You Can Do It

Have you ever felt frozen in your life? Like you just couldn't do anything? Maybe because of depression, or maybe you felt overwhelmed by how much had fallen on your plate, or you were afraid of what was next, or exhausted, or just unmotivated and over it. 

If you have, and you've told someone about it, you know there are three types of people. 

There's the person who responds in the, buck up sunshine, it could be worse, get it together kind of way (not helpful). 

There's the person who jumps in and starts wallowing with you. You're right, life is so hard and this sucks and I don't know if you can do it, either (it can be helpful to commiserate with someone, but if it stops there, also not helpful). 

And then there's the person who looks at you and says, you can do it. I believe in you (ding ding ding). 

We could all use a little more of that third person in our lives, so that's what I wanted to throw at you today. 

So hey. You can do it. 

That to-do list that you have to do, but keeps getting longer and longer...you can do it. 

The overwhelming amount of responsibilities that you shouldn't have to deal with alone, but certain circumstances have made it that way...you've got this. I know you do. 

The work project you were volunteered for and feel like you are in way over your head...you are going to work hard and be so successful. 

The degree you've been chipping away at forever and think might actually be the death of you...you're going to finish strong. 

The dream that you're so afraid of failing at that you can't bring yourself to start...get started, because you can do it. 

Whatever you're dealing with today...a kitchen full of dirty dishes or a broken relationship or a job hunt or a big dream or a scary deadline...you. can. do. it. It may take a lot of hard work, but good news: You can work hard! It may take longer than you hoped, but that's fine. It may be messier than you thought for, but that's okay. 

Whatever it is that you need to do today, you can do it. I believe in you. 

And then, once you've done it...the big, hovering, intimidating thing, you get to turn to someone else who is also frozen and say, Hey! You've got this. You can do it too. 

So go forward and just do it. Because you can. 

Poison or Fruit

I spend a lot of time thinking about words. Words for a blog post, words for a story, words for Instagram captions. I love words. I think they can change the world. 

We've probably all been told at some point or another to be careful with our words. That they can hurt people. Sticks and stones, and all that.  

I've always paid attention to how parents talk to their kids, but after I had kids, it's something I noticed even more. I find it heartbreaking how easily it seems to come to some people to say belittling and hurtful things to their child. 

In the age of Trump, we've all got those friends who feel the need to share their seemingly ignorant and unresearched opinions on the daily...the ones who will call you a range of colorful names when you disagree with them. 

It's likely that you daily see examples of people (including yourself, probably!) who should have been more careful with their words. And by that, I mean they probably just never should have said them. 

There's a verse that says "Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit-you choose." I love that. I love viewing our words as something so powerful...they can nourish or they can kill. I think that sometimes, we remember that we should be careful with what we say, but we forget how much power our words are capable of. 

I think this is something I'll probably always struggle with. For most of my life I have been very nonconfrontational and avoided disrupting peace at all costs. Then some things happened where I really wish I would have spoken up and not been such a doormat, and that translated into me feeling like I had to say my opinion on everything, every time. Neither one of those sides is good. There's a middle ground in there somewhere. 

I strongly believe you should vaccinate your kids. But do I need to say that to every single parent I come in contact with? No. It makes my blood boil when I hear people so casually say they won't be voting, because I think that it's a precious right that came at a very high cost. But do I need to write a lengthy Facebook post about it every single day? Nope. Then there are some things that are just too big and too important to stay silent on. 

So yes, we should be careful with our words. But in remembering how powerful they are, we can't forget to use them. 

Your words are a powerful sword that you get to choose how to wield. In the simplest sense, you can use them to build someone up or tear them down. In a deeper sense, you can use them to argue pointlessly, or you can use them to change the world. You choose. 

The Happiness Project -- Week 4

And so we've arrived at the final week of pursuing daily happiness through little actions. I apologize for missing last week, but I have enjoyed this so much! One thing I've learned is that sometimes, when I'm looking to make a life change, I feel like I have to do a huge overhaul right this second. Which in some cases is needed, but in most cases is just overwhelming, frustrating, and leaves me feeling worse off than I did to begin with. 
Little changes are easy. They're not stressful. If you want to be happier, sure, you could pack up and move to your favorite city. You could quit your job and start your own business. Or, you could take ten minutes for yourself in the morning. You could go for more walks. You could buy yourself a new book.
Do I think you can make yourself happier? Absolutely. And I don't think it takes a dramatic change or giant gesture to happen. 
On to the final week!
Day Twenty-Two: Think of your "happy places" and see what they say about you. If you're really happy when you're at work, maybe you need more things in your life that give you a sense of accomplishment. If your happy place is the gym (really, though?) maybe you need more activities. If you're happiest on vacation, maybe you need to work on de-stressing your daily life. If your happy place is in the middle of a good book, maybe you need some more creative things in your life. See what I mean?
Day Twenty-Three: Buy new pajamas. This may seem silly, but think about how much time you spend unwinding for the night/actually sleeping/drinking coffee & actually starting your day. We're talking hours and hours! You should spend those non-hectic hours in something insanely comfortable.  Side note: This does not have to be expensive. My favorite pajamas in the world were 19.99 at Costco.
Day Twenty-Four: Go somewhere you love and just walk around with no list or agenda. The mall or Walmart or the library or the craft store or Home Depot...go through Tim Horton's drive-thru and then browse away while drinking your peppermint tea.
Day Twenty-Five: Ask yourself what the biggest thing in your life making you unhappy is. If you know the answer to this, chances are that you can't do anything to completely change it overnight. But you can take little steps to change it. Come up with three tiny steps you can take to make yourself happier in that area, and do those. 
Day Twenty-Six: Make a list of the good decisions you have made. We've all made bad decisions, but who cares about those. Let's talk about the good stuff!   Day Twenty-Seven: Print out some of your favorite pictures. Things and people and places that make you happy. Put them places you'll see! On your walls, in your car, at your desk. 

Day Twenty-Eight: Go out for ice cream. Or frozen yogurt, or coffee. Grab your husband or boyfriend or best friend or dog and go get a treat. Life is short- treat yo'self. 
Your turn! What are some small actions you've taken that have made you happier?