OK, so I was originally going to just write this as a reply to Emily's question in my last blog post......but (shockingly) it got a little longwinded.
Emily, the only thing I can tell you, is as a mother you have to grow a pretty thick skin. Most women who openly interject their parenting views are doing so more out of the need for validation than anything else.
EVERYONE has doubts that they are doing right by their child(ren), but we all have this Supermom complex that makes us think we have to be superior in all things parenting.
If I had to tell you "how to deal", I would just caution you not to take anything to heart. for the next four months you are going to hear, read, and think a TON of different things regarding how to bring the twins into this world, and how how to raise, nurture and care for them once they are here.
Parenting is A LOT of trial and error, and even within your own household you aren't going to be able to parent all children the same, because they aren't the same child. And kids are really resiliant. They aren't going to shrivel up and blow away if you decide to give them a multi vitamin instead of the ones with extra iron, and a seperate one with omega 3 fish oil. Whether you breast feed them for three months, 6 months or not at all is really NOT that important when you look at the big picture. And trust me, the only moms who insist that you HAVE TO have a C-section when they aren't medically necessary are only doing it to serve their own selfish vanity. (I mean, why subject yourself bigger hips, when you can just have an incision scar on your belly that no one but your hubby will see anyway)
At the end of the day YOU are their mother and YOU are the one who is going to inherently know the best way to parent them. You all may hit some bumps along the way, but they will be be worth it.
And as far as those other moms........simply smile and thank them for their advice, but decide for yourself whether or not you're going to follow it.
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3 comments:
I am being reminded now of why you are my favorite cousin!! I am so thankful you are giving me this advice, but more importantly that you are there for me and being positive! So telling them to piss off in Relief Society wouldn't be a good idea, cause that's where I was headed!
For the most part I do get a lot of positive and helpful feedback from other moms. I guess I just have to learn to laugh and stay away from all the others. I will think to myself "thick skin Emily" next time it happens! I can' guarantee that I won't need more advice from you so please apologize to your readers that don't give a crap about a stressed out new mom! THANK YOU!!!
LOL.....well, no, I would have to say that Relief Society is probably not the place to say things like "piss off". But don't feel backed into a corner by them either.
You're not always going to be able to "stay away" from those other moms (because there's one in every group.....), but just remember to take the high road. Sometimes they just want to get a rise out of you, and many of them are probably just jealous because they weren't near as adorable as you are at 5 months pregnant.
So yeah.......when you get unsolicited "advice", just be the bigger person, and thank them for their concern. You can bitch about them later once you've walked away. HA HA HA!!!
And as far as the favorite cousin bit....well that just made me cry. I love you to bits and I'm sure you are going to be a PHENOMENAL momma!!
love ya erin always have always will! liz
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