Sunday, January 31, 2010

Sundays with the Stars

Ben Affleck may be off the wagon. He reportedly knocked a few drinks back with Tommy Lee Jones at an after party for their new movie, The Company Men. I hope this isn't true, Ben. We don't need another Mel Gibson.




Diddy's son turned 16 last week. For his birthday, Diddy bought him a $360,000 car. No offense, Diddy, but this makes you look like an asshole.







After visiting Tiger Woods in sex rehab, Elin Woods is considering calling off her divorce. What kind of magical sex rehab is this? You cheat on your wife repeatedly, don't use protection and get caught. Somehow, your wife still wants you back. Oh, right... you're stinking rich.





Are Brad and Angie breaking up? Their rep says no. Multiple news outlets say yes.






According to Us Weekly, Jessica Simpson farted in a room full of executives recently. If there's one thing Jessica's good for, it's a laugh.



James Cameron has officially topped James Cameron. Avatar has beat out Titanic as the highest grossing film of all time. Have you seen it? It's a fantastic movie.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Things You May Not Know

OK, so with sweet little momma Emily laid up in the hospital until her twins can safely be born, I've decided to try and write a new blog post every day so that she has something new to read each day. I'm a boredom killer. LOL.

So, I thought up a few things to tell you that you possibly don't know about me.




I can't sew


or dance


or bake







I've never seen the movie "Office Space"






or "Casablanca"




or any of "The Godfather" series






I don't think The Office



or Seinfeld are funny


I've never watched an episode of Big Brother



or The Bachelor

Friday, January 29, 2010

Bravo!

I sat on the seventh row of a darkened theater and watched my boy, my oldest boy, that boy who emerged from me 12 years ago and made me a mother. I watched in him in awe, as he pulled from reserves I did not know he had, to do something I did not know he could do. He did it with abandon and confidence and joy, and I watched him, reluctant tears flowing down my cheeks ("Do not cry, do not cry," I told myself, "12-year-old boys do not like it when their mothers cry").

But I did cry, sitting there mercifully cloaked in the dark, and I was overcome with the idea that he's not mine anymore. Not really, not the way he was when he fit in the crook of my arm. Every day he is stepping further down this road to being entirely his own person, doing things I did not teach him, excelling in things I cannot do. It is astounding.

At the end, when the crowd roared, I shouted along with them: "Bravo! Bravo!" The words jumped out of me, barreling awkwardly past the lump in my throat.

But in my heart, the words were quieter: Bravo, my son, they whispered. Bravo to you for finding what you love, and for doing it well. Bravo to you for stepping gradually but surely away from your dad and me, making your own way in this world, standing bravely on the edge of what's ahead and jumpingin headlong.

Part of me wanted to whisper these thoughts to him, and to remind him that as he runs forward, we'll still be here to catch him when he falls. For surely, someday, he will fall, and certainly, someday, we will catch him.

But this was not the night for such words. There was no falling last night. There was no need for a safety net or a back-up plan. It was a night for his star to shine so brightly that it cast light on the path in front of him. He knows just where he's going now.

It's a funny thing, how a kid can grow up light years in just one evening.

Bravo, my boy

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Idol Chatter -- Dallas Auditions

OK, I'll never admit this to the husband, but tonight's auditions actually made me miss Texas a l'il bit. Especially when I'm here surrounded by ass chapping snow.

Also, about tonights guest judge, let me just say YAY DOOGIE. Such a good looking guy. *Sigh* Too bad he's gay.

On to the contestants:

*Julie sucks as bad as she did 9 years ago. Her diction is creepy. And yes, completely annoying. Dude, breath control had nothing to do with it.

*Big Lloyd -- loved his Stevie Wonder audition. His song was a little slow for me, but I loved his voice.

(OK -- let me sidetrack for a minute. In my last post, Emily made a comment about how annoying the judges were when they said things like "a million percent yes" or "a hundred and ten" or....well, basically anything higher than a hundred. Let me just say right now, that I could not agree more. It is TOTALLY irritating.)

*Emily -- the chick that sang her original song. She was FABULOUS. Glad she made it. I think Simon was WAY off. She sounds as good as a lot of the CURRENT country singers out there today.

*Dexter -- first of all, quit winking; it's creepy. Secondly, you can't sing worth a darn. You sound constipated.

(OK -- another side note. I would like to officially nominate Neil Patrick Harris as Simon's permanent replacement as full time judge in the following seasons. He's awesome)

*Erica (the chick from Barney) -- she was alright. Not a knockout vocal, but she's got fantastic stage presence.

