY life changing.

And, the biggest reason I know it is life changing is that when I've had a bad day (or 4), I noticed that I stopped doing it.  And I could see a big difference in my perspective, and how I viewed my day.

Calling out the small things in life to be thankful for has completely shifted my thought processes.  I mean, if I'm going to let a few small bad things that happen to me ruin my day, why can't I do the same with the few, seemingly insignificant, good things that happen every day?

A small (and seemingly ridiculous, but go with me on this) example of this is tea.  If I hit the drive through for a tea, and it's cool (or at least not warm enough), I'm going to be a little annoyed.  But if I get to work, and my tea is still hot, I don't really think about it because tea is supposed to be hot.  But if I know that I need 5 little things to be thankful for, I'm going to be like, "Yes!  Hot tea!  This is awesome, and it's going on my list today!"

If you're thinking about 2019 goals/resolutions/intentions -- then this is a great one to start.  It so simple, but so impactful.  It is both doable, and completely life changing.

So grab yourself a small notebook, or open up the notes tab on your phone.  At the end of every day, write down 5 things you are thankful for.  Don't include the big things, like your family and friends -- just the little things from THAT day (like green lights or hot tea).  It can be surprisingly difficult the first few days, but that's kind of the point.  Train your brain to be happily surprised and thankful for those little things.

I promise you won't regret it.

Just Slow Down

I write some version of this post every year, and just like always, it's just as much for me as for anyone who may read it. 

Here we are, less than two weeks out from Christmas. Things tend to start to get a little hectic around this time, so I wanted to drop in with my yearly reminder for you to slow down and savor what this season is truly for and about.
'Tis the season for gifts and parties and lots of plans, yes. It's also the season for joy and gratitude and wonder. Don't lose those last three because you're so caught up in the first three. 

Joy and gratitude and wonder are all free, but you have to look for them. And, in my personal experience, it's a lot harder to find them if you're running around at light speed trying to do all the things. 

So this week, slow down for a minute or two and just savor the good things around you. Listen to your favorite Christmas music. Actually look at the Christmas lights in your neighborhood instead of just rushing to get home so you can rush to the next thing. Don't run yourself so ragged that you arrive at Christmas day exhausted and stressed over how much money you've spent. That's no way to start the new year. 
This time of year is beautiful and special for so many reasons other than what you can buy or what you have to do. So don't miss that! 

How To Spend Your December

It's the most magical month of the yeeeaaar!   There are 31 glorious days this month, and I have a few ideas of how to spend some of those days.

1.  Start an advent calendar/reading plan.  Yes, we're a few days late.  Yes, we can still do it.

2.  Donate to those in need.  There are likely things in your kitchen that you can donate to a local food bank, and you wouldn't even miss them.  But, they could sure make someone else's holiday a whole lot better.

3.  Make a playlist of your favorite Christmas songs.  Blast said playlist loudly and as often as possible.

4.  Decorate for Christmas.  Whether you go all out of opt for a mini-tree; do what makes you happy.

5.  Watch "Elf".  Not in the Christmas spirit yet?  I've got just the cure.

6.  Mail someone a Christmas card.  Bonus points if it's someone who wouldn't expect it.

7.  Look up festive things happening in your town this month.    Pick a few and go out and do them.

8.  Get some holiday flavored coffee, hot chocolate or cider.  There's nothing that pairs better with a great holiday movie, or a mid-day pick-me-up.

9.  Declutter.  Especially if you have kids who will be receiving lots of new clothes/toys this Christmas.  It's a perfect time to donate no longer loved items. 

10.  Be a secret Santa.  There is no better feeling that knowing you've brightened someone's holiday mood. 

11.  Bake Christmas treats.  Keep them for yourself or share them with your friends.

12.  Watch your favorite Christmas movie.  (See #5)

13.  Watch a Christmas movie you've never seen before.

14.  Take pictures with Santa.  Take your kid or your pet and then please share these pictures.


15. Get dressed up. There's just something about getting dressed up in December. You can get fancier than normal and it just feels right. 

