Sunday, August 23, 2009

The Man Cold

Everyone watch out -- the husband is sick with a man cold.

What does that mean exactly?

Well, for starters...please, whatever you do, do NOT expect him to do anything that doesn't involve lying in a bed. Also? Can you please shut the door behind you on the way out? Those kids are way too loud.

Truly, you should be grateful that he can walk to the kitchen to eat the chicken soup that you made him. And in reality, the only reason he is getting out of bed at all -- rather than have you bring it to him -- is so that he doesn't get "cracker crumbs" in the bed. Cracker crumbs in the bed is akin to sheets made out of poison ivy? They make him all "itchy".

You will continually be asked to check his forehead -- for he is sure that a fever is starting any minute. Have your thermometer on standby, because you touching his head and saying, "You don't feel warm to me" is not enough. He will need thermometer proof.

Most of all -- UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES -- should you ever ask him to "keep an eye on" any children. Are you crazy?!? He has a Man Cold for heaven's sake!!! How is he supposed to lie there and be sick and watch his Star Trek movie if there are kids running all over the place??

Now of course what happens when you -- the mom --get sick??

Exactly: Nothing!

Please stick to your normal routine and carry on life as usual.

I mean really.....you don't think that your husband, who deserves the gold medal for surviving the horrendous, crippling cold, should stay home and take care of the kids so you can lie in bed and be sick and feel sorry for yourself, do you?!?

Sheesh.....go cry to your Tylenol bottle, lady.

I mean, come on.....it's not like you have a Man Cold!

3 comments:

Allison Evans Brown said...

HAHAHA! That was hilarious to read and it's so true! It drives me nuts that I can't get the same amount of care and sleep when I'm not feeling well.

How are you doing? It's been a while!

Your Mama said...

Amen sista...(daughta)...ROFL!

Anonymous said...

Seriously Erve you need to find a job in journalism or something cuz you can write! Plus this post is HILARIOUS!!!! True but none the less a roll on the floor, pop through the nose funny!
I love reading your blog!!!
Luv ya,
ME;0)

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