Thursday, September 29, 2016

On turning 40

Yesterday I turned 40, and to be honest it doesn't seem real at all.  Forty has always seemed so far away, so grown old!  Yet here I am saying goodbye to my thirties, and while it feels big, I have decided to embrace it and welcome my midlife with open arms.

The big difference between 30 and 40 is the feeling of contentment and being settled.  I'm no longer planning when or if we should have another baby.  I'm no longer stressing over whether I should check out a new career path.  I am settled into my life, my marriage, parenting....and it feels good. it's not that I don't still have dreams about the future; I guess it's just that the urgency is different now.  I feel more comfortable in my own skin now than when I was 30.  Never mind the few grey hairs, or the smile lines that are forming around my eyes.  I know myself better, and I am more aware of and more able to focus on the things that are important to me.  I feel that so much of my 30s were the "planning" years, the adjusting to being a parent years, the becoming a better and more productive wife years -- the figuring out my identity years.

Sometimes I feel like the days are just slipping away unnoticed.  I try to grab hold of all those "little moments", but, at times, the chaos of every day life just pulls them away.  Time can be such a funny thing - it lulls you into feeling like it's moving so slowly, that it will always be there.  And then suddenly it's gone.  I have no idea what the future will hold, but the last 30 years have been so full of growth and SO many lessons learned.  I'm not going to let it get me down.  I'm going to use this as a starting point for the rest of my life. Bring on the 40s.

Here's a few things I have learned for sure:

-  Age is just a number...I still feel 25
-  Having growing children will keep you young (tired, but young)
-  Pursuing your passion every day is good for the soul
-  A good nights sleep and lots of water are better for you than botox
-  Life is too short (and to precious) for drama
-  Toxic people have no place in your life
-  Family is everything
-  It is okay to not fit in
-  Confidence comes from being yourself
-  I am WAY stronger than I ever knew
-  There is nothing wrong with boundaries
-  Comparing yourself to others is a waste of time
-  It is okay to ask for things you need
-  My parents were right about almost everything
-  I know what I want and I won't settle for anything less

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