16. Do something that has nothing to do with your to-do list. Take a break and check in with yourself. Don't get so busy doing all the things that you don't enjoy this season.  17.  Have a dinner party.  Whether you invite over the whole neighborhood or just cook your favorite festive things and watch a movie, both are perfect. 

18.  Make your last-minute Christmas shopping a festive celebration. Last minute shopping used to stress me out to NO END. But the last few years, I've made it into a celebration...Christmas music, peppermint mochas, enjoying all the store's decorations. 

19.  Go to a Christmas service. Regardless of your faith, there's something incredibly peaceful about Christmas services. 

20.  Go look at Christmas lights. 

21.  Have the MOST lazy day. Yesterday was probably crazy, take a break today! 

22.  Spend some time reflecting on 2018. What do you hope to be different in 2019?

23.  Write 2018 a letter. 

24.  Set some goals! Whatcha gonna do with this new year headed your way?

How will you be spending December?

Easy Ways To Be Happy

In the monotony of daily life, chasing after happiness can seem like an endless, really big project. And sometimes, it is. But sometimes it's simpler and more easily attained than we make it out to be. Sometimes no big changes need to be made, no big trips need to be taken. Sometimes you're just a few minutes away from happy. 

Some simple ways to find your happiness today. . .
Go for ice cream. There's a reason everyone loves going for ice cream when they're a kid...because it's a happy thing! No reason that should stop just because you're an adult now. 
Watch the sunset. Getting outside in any way helps put me in a good mood, but being outside and watching the sky wind down for the night in the most beautiful way, it's hard to not feel happy. 
Make your favorite kind of cup of coffee, tea, anything!!. Iced coffee or a cappuccino or a shot of espresso, frap, tea -- hot or iced...make your favorite and then take a few minutes to just enjoy it. 
Watch your favorite movie. It's your favorite for a reason! 
Take a bubble bath. It's my personal belief that bubble baths can right most wrongs in life; especially with some nice music, a cold drink, and a good book. 
Cook your favorite dinner. 
Or, order your favorite dinner instead. 
Go for a drive and listen to the music that makes you happy. Bonus points if you hit up Wendy's for a frosty while you're out.

Look through the pictures on your phone. I take so many pictures of the kids just on a whim or during a funny moment and then forget about them. Looking back at them always puts me in a good mood.

Plan a vacation. Even if it's not one you can take this year (or even next year), there's something inherently happy about vacation planning. Dream a little, look up the places you've always wanted to go, and start planning!
What are some easy ways you add happiness to your day?

If I Could Tell You Anything

If I could tell you anything -- I mean anything.....and you would believe me, here's what I'd say.

You are enough. You are so enough. I know that you probably don't think so, and when you look at your life as a whole, the first thing you notice is the places where you don't feel like you are enough. But listen to me, you beautiful creature, you: You are enough. I think that sometimes we feel like we're not enough because we keep forcing things on ourselves that were never meant for us. We try to wear hats we were never meant to wear, try to fill positions we were never meant to fill, try to be things for people that we were never meant to be. But the things that were meant for you? Oh, babe. You are more than enough. 
You are loved. More than you know.

You are a force to be reckoned with. You're gifted in such specific ways. When you recognize those areas and use those things, watch out, world. 

Sometimes the right choice and the right feelings come at different times. So if you're feeling crappy about that decision you had to make because you know in your gut it was the right thing to do, hold on just a little longer. Emotions are fickle things, and it can take them awhile to catch up. 

The small steps you're taking are adding up. So keep up the work. I know it's hard to not see instant results when you feel like you're working hard. It sucks to not see a big paycheck or a toned stomach or a restored relationship right away, but I promise, the work you're doing will get you there. Those small steps are leading you to the right place. Keep taking them. Keep working hard. 

Happy Tuesday, friends!  I am sending much love your way today.

Believe in YOU!!!

Have you ever been faced with a daunting, insurmountable situation that made you feel like no matter what you did, you just weren't going to make it out? Or a dream that you really, really wanted, but seemed nearly impossible from all angles? 
If you have, and have had a friend come alongside you and say, "oh my goodness, you were made for this! You're amazing, you've got this, I believe in you, I love you" then you know just how powerful it is to have someone believe in you. 

