Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Insomnia: My Arch Nemisis

After an eventful evening with the elders and some family members, I retired for the evening. Expecting my fatigue to have worked it's magic on such a tired and willing-to-succumb-to-slumber body, I gleefully jumped into bed and waited. And waited...and nothing.

Insomnia is a bitter enemy of mine. I can remember many a night spent fighting a losing battle against it. As a child, it is frustrating, but your inability to sleep does not carry horrible consequences the following day. The game changes as you age.

The older you are, typically, the greater your responsibilities. Add three children, and you are as good as done. Last night, I would doze, wake up drenched in sweat, glance at the clock try to settle back in and repeat. (On a side note, not looking forward to menopause...) My old nemesis Insomnia was back, and getting sweet revenge from the woman who could sleep all day long.

See, the thing about motherhood is that you are a closet superhero. Childless people stand in awe at what can be accomplished when there are bodies hanging onto to you in every direction. Other parents understand the intricacies of parenting multiple children, and often compare notes on the easiest ways to accomplish tasks in spite of the children. Parenting is simply the stuff of superheroes. Even when you can't, you must. Your needs take a back seat to the needs of your children. And somehow, in spite of whatever challenge you must overcome, you don't (generally) feel neglected.

It's what you signed up for. There ARE times when your needs MUST come first. You must replenish the source that fuels you, but it is amazing to find how much mileage you can get from refueling...I have often longed for Elast-A-Girl's super powers in trying to keep my boys together in a busy parking lot. But Insomnia is the kryptonite to this Superwoman. No amount of caffeine can counteract it's nightly victory.

Much like a good cover up stick, caffeine can hide some of the damage, but never really make up for the lack of rest. Alas, superheroes are separate from the rest of us. Most are not entangled with mere mortals. They do not have to worry about groceries, dinner, homework, sick children, overstressed spouses or their menstrual cycle. Most can function with very little going for them...that is of course, as long as their powers work.

Their biggest concern is saving the world. Piece of cake! Ever tried putting a teething baby to sleep? Yeah, I thought so...That being said, this Super Mom rolled out of bed this morning, determined not to have Insomnia have the last laugh. You see, I have three grumpy, sleepy children. The ones who demand so much of me and require me to have at least four hours of sleep. But even on the days that the sleep does not materialize; that the kryptonite is hanging around my neck, I have the ultimate power source: the love of my boys. Even Insomnia is powerless against that! And in this super-parents headquarter, everyone is past teething...

Sunday, October 24, 2010

My Love/Hate Relationship with The Amazing Race

The Amazing Race! The reality TV Show where dynamic teams of two (the quirkier, more boisterous, cliche ridden the better) are sent on a life changing race around the world!

Why do I love this show? Courtesy of CBS, and from the comfort of my own couch you are ushered to the exotic locale of your dreams and many places you would not want to visit in your darkest nightmare.

You don't pay for any of it and have thrilling adventures along the way! Could it get any better then that! Yes! Because as you travel your relationship with your love one either crumbles (and the inevitable test you were doing is abruptly over) or strengthens harder then concrete! Oh...the voyeur in me LOVES to have this sneak peak into how other people communicate, what do they think is a good relationship, and how do they handle the difficult situations.

It's not long before the hubby and I are playing along! Ohhh...who has the nerves of steal? I'll take this one. Why? Not because I'm the bravest, but because I know somewhere alone the line there is going to be that exotic eating thing and my weak stomach is not going anywhere near that one. That's all you baby!

The Amazing Race transports you out of your living room...away from the doldrums of daily life and out into the world. It is simply the best hour on TV.

So why do I hate the Amazing Race? Jealousy.

Do you know how long it is going to be before I have a chance to see even 1 or 2 of those incredible places? Every week you spark the lusty traveller in me only to have cold reality slapped back in my face as the credits start to roll.

Another realization. I am not 22 anymore! When this show started airing I pictured myself as one of the young newlywed couples ready to tackle the world. One of the cute ones in pretty good shape and matching outfits, that could handle the physical challenges with grace and ease and even use my looks to my advantage. Tonight I realized that is no longer who I would be!

Who would we be now? The happy middle age couple..married for more then 10 years with 3 kids. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I would have to get my butt on a treadmill in order to spare my self the embarassement of not being able to climb up a hill, and start some kind of skincare regime before I could let this face be seen on camera without any make-up! Oh and getting by one my looks? A girl can dream? LOL

But you know why I hate the Amazing Race the most? Canadians need not apply! C'mon! We must be a huge part of the viewership! Just because we start out from Vancouver, Canada does not mean we would not be great competitors and fun to watch, eh? (see I could be a cliche) Plus I know I would absolutely be cheering each and every week for my fellow Canadian!

CBS...I'll never stop watching...but give us a crack at the dream!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

How to Make the World a Better Place

I’m sure we all wish there was world peace, no famine, cures for the worst of diseases. You know, that pageant queen answers. The big wishes are obvious and universal. Today I’m just after a few subtle changes to the way the world works. That’s all I’m asking for. Ya know, to make my life easier, cause it’s all about me.

I wish Tim Hortons delivered. I would have a standing mint hot smoothie order.

I wish cars were bendy. Wouldn’t it be easier to park? Then I could squeeze my giant van anywhere!

I wish homework was banned on weekends. Just sayin.

I wish toilets were self cleaning.

I wish new boots were already broken in when you bought them. Feet hurty.

I wish cell phones bounced.

That is all. For today anyway.

What little things would you wish for?

Sunday, October 10, 2010

I Got Told

My middle son walked into my room after dressing for church; he was wearing the same dress shirt he's worn the last three Sundays.

"Hey, Max, why don't you wear something different?" I suggested.

"Why?" he asked. "This one is my favorite, and it's clean."

"Well," I explained, "you have several handsome shirts, but people are going to think that's the only one you own."

He looked at me squarely and did not miss a beat. "Mom, what people think doesn't matter nearly as much as what I know to be true."

My first thought: Well, I'll be darned. The boy has been listening after all.

My second thought: Well, I'll be darned. I just got a smack-down from a ten year old.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Ode to Fall

I love's my favorite time of year. Besides my birthday and anniversary, here are my favorite things about fall.

The smell of chimney smoke

Open windows

The fashion

The colors of changing leaves

Herbal tea and apple cider



Sunday, October 3, 2010

If I Were.....

If I were a month, I'd be October.
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Saturday.
If I were a time of day, I’d be 4 pm.
If I were a planet, I’d be Venus.
If I were a sea animal, I’d be a dolphin.
If I were a direction, I’d be southwest.
If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a bed.
If I were a liquid, I’d be an ice cold Pepsi.
If I were a gemstone, I’d be a sapphire.
If I were a tree, I’d be a Redwood.
If I were a tool, I’d be a screwdriver.
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be clear skies and a cool breeze.
If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a piano.
If I were a color, I’d be purple.
If I were an emotion, I’d be content.
If I were a mythical creature, I'd be a gryphon.
If I were a fruit, I’d be a raspberry.
If I were a sound, I’d be laughter.
If I were a car, I’d be a cobolt blue BMW Roadster.
If I were a food, I’d be pasta.
If I were a place, I’d be home.
If I were a material, I’d be satin.
If I were a taste, I’d be mint chocolate.
If I were a scent, I’d be fresh cut grass.
If I were an object, I’d be a camera.
If I were a body part, I’d be a muscular bicep.
If I were a facial expression, I’d be a sarcastic one.
If I were a song, I’d be The Winner Takes it All by Abba.
If I were a pair of shoes, I'd be platform heels.
If I were a flower, I'd be a lilly.

What would you be?

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