Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Idol Chatter: The Top 5

Lets get right to it, since I'm really late already.

*Lee -- "Still the One": He definately modernized it and rocked it up. Parts of it I liked, but for the most part he just sounded off-tune. The chorus was great, but the verses were just off for me.

*Mike -- "It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing": I loved it. He needs to get away from ballads, but I thought it was fantastic, and I LOVED the falsetto at the end.

*Casey -- "Don't": Aside from his vibrato which is always distracting and annoying, it was an overall really good performance. One of my absolute favorites of his.

*Crystal -- "No One Needs to Know": Not a great song choice for her at all. She slowed it down and stripped it of anything authentic. I am a little worried for her. Worst performance to date.

*Aaron -- "You've Got a Way": I still love his voice, but this was really sleepy for me. The end note was great, but the rest of it was really boring.

*Siobhan -- "Any Man of Mine": Hated it! I don't think that this song suited her voice at all. She was too nasally and really irritating, and screaming in every song is just getting rediculous. I can't believe how much the judges raved about her.

Anyway, sadly I think the bottom three will be: Lee, Siobhan and Crystal.....and I really hope the Siobhan finally goes home.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Guess What I'm Doing Today?

I'll give you a hint . . .

It's stinky.

You never know what you will find lurking in its midst.

There's a sure chance toxic waste will be involved.

The daunting task I face today requires a strong back, stout heart, steady nerves, and a deep and abiding faith in a loving God who will not abandon me, even as I stare into the maw of evil.

That's right, it's . . .

Laundry Day

Lord help me, it's gonna get worse before it gets better.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Two Types of Moms at McDonalds

Type A Mom helps her child take off his shoes and place them in the plastic cubby. She kneels down so she's eye level with her child and carefully explains the sock policy: under no condition is he to take off his socks.

Type B Mom enters Playland with a tray of food, sets it on a table, yells up the slide that it's time to eat, then exits the area to eat her meal in the main restaurant. She doesn't notice that her kids' flip flops are strewn about the middle of the floor.

Type A Mom's child is not allowed to play until he finishes his meal.

Type B Mom's kids throw their McNuggets at each other and take their drinks with them into the play equipment.

Type A Mom lets her child know he has 5 minutes left to play while she tidies up and returns the tray to the top of the trash can.

Type B Mom storms into Playland, yells up at her kids that it's time to go NOW, then sets off the high-pitched alarm when she ushers them all out through the emergency exit.

The McDonald's teenaged employee who's assigned to clean up Playland prefers Type A Mom.

If you've found this analysis informative, you may want to read further about Two Types of Moms at the Playground. Always with the parenting advice . . . I'm helpful that way.

Friday, April 23, 2010

The Two Types of Moms at the Playground

Type A Mom gets upset when kids pile rocks on the bottom of the slide because they'll scratch up the slide and get the clean children dirty.

Type B Mom doesn't care about rock piles because she understands that all kids love to play with rocks. They love to sift their fingers through pebbles, put them in their mouth to rinse them off, and shower passers-by with pea gravel. But most of all, they love to pile rocks up at the end of the slide and then plow through them.

Type A Mom climbs into the slides, tunnels, and cockpits/boathouses/rocket ships to play with her child, to supervise the other children so they don't mistreat or speak harshly to her child, and to extract her child when it's time to go home.

Type B Mom doesn't play with her children at the playground. She reads her book or talks on her cell phone. If one of her children comes crying because of something another kid said or did, Type B Mom threatens to pack it in and go home. When it really is time to go, Type B Mom sends in a sibling to get the others from the slides, tunnels, and cockpits/boathouses/rocketships. If no siblings are available, she'll grab someone else's child and send them in. If that doesn't work, Type B Mom uses the healthy lungs with which God blessed her to get her children's attention. Under no circumstance will she haul her big butt onto, certainly not into, playground equipment.

Type A Mom has one child. Type B Mom has lost count.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Idol Chatter: The Top 7

So, the theme this week was songs of inspiration. This is a hugely broad theme, and could encompass many songs. I have to admit I was quite excited when I heard this. After looking over the song list that the idols had to choose from, I think this is the song I would have done:

And now on to the contestants:

*Casey -- "Don't Stop": Interesting song choice. I don't really think of it as overly inspiring, but whatever. I think he was way pitchy, right from the first note. It was the worst I've ever heard him sound. It was as if he was trying to sing the harmony of the song instead of the melody.

*Lee -- "The Boxer": He started out a bit pitchy too, but I actually like how he slowed the song down. It was a really nice change up of the arrangement. But I don't like how he chose to sing up on the down notes. It make it sound weird. I was kind of sad because this is probably my absolute favorite Simon & Garfunkle song, and he just really didn't do anything special with it. I was also shocked at how much the judges liked it.

*Tim -- "Better Days": I was completely bored with this performance. He didn't do anything special. There isn't even really a lot to say here. I like Tim, but I think he may be in trouble.

*Aaron -- "I Believe I Can Fly": I still really like him. Yes the arrangement was a bit all over the place, but he's got great vocal talent.