It's so important to surround yourself with those kinds of people. It is essential that the people you allow into your inner circle are the kind of people who will cheer you on, who will go to war for you,  who will believe in you, who will remind you of your own greatness. Those are the best types of friends. 

But for the love of muffins, please be your own friend. Please believe in your own self. 

There's a special kind of magic that comes from believing in yourself. It comes with a sort of power, because no one other than you can give it to you, so no one other than you can take it away. 

You are amazing. It's true that you've got this. You were made for that dream that's burning in your heart. You are worthy of success and love. All of those things are already true. But when you start to believe them for yourself? Ooh, girl. Gamechanger. Stand-back-world-because-here-I-am-kinda-gamechanger.

You are magic. Time to start believing it.

Don't Apologize For Who You Are

I say "sorry" entirely too often. It's something I'm working on, but I have a long way to go. A friend told me this that when you say "sorry" all the time, it cheapens your apologies, and that was really thought-provoking to me. I want my apologies to mean something, so I started looking at the types of things I apologize for. 
Wanna know what I found? I apologize a lot for who I am. 

Sorry, I shouldn't have gotten my feelings hurt over that. I'm too sensitive. 

Sorry, I'm a mom, so I can't go out with you tonight because my kids have a football/volleyball/basketball game.
Sorry, I'm a blogger, so I really want to go back there and take a picture of that so I can use it in a post. 
When you apologize for parts of who you are, it's like you're intentionally cutting yourself down. And it's really, really hard to love someone who is always cutting you down. And if anyone should be able to love you, it's you. 
I'm extremely imperfect. I'm very bad at making decisions, they take me forever. I get really emotionally invested in silly things, so I sometimes cry over stuff that is unimportant, in the grand scheme of things. 
Do you know who I owe an apology to about these things? 

Not a single person. 

If you're like me and say "sorry" without even thinking about it, I want to challenge you to start paying attention to the things that get your apologies. And I want you to stop handing them out when it comes to who you are. 

You are amazing, flaws and all, and you should never apologize for who you are. 

To My Max on Your 18th Birthday

Dear Max;

We made it, Buddy!  Happy 18th birthday!  Do you feel any different than you did yesterday?  Maybe you should.  Today marks the day that you can legally vote (Please do so deliberately and carefully), purchase cigarettes (Please don't ruin those perfectly healthy lungs.  I invested 9 months in their creation!), enter into binding contracts (Beware of unnecessary debt...which pretty much means any and all debt), and fight and die for your country (Let's hope it never comes to that).

Since this is such a momentous occasion, I thought I would write you a very personal letter (and then post it on the internet for the whole world to see).  Today is both a wonderful and miserable day for me.  I've found myself vacillating between exuberant celebration for having successfully birthed, raised, taught, nurtured, and released out into the world a productive and thoughtful member of society...and getting lost in a bottle of vodka,  drunk with sadness because my baby is all grown up.

Some days I miss that tiny baby...and the sweet chubby toddler...and the trusting innocent child that you were.  You see time is in ways a mother's worst enemy.  It in small stages robs her of her babies.  It seems as if one day I reached out to kiss you on the cheek and suddenly had to look up instead of reach down. And in the place of my precious baby boy stood a grown man.  It's humbling and beautiful and exciting...even if it is somewhat bittersweet for me.

I know that I often view you through mom-colored glasses, seeing only your best qualities and elements of your nature...the rougher edges  made foggy as they are viewed through love.  But I do know that you have grown into a thoughtful, respectful, intelligent, and freethinking person.  I am proud and humbled to have in small ways helped you on that journey. 