*Dave (the guy with Tourette's) -- He sounded really good. I was suprised and impressed.

*Todrick (the guy who sang with Fantasia) -- His original song was great. I loved every second of his audition. Great vocals.

*Maegan (with the cute little brother) -- She had a bit too much vibrato and she sang the song too slow. I would have actually said ''no'' to her if I'd been a judge.

(OK -- does Joe Jonas know how to say anything other than "yeah". The guy is a tool. Why is he here??)

*Vanessa (the girl dressed like a box of crayola threw up on her) -- Dude, "At Last" this audition is over. She was painful to listen to.

*Christina (the Lukemia survivor) -- Meh. I really didn't like this at all. She was boring, too slow, and really didn't have any presence. She'll likely not make it past Hollywood.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Idol Chatter -- L.A. Auditions


OK, so here we go again. Let's get right to it, because I'm really not in the mood to discuss Avril Lavigne's rediculous outfit.


*The Geeky Genius -- Hey, Look! It's a young, nerdy Meatloaf. Ah ha ha ha!! And he's singing a Meatloaf song. Ironic! His voice has too much vibrato, and he has not got much talent at all. For a minute there, I thought he was going to be another one led out in handcuffs. Weirdo!


*The pastor guy -- I loved the rock edge to his voice. I think Avril Lavigne was being annoying.


(OK -- and is anyone else annoyed with how Randy keeps calling Simon "Sime" this season? It sounds stupid)


*Damien -- Bwah ha ha ha!!! 'Nuff said. Hey dude, the Righteous Brothers called. They want to kick your ass.


*Mary -- the Pat Benetar look-a-like (by the way, what is with everyone trying to dress and look like the person they're singing? Don't they know the "make it your own" mentality?) Anyway, this chick was just okay for me. I didn't think she was a super singer.


*A.J. -- the Adam Lambert wannabe. He was awful. There is no way that Adam Lambert actually heard this guy and told him he was good. Again, Avril Lavigne was a bitch. But, yeah.....the guy was just plain horrible.


*Austin -- the Billy Idol wannabe....okay and yeah, I guess I can agree with the Mick Jaggar thing too. Either way, the guy was a bit of a wacko. And a horrible singer.


*Andrew Garcia -- He's got quite a different sound. I think I kinda liked it. I'll have to hear him in different genre's before I completely give him a thumbs up, though. But, for now, I am impressed.


*Tasha -- the female minister. She was pretty good too. Again, I want to here different genres for her. But I like it so far.


*Jason -- "I Touch Myself" ?!?! Really?!?! Eeewwwwww!!!!! Creepy!!!!! But I LOVED Katy Perry's comeback. And I loved Ryan's reaction to being hit on by a dude.


*Chris -- the foster kid. He had me in tears. Seriously, gave me goosebumps. Definately my favorite of the night.


So that's my thoughts, people. Discuss.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Sunday with the Stars

If you know me, you know I love celebrities. I love the gossip. I love the clothes. I love the drama. I love the Hollywood lifestyle. Do I believe everything I read? No. Do I still read it anyway? Yes.

I've decided to compile a weekly recap of what's happening in Tinseltown. With pictures! I'll put one together every Sunday. I know this week I'm starting a day late, but deal with it, mkay! I'm a very busy woman.

This weeks going to be titled "Mugshots": Because its funny to see celebs at their worst.





Old School

*Jane Fonda - arrested for assault & battery after kicking a cop (1970) *Tim Allen - served 2.5 years for dealing cocaine (1979) *Al Pacino - arrested for carrying a concealed weapon (1961)




How Did I Not Know About This

*Donnie Wahlberg - arrested on suspicion of arson (1991)


No, Not Him

*Mel Gibson - arrested for DUI, but more well known for his anti-Semitic rant *Robert Downey Jr. - arrested for cocaine and methamphetamine possession


The Creepy

*Paul Reubens aka Pee-Wee Herman - arrested for indecent exposure in an adult movie theatre *Andy Dick - arrested for possession of marijuana and sexual battery



/<>


The Blondes

*Paris Hilton - arrested for DUI and subsequent parole violations *Lindsay Lohan - arrested for DUI and cocaine possession *Mischa Barton - arrested for DUI *Heather Locklear - arrested for DUI


The Brunettes

*Nicole Richie - arrested for DUI after driving on the wrong side of the road *Michelle Rodriguez - arrested for multiple DUIs and a hit-and-run *Heidi Fleiss - arrested for tax evasion in connection with her prostitution ring and illegal use of prescription drugs *Yasmine Bleeth - arrested for cocaine possession