*Siobhan -- "When You Believe": Okay, I am really getting tired of this girl. She wasn't good, has too much vibrato, and is just getting downright irritating. I'd like to see her go home soon.

*Mike -- "Hero": So, again.....I like Mike, and I like his voice, but I really thought this was the wrong song choice for him. Another boring, forgettable performance, and he may be in trouble tonight too.

*Crystal -- "Praise the Lord": Alright, let's just end the competition now and give this girl the title. Week after week she blows me away and prooves that she is in a completely different class of artist than anyone in the game. She was inspired tonight....completely brilliant.

So there you have it......overall a disappointing night (aside from Crystal). I would like to see Siobhan go home, but I have feeling that Casey, Tim and Big Mike will be the bottom three with Casey or Tim going home.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Happy birthday to my new teenager

Thirteen years ago today I gave birth to my first child.

Knowing he was going to be a boy, blue was the dominating color in the nursery, new dresser and closets of his room.

The glider-rocker awaited many days and nights of bonding.

The crib was oblivious that it wouldn't see much action until 1.5 years later.
Our bed had no idea it was made for 3.

The recliner was about to embark on many midnight mother-son snuggles.

Our stove top would soon find out how long it took to boil bottle nipples.
The walls in our house were about to echo newborn cries.
Our hearts were ready to be filled with love we never knew existed.

----Today I'm am overwhelmed how fast the time has gone. I have a beautiful, super-smart, almost-as-tall-as-I-am son who I couldn't be more proud of. I look through scrapbooks of the memories of his first birthday, his first tooth, his first steps, his first day of school, his first best friend and weep a little.

A good healthy, love-filled weep.

Not only are his birthdays filled with presents, friends, slumber parties, cake, pizza, and all about him...

...they are a little about me too.

My memories, my aging, my growing up along side of him. While I'm sure he loves getting older, I struggle to stop time and just hold on to these moments a little longer. When we can snuggle on the couch, or share a laugh.

Because the next thirteen years will be here before you know it.
High school. College. Marriage?!?

I can't go there.

Not now.

For now, we celebrate his birthday with a good old-fashioned family dinner.

Next weekend, we'll eat pizza, cake, go mini-golfing and see a movie with his friends.

I love you my wonderful young man!

Friday, April 16, 2010


So, before I start, I have been informed that I neglected to add my performance song for this weeks American Idol post. So here it is. Sorry about that. Now, I know that this song was really made more famous by Frank Sinatra, but Elvis did it, and I love it. So there.

OK, now on to our regularly scheduled blog post.

Let me just get this out there......A Perfect Mother does not exist.


We all have good intentions when we see that little pink line on the pee test. We all believe we will always make the right decisions. Because we are Mothers.

Drink the soda while pregnant or not?
Epidural or natural?
Co-sleep or not?
Cloth diapers or disposable?

It seems so easy. Until we throw in real life and throw out fantasy world. Motherhood is hard. Frickin hard. Motherhood is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week without any breaks or pay cheques. Motherhood is a commitment. We don't realize how much of one until we are Mothers. The decisions never end.

Bottle or boob?
Homemade baby food or store bought?
Private or public school?
Stay at home or work and pay a babysitter?

By far, that has been the toughest decision I have made as a Mother. But the best one. Because the three of these children have for just about their entire lives been raised at home by parents who are committed to giving them the best possible life they can.

Even if they make some bad decisions along the way.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Unrefined Parenting

At the store recently, I saw a woman pick her son out of a shopping cart, then put his backside up to her nose as she inhaled deeply. I can’t tell you how many times I used to do that, along with grabbing the back of a diaper to judge whether there was a “nugget” inside. And, if I was in a hurry, I would just go ahead and stick my finger right in to feel if it was dirty.

Why is this type of behavior acceptable? Because being a parent gives you free reign to do gross things. When you start a family, you gain children, but you lose your dignity. The very nature of having kids is rather icky. It may be a miracle, but no matter how a baby comes out, it's not a pretty sight.

It's really the day to day parenting that can be rather offensive though. I lost track of the amount of times I’ve licked my thumb to get dirt off a face, and to calm fly-away hair. Not to mention the many instances I slurped formula off my wrist after testing its temperature. Either that, or I just went ahead and wiped it on my pants. I have come to the rescue as a bug-smasher and dead animal picker-upper. I have caught vomit in my bare hands, and cleaned projectile poop off a wall. It seems to me, being a Mom is much like joining a fraternity.

I have cut toenails which resembled talons, and I’ve pulled a hair out of my gagging son’s throat. I have picked boogers with a toothpick, and yanked ear wax out with tweezers. And once, on a playdate at the park, I let my friend's kid poop in a plastic bag propped up inside my Igloo cooler.

Let there be no doubt…kids are the reason bleach was invented.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Idol Chatter: The Top 9.....again!

OK, so thankfully the judges exercised their save last week and didn't send Big Mike home.....and I was THRILLED to hear that this was Elvis week. Also, we had a huge winter storm and had no power for about 10 hours so I apologize that this post is so EXTREMELY late.