The journey hasn't been an easy one.  I was really still a kid when you came along, already trying to raise one crazy toddler.  I still knew very little about being a parent (although I was sure I had it all figured out.  I mean...I hadn't completely screwed your older brother up, yet.  How hard could it possibly be?) and we had to grow together.  I apologize for my many mistakes and shortcomings.  And while there were many times I understood why in some species of animals mothers eat their young, I am mostly grateful we weren't born guppies or hamsters or polar bears.  Because had I devoured you in some moment of frazzled motherhood exhaustion and desperation, I would have missed out on so many moments of deep joy and friendship.

Yes...friendship.  I count it as my greatest success and reward as a parent to have helped raise someone so wonderfully witty and caring and profound, that I would seek you as a friend even if we didn't share DNA and hormonal bonding.  I am as proud to call you my friend as I am to call you my son.

You've stretched my heart in the same way you once stretched my body.  Those silvery lines of stretchmarks are lasting signs of how you grew too big for my body to hold.  I imagine similar silvery stretchmarks on my heart  (metaphorical of course, because....OUCH.)...which also wasn't big enough in the beginning to hold all of my love for you.  Sometimes it still feels like it isn't big enough, and that I might just burst open (But then who would have to clean THAT mess up?).

I've been thinking for several months now about all of the wonderful cliched grown-up advice I should give you on this, your first day of legal adulthood.  Things like:

• Remember who you are.
• Be confident, but stay humble.
• Don't forget to floss.
• Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself.
• Never make eye contact while eating a banana.
• Be a voice not an echo.
• Please, please, please don't get in an accident if you aren't wearing clean underwear.
• The grass is only greener on the other side because it's fertilized with bullshit.
• You were born an original.  Don't die a copy.

And most importantly:

• DON'T GROW UP! IT'S A TRAP!

But I tossed out the list.  I've always been the kind of mother who doesn't tell you what to do (unless it's the 10th time I've asked you to take out the trash...or do the dishes...or to absolutely not under any circumstances kill your little brother!).  Instead I've let you figure most things out on your own, to make your own decisions and mistakes, to give advice and boundaries in ways that still let you seek your heart's desire.  Why should I start telling you what to do now?  I know you are going to be just fine, probably much more than fine.

Welcome to the adult world, Buddy.  I assure you it isn't quite everything that it's hyped up to be.  But it isn't as bad as some people make it out to be, either.  In fact, it's pretty much what you make it.  I know you'll make it a beautiful one (in much the same way you've made mine beautiful).  So your life is no longer in my hands...it's in your own. But remember that no matter where this adventure might lead you...I will always be your mother, and your friend...and your number one fan.

Love;

Your momma

You Are Enough

HEY, YOU. 

You are enough. 

That big dream you have, the one that seems far too big and bold and grand to ever really be yours, you are enough for that. 

The days you wake up and look at your to-do list that has grown miles long, but ish has hit the fan and it's time to get to work, you are enough for that. 

The days where life comes at you in all directions (none of them good), and you have to be your own warrior, you are enough for that. 

The days you have to be not only your own strength but someone else's, too, you are enough for that. 

You are strong enough. 

You are smart enough. 

You are worthy enough. 

You are brave enough. 

When you wake up one day and realize you aren't in love with your life and desperately want a fresh start, you are enough to stand up and start over. 

When little daily worries and big life disasters feel like they're going to drown you, you are enough to stand firm and hold on. 

On the days you feel inadequate, the days you're sure you'll never be a good enough

worker/mom/friend, you are enough. 

You are not perfect, but you don't have to be. Because you are enough. 

Being a Better Person

I am 100% of the belief that you can become a better person. Just like you can become a better writer, or a better tennis player, or a better cook. If something is important to you, you'll put the effort in, and being a good human is important to me. Here are some ways I'm trying to get better at it. 

1. I'm trying to let little things bother me less. The other day, I burnt a piece of chicken I was cooking and then knocked over a glass of water. I said, out loud to myself, "What a crappy night." And then actually laughed at myself, because, seriously? If I'm going to be the kind of person who lets some spilled water ruin their night, I'm going to have a pretty miserable existence. So none of that! 

2. Saying less of "here I am" and more of "there you are!" I heard a saying recently that there are two types of people: People who walk in a room and say HERE I AM! And people who walk in a room and say, "There you are!" I want to be the second person. 
3. Eating better and working out. Plain and simple, this is making me a better person physically. It's important!

