I try to keep this little corner of the blogosphere a positive, happy place, and try to keep things light and uplifting.
Well, 2021 has kind of put a kibosh on that plan.....as may be evident in my lack of posting anything here in over 6 months. It kind of all started when we suddenly and unexpectedly lost my younger brother in February (that will be an entire other post in and of itself).....and thanks to the ravages that are COVID-19, it has just gotten worse from there. In the past few months I've lost family, friends, and coworkers to this crazy virus. I've seen families literally be pulled apart at the seams by loss and tragedy, including my own.
And the last few days, I’ve wondered – how do you go on after that? After you see something so devastating. After you see people you love broken, split right in two. How do you get to a place where you see life as good when you just saw how fast it can be over?
Hell if I know.
All I know is this: You can. And you have to.
You can. Even when it really, really hurts. You are strong, even when it feels like you are two seconds away from breaking. You are able, even when you feel helpless. You are a warrior, even when you feel your absolute weakest. And most importantly: It’s okay to believe these things even when you don’t feel them.
The phrase, life has ups and downs doesn’t seem fitting enough. More like, life has magical mountaintops and valleys in the very pit of Hell. And you don’t have to understand them to keep going. You don’t even have to have a positive outlook to keep going. There are some things a positive outlook just doesn’t exist for.
I don’t think it’s always about finding hope and joy and motivation. Those things are so wonderful, but you don’t always have to find them. Sometimes, you just have to be willing to be open to looking for them.
So if you’re a little down lately, I want to say that I see you and I feel where you’re at. If you’re a lot down lately, I see you and I feel where you’re at. If it feels like you’re immersed in total darkness, like the lights are never, ever going to come back on…I see you and I feel where you’re at.
It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to hurt. It’s okay to not see a bright side anywhere in sight. Trust me, some things have no bright side.
So our pep talk today isn’t the happiest I’ve ever written. It’s certainly not about being happy and getting up and doing all of the things.
Today, it’s just a little reminder that you’re not alone. We all go through these seriously tough things.
It’s okay to be terrified of the dark and at the same time have no idea how you’ll ever turn a light on.
Today’s pep talk is this: Sit in the dark for however long you need to. Just please, please don’t lose sight that one day, the light will shine in again.
It will.
