The person writing the tip suggested writing sweet notes for your kids on
their bananas. I promptly went and traced notes on all of our bananas and then
immediately forgot about it, until the next day when I heard Ross screaming
about how the bananas were talking to him.
I acted like he was insane and like I couldn’t see any notes on
the bananas, and asked if maybe he needed to go lay down and rest, but then he
was all “I recognize your handwriting, dumb-ass. Why are you writing
threatening letters on the bananas?” and I was like “Because we were out of
post-its?”
But then I finally admitted that I was just practicing, because I
thought it would be funny to write paranoid demands on bananas at the grocery
store, so that when people get them home they’ll be all “What the Hell? Are
these bananas talking to me? WHAT DOES IT MEAN?”
Then Ross just shook his head and walked out of the room. Probably because he
couldn’t stand how awesome I am.
I suppose you could also write sweet,
complimentary things on anonymous bananas, like “You’re so beautiful” and junk,
but honestly I think having a banana hitting on me would be way
creepier than one telling me to “Act natural. You’ll be contacted soon.” It’s
probably just me.
Also, I can only think of about 6 things to write on
stranger’s bananas so if you have any suggestions, please leave them.
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