4. Making space for people. When I first started my spring cleaning this year, I would say to myself, "The goal here is to create space".  Then I would drive me crazy. Because there's only so much space, it already exists, and I cannot make more. What kind of hippie nonsense is this? But the more I said it, the more I got it, and the more I see how it translates over to real life. 
You only have so much space in your life, but you get to move it around and manipulate it to fit where you want it and choose who gets to take it up. And I want to choose to create space for the people who matter. I want to create space for my friends to call me if they're having a bad day. Space for people to be able to ask for my help. Space for canceled plans in order for me to be there for my people. 

5. Consciously choosing kindness. I consider myself to be a pretty kind person. And yes, it would be awesome if I was always automatically kind without even thinking about it, but that's not always the case. So I'm working on thinking about it. Actually waking up and deciding to be kind. Taking a breath in the heat of a frustrating moment and actively choosing kindness. 

6. Less judging. Period. This year has taught me that very, very few things are black and white. I have no idea what someone is going through, or where they're coming from, so my judgment has no place here. When I feel judgey in a situation, I'm trying to notice it and replace that with love. 

7. Trying, even in the seemingly impossible situations. Maybe a few dollars isn't going to change a homeless person's life around. Maybe calling your city councilor isn't going to change their mind. Maybe offering your support isn't going to break someone's addiction. But I, for one, want to be able to say I always tried, no matter how hopeless a situation seemed. 
8. Listening. How often do we say, "how's it going?" in passing without really caring about the response? Or how often are we in a conversation, just nodding but also scrolling through our phones? I'm working on becoming a better listener instead. 

9. Responding to my texts and emails. Goodness gracious, I am so bad at this. Some of it's due to getting anxious over things, but some of it is due to pure laziness/procrastination. I'm working on responding to things in a much timelier matter, even if my response is just, "I'll have to get back to you."

10. Learning the best ways to love my people. We all feel most loved in different ways. I have a friend who's whole month is made by sending her a 99 cent greeting card saying hi, and one friend who feels appreciated when someone acknowledges her hard work. I have a friend who feels loved by phone calls. Another friend hates talking on the phone, but loves funny texts full of inappropriate memes. I'm working on taking the time to learn these little things so I can show love better. 

How are you trying to become a better person?

You Take The Good, You Take The Bad......

You take them both, and there you have the facts of life.  :P  (OK, enough reminiscing about my childhood TV habits.)

Dear You, 

You will have good days. Days that make you happy to be alive. Days that make you thankful that you are the one living your life. Days where you notice how good even the little things are--the way the sun is shining, the way your favorite song makes you feel, the way your heart beats in your chest after a workout. 

You will have bad days. Days where it feels hard to just be alive. Days that you wish you could have been dealt a different hand in life. Days where you notice how bad even the little things are--the way the check engine light only comes on when you're already upset, the way you can't sleep through the night anymore, the way that absolutely nothing is going the way it is supposed to go. 

Life is made up of both of these days. I wish that I could say there was always a balance, but there's not. Some seasons are made up of mostly good days, but some are made up of mostly bad days, with no breaks in between. No matter how many good days you've had, the bad ones still suck. The fact that you've had good days doesn't make the bad days hurt less. But the good news is that when the good days show up, they show up with all their good day magic, no matter how many bad days you've had. 

On the good days: Live them to the fullest. Celebrate every tiny, warm, perfect, delicious detail. Don't waste a single minute of them looking ahead to what might happen in the future or thinking about bad things that have already happened. Just live the good days, in the moment, as they come. Let them remind you how good life can be.

On the bad days: Remember that you'll be okay. If history is any indication, you have a pretty good track record of making it through these. It's okay that the smallest things upset you. It's okay that you feel convinced that the whole world is against you today. If you can find nothing else good, remember that having a bad day means you are still alive, and that's something. Let the bad day just be a bad day, ask for help if you need it, and go to bed with the hope that tomorrow will be a good day. 