On to the contestants:

*Crystal -- "Saved": I seriously could listen to her all night long. It was another fabulous performance. She's is just the reincarnation of Janis Joplin. You know, without all the strung out, drug induced singing.

*Andrew -- "Hound Dog": Ummmm.....well, --- I really am not sure what to think of this one. I like what he was trying to do with it, but it didnt' come together well at all. I was kind of confused and I agree with Simon that it was a really lazy performance.

*Tim -- "Can't Help Falling in Love": I actually liked this. I think he did really well, changing up the melody just enough as to not disrespect Elvis. I know a lot of people will probably not like what he did here. But I enjoyed it.

*Lee -- "Little Less Conversation": Well, hubby and I completely disagreed on this one. He thought it was great. I on the other hand, totally disagree. I'm not saying that Lee sounded bad, because he didn't. The guy definately has some vocal chops. I just really didn't like the arrangement of this one, and I think it turned me off the performance completely.

*Aaron -- "Blue Suede Shoes": I think that actually was one of my favorites of him this season. His voice never ceases to impress me. I know it was a bit cheezy, but I think the judges were way too critical of him. I thought itwas great.

*Siobhan -- "Suspicious Minds": Hated it......hated every second of it. It started out weird, the song is completely wrong for her voice, and the screaming is getting really annoying. Definately the worst performance of the night.

*Mike -- "In the Ghetto": This is another one that is hard for me. I love Mike's voice, but I completely hated this arrangement. And the ending was a stupid place to end at. But I still lvoe him.

*Katie -- "Let it Roll": Another terrible song choice. It was completely the wrong song for her voice. I totally agree with Simon. It was a really annoying song, done by a really annoying singer.

*Casey -- "Lawdy Miss Clawdy": I am liking Casey more each week. I just wish he could control the vibrato in his voice a little better, and make better song choices. This song was another safe, lazy performance.

So I think Andrew is for sure going home, and I think the other is a toss up between Katie and Siobhan. What do you think?

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Idol Chatter: The Top 9

Alright, well lets begin with the wardrobe malfunction of the week. Why are all the judges dressed nice and casually except Kara. She's in a slinky little black glitter dress, and....wait...what the......what are those? Is she wearing leggings?!? Why in the hell would she do that? She looks rediculous.

OK, on to the good stuff. I was soooo excited to hear it was Lennon/McCartney week. I love, love, love their music. Seriously, I don't think I can think of a single song of theirs that I don't love on some level. That being is what I would have sang if I were on the show this week.

*Aaron -- "The Long & Winding Road": Not my favorite out of him. Not sure if he is getting sick or nervous or something, but his heart just didn't seem to be in this one. But his voice is still fabulous.

*Katie -- "Let it Be": She should have been sitting at the piano singing this one. But at least she wasn't as boring as she has been in past weeks. The arrangement was really nice, and she actually sang it really well. She changed it up just enough, and it was her best performance of the season by far.

*Andrew -- "Can't Buy Me Love": I never figured a cool jazz arrangement would work with this sort of song, but I really liked it. It wasn't the best thing he could have done, and it was definately kind of cheezy, but it had my moving in my chair.

*Mike -- "Eleanore Rigby": I loved it.....aside from the opening line which I didn't like at all. But I completely loved the rest of it. Mike is amazing, I completely adore him.

*Crystal -- "Come Together": How do you not love this girl? She's a freaking phenom. Just amazing! I really think that she is poised to win the entire thing. I could listen to her sing all day.

*Tim -- "All my Lovin'": For the most part, I thought it was pretty good. But he definately could have done more with the song and made better use of the stage. He could be in trouble.

*Casey -- "Jealous Guy": Well, the guy has balls for picking a relatively obscure Lennon song. Not a lot of people are going to know that one and it could be a great asset or a really big mistake. He had a bit too much vibrato, but I still think he sounded fantastic. I'm liking him more every week.

*Siobhan -- "Across the Universe": I hated it....the whole thing. Her hair and outfit were weird, the song was waaay too slow. It lost me early on. I was completely bored. Worst performance of the night.

*Lee -- "Hey Jude": He started a bit too high, which I think hurt him throughout the song. He was flat, and the bagpiper was distracting. Lee's breath control was totally off. I love him, but I hated this performance.

So, there you have it. I think this weeks bottom three will be Siobhan, Aaron, and either Tim or Andrew. And with Tim spending so much time in the bottom three......I think he may be the one to get sent packing.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The Humbling

Once upon a time I had some lofty dreams…

I planned to travel the world,have a huge house,be a published (and moderately famous) author,

shop couture in France every so often,

always eat fabulously,

not to mention stay in such great physical shape I could be a secret ninja spy (if I so chose),

all with a great family.

You know, the usual.


I’d really love some quality bathroom time alone.

Easy Ways To Be Happy

In the monotony of daily life, chasing after happiness can seem like an endless, really big project. And sometimes, it is. But sometime...