The Hardcore

*Snoop Dogg - arrested for possession of a deadly weapon *DMX - arrested for impersonating an officer, drug possession and cruelty to animals *Gary Dourdan - arrested for possession of heroin, cocaine and ecstacy *Lil Wayne - arrested for possession of marijuana, cocaine and ecstacy




The Old

*James Brown - arrested for domestic violence *Phil Specter - currently serving 19 years for murder *Rip Torn - arrested for DUI *George Clinton - arrested after telling a police officer he had cocaine on him



Laugh Out Loud

*Hugh Grant & Divine Brown - a John & his prostitute (self-explanatory) *Kid Rock - arrested for fighting at a Waffle House *Matthew McConaughey - arrested for possession of marijuana after police found him playing the bongo drums in the nude *Ryan & Redmond O'Neal - father & son arrested for drug possession

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Parenting Secrets That We Like To Keep Secret

Did you ever notice how many things no one tells you about parenting before you have kids? I'm not talking about how you'll never sleep again. Plenty of people told me that. No, I mean the little things. For instance, no one ever told me

......that I would keep empty water bottles in my car for my son to pee in when we're on the road

.... that my longest fingernail would become the "booger-picker-outer"

...that I would wipe snot off my son's face with a leaf

....that kids like to hide things around the house and you won't find them for a long, long time. Things like sippy cups full of milk, dirty underwear, and sandwiches

....that it's necessary to cheat at Chutes and Ladders, or else the game goes on forever

....that poop becomes hard and crusty when removed from a diaper and smeared onto a coffee table

....that I would actually say things like, "You're not allowed to stick your finger in the dog's butt" or "You can't drink water out of the toilet"

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Idol Chatter -- Orlando Auditions



OK, first off.....who the heck is this guest judge? I don't think I know her. Oh, yeah, she did a guest spot on Glee. I didn't like her character. Still really have no idea who she is or what qualifies her to judge this show other than being Kara's BFF.

*Holy moly. This show just keeps getting crazier. What's up with the guy who has all the loose change on his face?!? Other than being a freak, and a bit shouty, the poor guy actually sounded like he had some potential. Too bad he's a weirdo.

(Anyone else finding Kara's cleavage distracting and annoying tonight?)

*Seth (the guy with the autistic son) -- love, love, love his voice. Fantastic and flawless; I thought he had a very raw, pure sound.

*Jermaine (sang "Smile" --Ryker's favorite song) It was really well done, I liked it a lot. He also had a really nice tone to his voice.

*Shelby (frozen face girl) --OK, she was a mediocre singer and she forgot her lyrics. No one should EVER make it through if they blow the lyrics. Seriously. I didn't really like her voice, don't think she should have made it through, and don't think she'll get past Hollywood week.

*Jay (the beat boxer) -- I thought that he completely sucked. I don't know.....I didn't care for it. When he sang normally, he was A LOT better. I think I'll like him if he doesn't try to pull a Blake Lewis and beat box through the season. Just sing buddy.....trust me.

*Cornelius (split pants) -- I dont' think he was all that good....and definately not deserving of a ticket to Hollywood.

*The sisters -- the one who sang "Hit the Road Jack" was fabulous. The other one sucked. I didn't like her voice at all. Totally agree with Simon. Not sure either of them will make it through Hollywood, but the first sister has the better chance.

*Jarrod (Amazing Grace) -- this is what it would sound like if Pauly Shore took up a singing career. Absolutely horrible. I t hink he really was trippin'.....on something. Hopefully he is headed for a padded room.

*Matt (the jailbird) -- I thought he made a poor song choice. It was too slow and boring, and I think his voice was just OK. I didn't think it was "brilliant" as Simon said. But he was pretty impressive on the high notes.