You will have good days and bad days. You will make it through both. Both will shape the wonderful, magical person you are. And both are a reminder of the incredible, phenomenal gift: You are alive. 

You Can Do It

Have you ever felt frozen in your life? Like you just couldn't do anything? Maybe because of depression, or maybe you felt overwhelmed by how much had fallen on your plate, or you were afraid of what was next, or exhausted, or just unmotivated and over it. 

If you have, and you've told someone about it, you know there are three types of people. 

There's the person who responds in the, buck up sunshine, it could be worse, get it together kind of way (not helpful). 

There's the person who jumps in and starts wallowing with you. You're right, life is so hard and this sucks and I don't know if you can do it, either (it can be helpful to commiserate with someone, but if it stops there, also not helpful). 

And then there's the person who looks at you and says, you can do it. I believe in you (ding ding ding). 

We could all use a little more of that third person in our lives, so that's what I wanted to throw at you today. 

So hey. You can do it. 

That to-do list that you have to do, but keeps getting longer and longer...you can do it. 

The overwhelming amount of responsibilities that you shouldn't have to deal with alone, but certain circumstances have made it that way...you've got this. I know you do. 

The work project you were volunteered for and feel like you are in way over your head...you are going to work hard and be so successful. 

The degree you've been chipping away at forever and think might actually be the death of you...you're going to finish strong. 

The dream that you're so afraid of failing at that you can't bring yourself to start...get started, because you can do it. 

Whatever you're dealing with today...a kitchen full of dirty dishes or a broken relationship or a job hunt or a big dream or a scary deadline...you. can. do. it. It may take a lot of hard work, but good news: You can work hard! It may take longer than you hoped, but that's fine. It may be messier than you thought for, but that's okay. 

Whatever it is that you need to do today, you can do it. I believe in you. 

And then, once you've done it...the big, hovering, intimidating thing, you get to turn to someone else who is also frozen and say, Hey! You've got this. You can do it too. 

So go forward and just do it. Because you can. 

Poison or Fruit

I spend a lot of time thinking about words. Words for a blog post, words for a story, words for Instagram captions. I love words. I think they can change the world. 

We've probably all been told at some point or another to be careful with our words. That they can hurt people. Sticks and stones, and all that.  

I've always paid attention to how parents talk to their kids, but after I had kids, it's something I noticed even more. I find it heartbreaking how easily it seems to come to some people to say belittling and hurtful things to their child. 

In the age of Trump, we've all got those friends who feel the need to share their seemingly ignorant and unresearched opinions on the daily...the ones who will call you a range of colorful names when you disagree with them. 

It's likely that you daily see examples of people (including yourself, probably!) who should have been more careful with their words. And by that, I mean they probably just never should have said them. 

There's a verse that says "Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit-you choose." I love that. I love viewing our words as something so powerful...they can nourish or they can kill. I think that sometimes, we remember that we should be careful with what we say, but we forget how much power our words are capable of. 

I think this is something I'll probably always struggle with. For most of my life I have been very nonconfrontational and avoided disrupting peace at all costs. Then some things happened where I really wish I would have spoken up and not been such a doormat, and that translated into me feeling like I had to say my opinion on everything, every time. Neither one of those sides is good. There's a middle ground in there somewhere. 

I strongly believe you should vaccinate your kids. But do I need to say that to every single parent I come in contact with? No. It makes my blood boil when I hear people so casually say they won't be voting, because I think that it's a precious right that came at a very high cost. But do I need to write a lengthy Facebook post about it every single day? Nope. Then there are some things that are just too big and too important to stay silent on. 

So yes, we should be careful with our words. But in remembering how powerful they are, we can't forget to use them. 

Your words are a powerful sword that you get to choose how to wield. In the simplest sense, you can use them to build someone up or tear them down. In a deeper sense, you can use them to argue pointlessly, or you can use them to change the world. You choose. 

