Sunday, February 3, 2008

Finding Your Passion

I learned something last night. When you love something, you crave it. You cant get enough of it. You get it, but it's never enough. You need it. More of it. Then, you get it, you're doing it and I can see your entire facial expression change. Your demeanor, everything.

I'm talking about Andrew doing taekwon do, people.

This kid LOVES the sport. Everything about it. Running until you cant breathe, and then pushing yourself to run more. Kicking and punching with everything you've got in you. He doesn't have the word 'quit' in him. Even when he's sore as heck, and his foot is all bandaged up, he still begged to go to practice, then to 'just stand in at the back of the dojang, then just join in on warmups, then patterns, then sparring with his team. He can't get enough.

I watch these boys play. The passion, the drive. These kids give their entire beings into the sport. I love it. I could watch it for hours up on hours. They don't care if people are watching them screw up, they just give it their all and who gives a crap what other people think.

So, this carefree passion they all have, where does it go?

You grow up, and suddenly no matter how it makes you feel, or how great you can be at something, that no longer matters. You suddenly care what this STRANGER thinks of you. How you look, how you do whatever it is that you're doing.....Why?

I take my kids for a walk. We take Giant steps. We walk backwards. We do stupid made up karate moves while stepping. I don't give a flying fig who is watching me, or what they may think of me. I'm not doing it for them. I'm doing it for me. For the kids. We enjoy ourselves. We race, we walk sooooo slow. We hide behind trees and scare each other. Of course, so the person driving by is glaring at me shaking his head. 'Why doesn't she grow up?' I'm sure he's thinking. But guess what? I am grown! And, I'd thumb my nose at you if I cared enough to take the time to do so. How grown up is that?

I don't understand, for the life of me, why people place such value on how other people perceive them. Why does it matter? What is going to change in your own personal world if the 2 people driving down the street approve of your behavior while you're playing in your yard with your kids? Is the world going to stop if they don't approve? Glory! What if they even talk about you as they drive away? Oh my Gosh!

You rule your world. Only you. You are the one responsible for your own happiness, and unfortunately, your own misery as well. People casually passing judgement on you will not make one bit of difference at the end of the day. I promise.

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