You know when you Google something and it autocorrects to exactly what you want? No, you don't. Because that never actually happens.
Like when I was trying to figure out if women have ever been cannibals, or if it's more like a guys only profession. So, I asked the Google, who was more than happy to help.
OK, first of all, Google, you are not going to guess what I'm asking based solely on the word "Are". Secondly, who is Googling, "Are you here"? What are you expecting as an answer?
Then I kept typing, and this happened:
Google: "Oh, my bad. You were obviously looking for something else. I'll just let you finish - WAIT - IS IT "are carrots good for dogs?""
What? No, Google. Of course it's not. Please stop trying to help me. Just......Stop. I don't need your help.
Google: "Oops, sorry. I totally messed up. I'll just shut up and - "are candy corns gluten free"?
Holy crap, stop Google. They aren't even called "candy corns". What is wrong with you?
No, just.....I didn't even mean to type that "H", and you're all, "You know who are cannibals? Hamsters and hillbillies." That is so out in left field. Where are you getting your information from, Google?
First off, albinos are NOT cannibals, and...why even say that?!? Frankly it's offensive. And your fifth suggestion is "we are all cannibals", because, um......I don't think we are. Same for the hamsters and the hillbillies, and the albinos. Just stop making assumptions.
Who is teaching you these things, Google?
Oh my gosh, Google! Who did this to you??
You know what, Google? I'll give you the first one. But then you move to "are cannibals always meerkats"? Is that what you're doing with your time? Is that really what you think we're asking you?
Someone hurt you, Google. Someone really hurt you.
Monday, January 12, 2015
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