The Happiness Project -- Week 4

And so we've arrived at the final week of pursuing daily happiness through little actions. I apologize for missing last week, but I have enjoyed this so much! One thing I've learned is that sometimes, when I'm looking to make a life change, I feel like I have to do a huge overhaul right this second. Which in some cases is needed, but in most cases is just overwhelming, frustrating, and leaves me feeling worse off than I did to begin with. 
Little changes are easy. They're not stressful. If you want to be happier, sure, you could pack up and move to your favorite city. You could quit your job and start your own business. Or, you could take ten minutes for yourself in the morning. You could go for more walks. You could buy yourself a new book.
Do I think you can make yourself happier? Absolutely. And I don't think it takes a dramatic change or giant gesture to happen. 
On to the final week!
Day Twenty-Two: Think of your "happy places" and see what they say about you. If you're really happy when you're at work, maybe you need more things in your life that give you a sense of accomplishment. If your happy place is the gym (really, though?) maybe you need more activities. If you're happiest on vacation, maybe you need to work on de-stressing your daily life. If your happy place is in the middle of a good book, maybe you need some more creative things in your life. See what I mean?
Day Twenty-Three: Buy new pajamas. This may seem silly, but think about how much time you spend unwinding for the night/actually sleeping/drinking coffee & actually starting your day. We're talking hours and hours! You should spend those non-hectic hours in something insanely comfortable.  Side note: This does not have to be expensive. My favorite pajamas in the world were 19.99 at Costco.
Day Twenty-Four: Go somewhere you love and just walk around with no list or agenda. The mall or Walmart or the library or the craft store or Home Depot...go through Tim Horton's drive-thru and then browse away while drinking your peppermint tea.
Day Twenty-Five: Ask yourself what the biggest thing in your life making you unhappy is. If you know the answer to this, chances are that you can't do anything to completely change it overnight. But you can take little steps to change it. Come up with three tiny steps you can take to make yourself happier in that area, and do those. 
Day Twenty-Six: Make a list of the good decisions you have made. We've all made bad decisions, but who cares about those. Let's talk about the good stuff!   Day Twenty-Seven: Print out some of your favorite pictures. Things and people and places that make you happy. Put them places you'll see! On your walls, in your car, at your desk. 

Day Twenty-Eight: Go out for ice cream. Or frozen yogurt, or coffee. Grab your husband or boyfriend or best friend or dog and go get a treat. Life is short- treat yo'self. 
Your turn! What are some small actions you've taken that have made you happier?

The Happiness Project -- Week 3

Halfway through, and I can honestly say it's working for me. Tiny little actions add up to make happier days, and a happier life is made up of happier days. So let's keep going with the happier days!
Day Fifteen: Make a to-do list of everything you have to get done this week. When you get overwhelmed, look at this list. Sometimes being unhappy comes from being stressed, and forgetting what you have to do and spending your time getting distracted by things that aren't totally necessary is most definitely stressful.

Day Sixteen: Get outside. Make an effort to spend more time breathing fresh air and less time cooped up inside. Really, just five minutes of sunshine can make a huge difference in your mood.

Day Seventeen: Read a chapter in book instead of watching television when unwinding for bed. 

Day Eighteen: Make yourself a cup of coffee or tea and spend ten minutes just drinking it. No phone, no TV, no email, no to-do list...just you. 

Day Nineteen: Forgive someone. Don't drudge up the past, don't invite new drama into your life...just decide to forgive them, and move on. No need to involve anyone else.

Day Twenty: Make a list of things you really, truly like about yourself. Hang it on your mirror.

Day Twenty-One: Take a humor break. Spend five or ten or twenty minutes browsing the humor section on Pinterest, watching your favorite stand up comedy, watching funny youtube clips..whatever it is that makes you laugh!

Cheers to another happy week!

The Happiness Project -- Week 2

Day Eight: Do something creative. Write something or paint something or glitter something or build something. Make something for no one other than yourself.

Day Nine: Treat your free time like a vacation. When you're on vacation, do you check your work emails? Or waste time watching a TV show you don't even like? (Okay, maybe you do, but you shouldn't) If you have any free time today, treat it like you would treat a vacation and do things you want to do. Rest. Relax. Go get ice cream. Read a book. 