So, I think tonight I LOVED Seth and Jermaine. I guess we'll have to see what happens in Hollywood.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Idol Chatter -- Chicago Auditions


OK, well tonight started with some mixed feelings about the guest judge. While I don't doubt Shania Twain or her ability as an artist, I wasn't sure I was going to like her as a guest judge. I've always found her to be rather snooty. But in all honesty, I didn't really get much of anything from her tonight. In reality, she may as well have not even been there.
And also, didn't we already have a contestant confuse shows last year, claiming that they were "definately going to be America's Next Top Model -- OOPS -- I mean, American Idol".
OK, lets get down to business:
*First chick (with the divorcing parents) was pretty good. I liked her.
*Big girl with the boobs.....that chick was a freak. She probably actually had some talent, but she was a little goofy.
*Charity (sang "Summertime") had a very unique voice and I liked it A LOT. I think she'll be a funky addition to the show. Kind of like that chick who sang Janis Joplin all the time a couple of seasons ago.....but this girl at least seems like she has a personality.
*Angel Martens --the girl can sing...but she seems to be cursed when it comes to Hollywood week. Hopefully this will be her year.
*Curly -- I think he was singing some notes that only dogs could hear (and, ha ha, Simon just stole my joke)
*The girl who sang "I will always love you" (the one who was getting pitch advice from the judges) ... that was just wrong. Why would her family encourage her to humiliate herself like that?!?
*Weirdo in the army who sang Tiny Tim -- what a freakin' whackjob. "Tiptoe through the Tulips".....and straight into a mental institution, buddy.
*Harold --Dude.....the fact that you can't sing has nothing to do with allergies buddy.
*John Park (the Asian guy whom Shania flirted with), wasn't too bad, but I found him to be a bit nasally.
OK, this is where I take a break in the show to ask the following question: Are Kara's eyes freaking anyone else out? She looks like a cross between a cat and a bug eyed alien. I don't know what it is, but her eyes were giving me the heebie jeebies tonight.
*Asthma girl -- I think Simon was a little rough on her. I didn't think she was bad at all, and she was certainly deserving of Hollywood week.
Anyway, that's about all that stood out for me tonight. It's kind of shocking that a city packed with talent like Chigago could only put out 13 people to Hollywood week. So, what were your thoughts? Still no stand out favorites for me just yet, but I am looking forward to hearing Charity in some other genre's of music, just to see if that funky voice still sounds good.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

I'm Beautiful in His Eyes

Yesterday, my son climbed on my lap, held my face in his hands and said, “You are the most beautiful momma in the entire, entire, entire world. " This is a pretty typical compliment, and is probably said a million times a day by my youngest son. But, it is always remarkable because I don’t feel pretty much these days. Granted, there was a time when I looked all right. But, what once was gangly is now pudgy, what was firm is now wrinkled, what was straight is now slouched, and what was smooth is now scarred.

I work out, I take my vitamins, I try to eat right, I’ve even been sleeping better, but I will never have what I once did. I’m at an age where a minute in the sun seems to add a new wrinkle, and if a dermatologist ever got ahold of me, she would chops moles off like she was a butcher…always leaving mangled marks along the way. I rarely feel comfortable leaving the house without make-up, and more often than not, I’ll don a hat and sunglasses before picking up the kids from school. My hair never looks quite right, and clothes don’t fit like they used to. My bra deserves overtime pay for all the work it has to do. I’m a Mom, I’m nearing 40, I don’t have the time or energy it takes to always make myself look attractive.

But, in the eyes of my five year old, I’m beautiful…and that’s good enough for me.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Fabulous News About My Butt

Seriously, this is just so exciting.

Turns out, I DON'T have to work out 6 days a week, have a personal trainer, and deny myself sugar and carbs.

I just have to wear different SNEAKERS.


OK. Who wants brownies.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Idol Chatter -- Atlanta Auditions


I have high hopes for the Atlanta Auditions.....in part because there were a billion people there. The odds are that a couple hundred of them have to be good, right?!?


*Sigh....so much for my high hopes. The very first guy -- WTF was that? That dude was bizarre. Simon was completely ignorant from the start with this guy. He probably didn't deserve it, but still.....completely rediculous.


*The chick that sang the Titanic song was...well....meh. I didn't think she was fabulous. She won't last through Hollywood week.


*Jermaine, the guy who sang "What if God was One of Us"....I thought that he was great -- it was a really neat rendition of the song.


*The chick that sang "Love is a Battlefield" was B-A-D. It was awful. Seriously. That didn't work for me at all.


*The country girl from the country -- she reminds me a lot of Kelly Pickler. She doesnt' have the best of voices, but she was just a sweetheart.


*The guy who sang Garth Brooks was just awful. Poor guy -- he seemed so sweet and simple. But man, he sure couldn't sing.


*Guitar Girl -- she doesn't have much of a voice. I didn't think it was good at all. Boo to the judges. Mary J. Blige was the only person with the balls enough to tell the truth.


*Mallory -- didn't have the gravel in her voice like Joplin, but I really liked her vocals.


