Monday, January 21, 2008

Loud Noises

This is what I think about people:

People thrive on chaos. As much as they claim to despise it. As much as they claim to hate it, and they try to avoid it at all costs....they frigging thrive on it. They enjoy it. They secretly wish for more. I know they do. I know I do.

I don't claim to hate it, or despise it, or even try to avoid it. I love it. I welcome it. The more chaotic my home is, the better I seem to function. I'm not talking wild crazy, unadulterated chaos that people get hurt in, I'm just talking about loud, noisy, crazy kids, clutter, phones ringing off the hook, kids banging on the front door, normal stuff like that.

If I came home to a completely quiet and orderly house everyday, Id have to check my pulse. I'd be in Hell for sure.

Randall and Ryker were 'starving', so they asked for Tortillas. Yes, everyone in the world knows that tortillas will stave off any hunger pains. They are 'that' filling. Ryker dropped his on the floor, Randall laughed at him. Ryker then snatched Randall's tortilla and smacked him in the head with it. Randall stopped laughing. Randall then lectured Ryker on how that was not good manners to smack someone with their own tortilla. I guess you should use your own? Yes, when attacking someone with a tortilla, one should most definitely use theirs, and no one else's. They've since moved on from tortilla smacking, to watching TV. All is forgiven and forgotten about the spat while ago. Of course, until the next hunger pain strikes and they ask for another tortilla. Maybe next time I'll hand them each one, and a helmet to go with it.

I have one kid who's a little more subdued. He never makes any noise to contribute to the chaos factor at our house, so that's not really a valid point. He never adds to the noise, except when he's aggravating someone else. They scream quite loudly. So, maybe in a round about way he does contribute. He plays Guitar Hero most of his spare time. He tries to get me to play. I finally relent and play. I've never really played the XBox. I have no clue how to work the guitar. The colorful control sticks, the whammy bar, the star power, all that crap. Confusion at it's best. So, he gives me the run down. Match your fingers on the guitar color pads to the colors on the screen. Whammy bar makes funky sounds to your music. So we decide to play head to head. He shows me which side of the screen is my guitar. The audience is booing really loudly. At which point the game stops itself and tells me "You Suck". Apparently Andrew has beat me. I whine how unfair that is. He says that is the point of the game. No it isn't. The point of this game is to teach me how to play, not murder me. He promises not to do it again. So we start another song, I fumble around, he bets me and I "suck" again.

He grins.

I smack him.

He makes some whooping noise and flicks his fingers in my face.

I tell him I'm never playing Guitar Hero again with him. He is a bully, a cheater! A murderer!

He laughs and says he'll sucker me again.

And, he probably will.

Kids crack me up and kill me at the same time.

My kids, especially since there are three of them and they are all boys, are louder than your average household full of kids. I dont mind my kids hanging out making noise. I dont mind their friends, for the most part. Of course, some of them get on my nerves, but that's anywhere. They are funny, silly, stupid at times, goofy, chicken, boring, and most importantly, loud. They fit right in with me. Hopefully when all is said and done, Ive passed on a few more of my traits than just the loud factor.

They are so hilarious. So annoying. Yes, I can admit my kids are annoying. It's part of what makes me tick. I can call them brats, and whine about them to my friends, yet at the end of the day, those loud, annoying little pains in my ass are what make my world go round.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

You know what grinds my gears?????

OK, I realize that at 31 I should not be so cynical and jaded about people and stuff.....but lately I've turned into a cranky old women. So, for your reading pleasure, here are a list of things that grind my gears.

1. Employees of stores who stand right outside to doors to light up on their smoke breaks... ensuring that my children and I get plently of second hand smoke immediately upon leaving the store. Never mind their sectioned off/benched area to the side. Apparently those 20 steps are too far away. Or there are the employees in stores who stand in a group chatting, forcing customers to go over and interrupt their conversation in order to get service. ( I have been known to go up and ask fully uniformed employees 'Excuse me are you working today')

2. Impatient people who press the crosswalk button overandoverandoverandover while waiting for the light to change. News flash moron! All you need to do is press it once and the funky computermathingamajig tells the light to switch to "crossing" when the light changes. It doesn't speed it up with each and every press and BEEEEEEP of the button.

3. The self centered little teenagers at the local high school who don't give a flying fig that anyone else is on the sidewalks, at the next table in a restaurant, standing in line at the movie theatre next to them or anywhere else. They proceed to fling swear words at an alarming rate, yet unsurprisingly bland usage in their regular banter (methinks they could use a thesaurus... not that they'd know what to do with one). I can't believe that in my 30's I'm even going to type this... but in my day, as much of a snot nosed brat that I was, I was still respectful of my language around others.

4. The amount of clueless adults, never mind teens, who don't give a darn about our city anymore! Every day I see people tossing gargage (sometimes full drinks) into the greenery at the train station, in the park, outside the stores and restaurants. There is a garbage can not 5 feet away, yet it's so much cooler to just toss your crap on the ground!! Then there are the a-holes who think that our city is their own personal urinal.

5. The lack of basic manners that people do not have. NO please, thank you, excuse me, pardon me, etc. Spitting on the ground. Gross. Or even worse blowing snot out of your nose onto the sidewalk. Ick. General disrespect for public property. I was sitting in front of the Wal-Mart at Christmas and these three kids about 13 or 14 tipped the outside garbage can over right in front of the store. I turned to my kids and told them if I ever saw them doing something like that I would kick their asses. But the good boys that they are they got out of the van and put it right side and picked up the garbage.

6. Kids/teens that just mosey across the streets when and where they please. Yeah, don't use the cross walk you're too important to obey the law. And God forbid you should honk at them to get their attention. If you do that....well....refer to #3 on my list here.

7. Parents who loudly scream at, threaten, demean, discipline or in any other way degrade their children in public. It makes me so sad for those little babies. if this is how the parents act in public, I can only imagine what goes on behind closed doors.

8. People who are in front of you in the grocery line, and decide to continue shopping after they have all there stuff on the belt. I mean I understand when you forget on thing, and you run back real fast to go get it, but don't put all your stuff on the belt, then walk off, be gone for another 5-10 minutes while you go back and fill another shopping cart. If you need that much stuff, get the heck out of the line, and finish your shoppong instead of holding up the line..and then not even apologize to the people in the line or the cashier, who by the way was recieving death glares because it's not like she could help someone else..because ALL YOUR STUFF WAS ON THE BELT, AND NO ONE ELSE CAN PUT THEIR STUFF UP THERE!!!

OK, I think you get the point, and I am sure that I could have an entire month worth of blogs dedicated to this, but here's my bottom line: Respect others and the world around you. Realize that we are all human beings and we are all the same. Everyone is entitled to love and be loved. So, if you want to be treated well, offer everyone else that same courtesy. (I will now get off my soapbox)

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