Day Ten: Clean up the room you sleep in. Cleaning might not conjure up feelings of happiness for everyone, but waking up in a clean room just starts the day out on a good note. 

Day Eleven: Try yoga. Don't knock it 'til you try it. I've had my fair share of rolling my eyes at yoga, but lately I've realized how beneficial it is. There's plenty of variety...you can get your workout on and work your muscles, or you can stretch and relax. Both are helpful. 

Day Twelve: Make a list of things you're looking forward to. Flip flop and tank top weather! Your anniversary! Vacation! Going shopping the next time you get paid! Put the list somewhere you can see it. See? There's so much to be happy about.
Day Thirteen: Do something kind for someone else. Buy your coworker a cup of coffee. Hold the door for someone. Be a pizza bandit and send pizza to your friend's house. Once again, making someone else happy does wonders for your own happiness. 

Day Fourteen: Write down five unexpected things that made you happy this week. Make yourself think about it until you can come up with five things. Lots of green lights on your way to work, or an email coupon to your favorite store, or a pretty sunset. Nothing is too small!

Cheers to another happy week!

Where Everyone Belongs

How often do I see someone standing alone, obviously uncomfortable, and decide to just stay in the conversation I'm in rather than try to include them? Or when someone says we should get together! How many times do I nod enthusiastically and then don't follow up, because life is busy and getting together takes time? How many times have I seen someone sitting alone and it would have taken nothing for me to go sit with them, but I chose to stay where I was? Or when someone emails me asking blog questions, and I think about how long it would take to respond, so I put it off until it's forgotten. 

Answer: Probably more than I realize. 

I've probably been the source of people not feeling good about themselves, just because it was easier for me to not get involved. 

So today, I'm reminding myself to be a place where everyone belongs. In conversations, at parties, at work, in life. It's not that hard. 
We don't have to be best friends with everyone, ever. It's not our responsibility to make sure no one is ever left out. But one thing we should all strive for is to be a place where everyone belongs. It's really, really not that hard. 

Public service reminder: Life is short. Love people while you're here. 

The Happiness Project -- Week One

I've been thinking a lot about happiness lately. About how much of it is circumstantial, how much of it we control, and if you can really make yourself happier. 

So much of life is out of our control. But we often forget that so much of life is in our control. I know we all have issues or circumstances that aren't the happiest, but I think a lot of our unhappiness is within our own control. I think a lot of times, the reason we're not happy is because we're not trying to be.  If you could make a few small changes, or take a few small actions, and it would lead you to a place where you legitimately felt happier, wouldn't you do it?

I've heard it said that it takes 28 days to form a new habit. So can you make yourself happier in 28 days? Well, we're certainly going to try. 

Project Happy: 28 Days to Happiness

Day One: Wake up ten minutes earlier than normal. Don't add anything to your morning, just wake up the first time your alarm goes off so you don't start the day off rushing. 
Day Two: Go through the day without complaining out loud. When you catch yourself complaining out loud (which you will, because you are not a magician), make sure to say something positive in the next five minutes.

Day Three: Make a playlist of songs that make you happy. Whenever you have to do something boring, like driving to work or doing the dishes, listen to it. Bonus points for singing along extra loud, triple bonus points for dancing along. 

Day Four: Compliment every single person you speak to. Tell the cashier you like her lipstick, compliment the shoes of the guy who holds the door for you, tell your coworker she did a good job on her presentation. Most of the time, making other people happy makes you happy.

Day Five: Buy yourself flowers, or a new candle, or something in your favorite color. Put it somewhere you'll see it several times throughout the day.

Day Six: When you get dressed this morning, only think about what you like. Don't think about what's popular or about what someone else might think of you. Pick your clothes and your shoes and your makeup and everything else based solely on what makes you happy. 

Day Seven: Go for a walk. Alone or with company, with music or without, whatever makes you the happiest. Just make sure to wait until the day cools down so you don't come back grumpier than when you left.

I challenge ALL of you to try this first week with me, and let me know how it works out for you.