*"Skii Bo Ski" he's a bit odd and I was not sure about him, but his vocals were great. I think Simon was completely wrong about him and was reacting to the guys "character" instead of his vocals.


*The BFFs -- brunette sucked but the blong was pretty awesome. And the brunette seemed pretty bitter at the end, didn't she? She hardly made eye contact with the other girl, her body language was turned away, and the hugs seemed forced.


*The cop -- WOW! He was AWESOME!


*Dude who sang the Seal song -- Um......NO! What a psycho!! And boy did his opinion of Mary J sure changed after she told him no.


*The old general who sang about pants on the ground was AWESOME!!!!! I have not laughed out loud that much in a long, long time.


So, after the first week of auditions, I have to admit that I don't see a stand out front running favorite yet. There are a few that show promise though. I think this is shaping up to be a remarkable season.

Here we go again......IDOL CHATTER -- Boston Auditions


OK, loyal readers. Welcome to another season of American Idol.....and Idol Chatter. The blog posts where I essentially spout off my personal opinions about all things American Idol. This segment has been a big hit in the past, and so I have decided to bring it back.


*So, let's begin with last nights audition show from Boston. And what a way to start off a show. That first chick was really.....well.....yeah, bizarre was the word for it. The kids got me that American Idol video game for Christmas.....but now I'm scared to use it. =p


*Maddie (the girl with the Downs Syndrome brothers) was really good. And what a sweet story.


*The big Italian guy: I liked him A LOT. I'm glad he made it through.


OK, on a side note, what the heck is with Randy's watch?!? Did anyone else notice that thing? I looked like something my 5 yr old would wear.


*I loved the two guys who were harmonizing out in the green room. I thought they were both fabulous.


*The a-hole in the glasses.....that guy was a tool. Seriously! His voice was actually good in a way, but he kind of sounded like Christopher Walken when he was singing.


*The chick that sang the Alecia Keys song was pretty good -- but I don't think she was as fabulous as the judges told her she was.


*WHOA! Dude who had the broken wrists was my "Susan Boyle" of the day. Who would have thought that a guy who looked like that would sound as good as he did. I certainly didnt' expect it, and I agree with Randy that they guy put out a sort of Jim Morrison vibe.


*The guy who sang "Yesterday" was fabulous. And he has a beautiful smile. I liked him A LOT! I don't get why Simon left in the middle of the vote. He obviously liked the kid because he was the first one to give him a "yes". Maybe I missed something between him and another judge or something. I don't know. Weird.


*The girl who sang "At Last" was phenomenal for only being 16.


*The dude who sang "God Blessed the Broken Road" had a really nice voice. The judges sure teased the poor guy, but I"m glad he got through.


*The guy that had cancer (I'm pretty sure he's LDS) was FAN FREAKIN TASTIC. Serioulsy gave me goosebumps.....and another guy with a gorgeous smile.


*"Janet with a beard"......yeah, that guy was creepy from the minute he walked in.


*Bosa (the Nigerian guy) had a lovely voice, but I agree with Simon when he says it was a bit of a boring audition. It will be interesting to see how he does in Hollywood with other genres of music.


*The last girl....the one who sang "Blue Skies" -- I don't know what it is, but something about her voice annoyed me. I'm not sure if she was too shouty or what, but it definately was NOT the best audition I had seen, and I disagree with how much the judges fawned over her.


AND FINALLY: I actually really enjoyed Victoria Beckham as a guest judge. She could have filled in full time in Paula's place no problem. She was great. (Yeah, I'm still not sure I'm thrilled about Ellen.....we'll have to see).


Anyway, that's it for today. Let me know what you think. Did you agree with me? Do you have any early favorites from Boston? Tune in later tomorrow when I recap the Atlanta Auditions.

Monday, January 11, 2010

See what happens when I try to build memories for my children?!?

Are any of you familiar with the sweet book “I Love You Forever”? I hope so. Because I think only those who know this book will understand the depths of this tragic post.


I love this book. I have all these rainbow and unicorn dreams that my sons will grow up with beautiful memories of me reading this book to them. And then one day, they will read it to their kids. And their kids will read it to their kids. And WON’T LIFE BE GRAND?! All because of this book.

If you don’t know about it, it’s about a mother and son going through different stages of life together and the one thing she always tells her son (um, on every singe page of the book) is:
“I’ll love you forever. I’ll like you for always. As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.”
Only I never get that far.

It’s more like “I l-l-l-ove you for--WAHHHHHHHHHH! SOMEONE PASS MOMMY THE TISSUES!”

