Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Honor Among Mamas

There are certain unwritten rules every Mama knows exist. You want to survive on the momosphere? You better toe the line baby!

1. When you get invited out for coffee, wine, dinner.....whatever. PLEASE don’t spend the entire time talking about yourself, your husband, your business, your kids, your fabulous house. Sigh. Self centered Mama’s don’t get invited out a second time. They are boring…oh and self centered.

2. Don’t check out another Mama’s husband. That is against the code….and it is super gross.

3. If you see one of your Mama friends out and about and her toddler is having a temper tantrum that rivals an episode from The Supernanny -- just smile and let her know we have all been there. Don’t judge. She is already having a bad day.

4. See a Mama out there and she looks like hell? Clothes are wrinkled, bloodshot eyes, wearing the baseball cap of invisibility. Pretend you don’t see her. She has got something going on, and trust me when I say, she is not up for a friendly chat.

5. Try and remember that gossip spreads in the momosphere like wildfire spreads in California. Once it starts, it takes an act of God to put a stop to it. Remember what your Mama taught you, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

6. Oh and of course, the Universal rule among loving caring Mamas… no matter how many doughnuts she’s been eating, despite any extra trips to Taco Bell, even if her zipper is split and she can’t breath when she sits, never EVER admit that she looks fat in those pants!

2 comments:

Allison @ Allie Browns Layouts said...

Awesome. Sheerly awesome. Number three and four are my faves. Those I've figured out through lots of personal experience.

Mark and Emily said...

LOVE THIS!!!! Hahaha! And, um, well, #4 is how I almost always go out in public...do you mean to tell me I'm not fooling anyone by wearing a hat?! Dang it!! These statements are so true, and so funny! This is my favorite (except I say that about almost every one of your posts, but still!).