My mascara is running down my face, my boys are looking at me like I’m some sort of freak show, and I’m blubbering “YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND! I GAVE BIRTH TO YOU! And one day, I’m going to be old and you are going to be older and I’m going to drive to your house and put a ladder up to your window just like that mommy did and—what? No, that’s not scary. It’ll be MOMMY! At your window! Checking on you! See, I’ll always be here for you and--What? Will I fall off the ladder? No, I’ll be real safe and--OH JUST FORGET IT!”

(What? Ok, so the book brings out some major emotions in me, alright?!)

The other night, I go to read it to the boys at bedtime. We get about halfway through and Ryker starts saying “WAIT. You skipped a part.”

“What? You know I would never skip a part in this book.”

“Yeah. You did. The ba, ba, ba part.”

“What?”

“The ba, ba, ba part.”

“What is the ba, ba, ba part?”

“Daddy always says ‘baaaaa, baaaa, ba’.”

It was then that I heard my husband unsuccessfully trying to stifle his laughter in the other room. And I suddenly put everything together:

SON OF A.............

ba, ba, ba = blah, blah, blah.

MY HUSBAND BLAH, BLAH, BLAHS IT.

THE “I LOVE YOU FOREVER, LIKE YOU FOR ALWAYS” PART.

On every.single.page.

gasp.

can’t breathe.

why doesn’t he just put a knife in my heart? it would hurt less than the blasphemy he just committed to my sweet little heartfelt book.

Later on, Husband says to me: “So where is the dad in that book?”

“Well, the mother obviously kicked him out to the back room because he made fun of the sweet song she sang her son.”

“Nah. I think the dad couldn’t take anymore of the mom’s annoying song that she sang twenty million times a day so he decided to go get a slurpee and go for a drive in peace. And the son was all ‘Take me with you, Dad! Please! Before mom starts singing that weird song to me again!’ And then the dad was all “If you think that’s weird, just wait until she’s old and drags a ladder to your window in the middle of the night and sings that creepy song while you are trying to sleep!’”

Sigh.

Well, goodbye rainbows and unicorns. I’ll miss you…NOW THAT THIS BOOK IS TOTALLY RUINED FOR ME.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Dreamin........

If I ever get to build my own dream house one day.....this is what my kitchen will look like.


Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Apparently next to music, blogging is my passion




Your Blogging Type is Artistic and Passionate



You see your blog as the ultimate personal expression - and work hard to make it great.

One moment you may be working on a new dramatic design for your blog...

And the next, you're passionately writing about your pet causes.

Your blog is very important - and you're careful about who you share it with.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

I swear I could write comedy schtick with what comes out of this kids mouth.

During a trip to Wal Mart...

My youngest son points at the very masculine-looking, female cashier, and loudly says, "Mommy, she's kind of a girl."

Awkward laugh, "Yes, she's a girl."

He looks back and WAITS TO MAKE EYE CONTACT, then says, "Yeah. Kind of."

Friday, January 1, 2010

Resolutions I probably won't keep.....but I'm gonna try really, really hard

We have entered the year 2010.

Freaky, huh?

Wasn't the world supposed to end 10 years ago?

2010 will be the "Year of the Momma". The year that I finally think of myself and do things to better my life and improve my mental state. Not that I have mental issues. *twitch*

In the year 2010, I will work my fat ass off to look like this






Which means I will also need alot of surgery, so I will be playing the lottery every week.

In the Year 2010, I will do more of this




And because I will be smiling more, I will invest in some teeth whitening services.

In the Year 2010, I will appreciate my children more. I say this every morning when I wake up but this time it is different. Really.

I will smile and appreciate my children even when they are fighting and calling eachother "friggin jerks".

In 2010 I will do more of this



And I will smile while reading a juicy novel on the beach with my perfect bod.

In the Year 2010, I will learn how to take better pictures and uncovering the secret to convincing all three children to smile when they see the camera.

At the same time.

I would also like to learn how to better edit my pictures.

And win a trip somewhere pretty so I can spend a week taking pictures of pretty things. Just because.

In the Year 2010, I will eat less of this






And drink less of this


Ok, lets be honest here. Basically the Year 2010 will be the year that I starve myself while hiding out in my bedroom reading romance novels.

But I will be smiling with nice white teeth.

HAPPY FRIGGIN NEW YEAR!!

Tis The Season For My Favorite Christmas Albums

Martina McBride – White Christmas Let it Snow | Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas | Silver Bells | Hark! The Herald Angels ...