Observations to share with my children

Dear Boys:

There are two things I love more than anything in this world: Making bullet lists, and YOU.

This is the marriage of them both.

This is really only the tip of the iceberg of all the things I want to teach you as you grow. There are so many running through my head every day, I’d have to write a book. I don’t expect you to follow all these to the letter — what fun would life be if you did everything your mom told you? Hell, even I don’t practice ALL of these. Some of them aren’t even lessons, they’re just funny observations. But they are ALL true, at least as far as I’m concerned.

I’m sure the list will grow and change as you do, but this is a good beginning. I hope it serves you well one day.

I love you more than the stars and the moon and the sky and the sun and the earth and everything on it.

Mom


*The single greatest thing you can ever be in your life is COMPASSIONATE.

*The best gift you can give yourself is a SENSE OF HUMOR.

*Having what everyone else has will not automatically make you happy.

*Finding what WILL make you happy is one of the greatest challenges in life.

*Always be nice to your waiter. And tip well.

*Be smart. But more importantly, DO NOT BE STUPID.

*Listen to all kinds of music - not just the stuff that’s popular now. The old stuff is really the best, anyway.

*Never be afraid to dance or sing in front of other people.

*Eat lots of vegetables, every day - but don’t be surprised when asparagus makes your pee smell funny.

*Be polite. Open doors. Pull out chairs. Make words like “ma’am” and “sir” and “please” and “thank you” part of your everyday vernacular.

*When you hear a word like “vernacular,” look it up, learn what it means, and use it in a sentence.

*Not all friendships last forever.

*Every now and then you will connect with someone who is exactly what you need, at exactly that moment. Embrace it, and appreciate it, and don’t be sad when it ends.

*Try to get at least a little exercise every day.

*Keep a journal. It doesn’t have to be an everyday thing, but at least write down the important things so you can remember how you felt later.

*Learn to play the piano and the guitar while you’re still young.

*Master at least one foreign language.

*Travel every opportunity you get.

*Try to find the beauty in everything, and in every person you meet. There is a tremendous amount of beauty to be found in this wacky world — you just have to look for it.

*It’s okay to lie to save someone’s feelings, every now and then. But anything beyond that will NOT serve you well.

*Always show respect to your grandparents. And listen to their stories. You’ll be very glad later that you did.

*Take lots of pictures.

*Never say goodbye to someone you love without giving them a hug and a kiss and telling them so.

*Everybody makes mistakes. Almost everything you really learn from your life experience will come from the ones you make.

*Read, read, read, read, READ.

*LISTEN to other people when they talk. Don’t just watch their lips move.

*DO NOT pick up smoking. It’s bad for you AND it’s smelly. It’s also very difficult to give up when you finally come to your senses. No matter how cool you might think it makes you — trust Mom on this one. Please. And if you don't trust me......ask your dad.

*For some reason, the more clothes you put into the dryer, the faster they seem to dry.

*Being good at math and science can open many doors for you later in life. So pay attention, even when it’s hard.

*When a girl hits you or calls your house and hangs up, it means she likes you.

*Always be kind to the girls who like you - even if you don’t like them back in that way.

*Give to charities when you can. It will always make you feel better.

*If you see someone who needs help, help them. Even if you’re in a hurry or have other things to do, stop. Help them.

*Never, ever hurt someone’s feelings intentionally. Even if they hurt you first.

*Always be kind to animals.

*For every negative thought you have, try to find something equally positive to counterbalance it.

*Make it a habit to give compliments. If you like someone’s shirt, tell them so. If you think a girl looks pretty that day, let her know. Everybody likes a compliment.

*If you’re sad, it’s okay to cry. It really is.

*Think of every new day as a fresh start.

*DO NOT INTERRUPT. It is unbelievably rude. Even if you think that what you have to say is the most important thing ever said, let the other person finish their thought before you say it.

*A wise man once said, “Silence is the hardest argument to refute.” And that is absolutely true.

*Never make a promise you don’t plan to keep.

*Always take responsibility for your own actions - don’t pass the buck or make lame excuses. If you screw up, OWN IT. Apologize, learn from it, and move on.

*Don’t expect everyone else to do things your way. One of the great things about this world is its diversity. There are lots of different ways to do lots of different things. Understand and embrace that.

*Play at least one team sport. You will learn a lot about yourself and how to work with other people.

*Stand up for yourself if you are being treated unfairly. Don’t be a doormat.

*Stand up for others if THEY are being treated unfairly and can’t stand up for themselves.

*Don’t scratch your, um.....yourself in mixed company.

*Take care of your skin and your teeth.

*Don’t try to be something you’re not for someone else. ALWAYS BE YOU.

*Never say never. Life is WAY too full of surprises to ever think you’ve got it all figured out.

*Don’t ever put anything in writing that you don’t want coming back to you later.

*When you’re driving, always assume that the other people on the road are going to do something stupid and reckless. And be prepared to get out of their way if they do.

*Never never never never NEVER drink and drive, or get into a car with someone who’s been drinking. Never. This is non-negotiable.

*It’s good to work - but don’t let your work become your life. You owe yourself so much more than that.

*There will always be people out there who are more successful, more popular, more together, smarter or better-looking than you. It’s okay to admire them, but NEVER let yourself believe that they are any better than you.

*See as much live music and comedy as you can.

*Pay attention to politics, and vote in every election.

*Use sarcasm sparingly. It can be funny, sure - but it’s also easily overdone.

*Getting presents is fun - but it’s even more fun to give them.

*There’s no point in arguing with someone unless you know with absolute certainty that you are right. So pick your battles wisely.

*Do NOT buy something unless you have the money to pay for it. (Translation: Credit cards are a BAD idea.)

*Keep your receipts.

*Never answer an email when you’re angry. And ALWAYS double and triple-check the “to” field before you click “send.”

*You will never be able to please everyone. So do what’s important to you and be as nice as you can to those it displeases.

*The absolute WORST place to show off for your friends is in your car.

*Never let your “stuff” define you. Take care of it, yes - but never let it become more important to you than the people in your life.

*Load the dishwasher with everything facing IN. It will get the most clean that way.

*Share your toys, your time, and yourself with others.

*Learn about cars - at the very least, know how to change the oil and how to change a tire if you need to.

*All humans are equal - regardless of their skin color, religion, income level, political party, or nationality. Treat them as such.

*Be self-aware. Know your strengths, but also your weaknesses. And recognize when they change, for better or worse.

*Hitting is never acceptable. Never.

*Eat a good breakfast every morning. Start your day off right.

*Offer true sympathy to someone in pain. It may not seem like enough, but it almost always is.

*Do not let the fear of failure stop you from doing something you want to do.

*Nobody likes a whiner.

*Nothing you say matters at all, unless you back it up with your actions.

*Don’t be a slave to fashion trends - simple and clean is always best.

*Never, never, never, never, NEVER take yourself too seriously.

*Always look at the moon and the stars with wonder.

*Respect the planet that we live on. Recycle, don’t litter, and buy green when you can.

*Always try to be original. Copycats are boring.

*Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to offer someone - and also one of the most rewarding.

*It’s easiest to dust first - then vacuum or sweep.

*When you look at art, try to understand what the artist was SAYING. Don’t just see shapes and colors. There’s almost always more to it than that. The fun is in finding the message.

*DO. NOT. GOSSIP.

*Appreciate history. The ancient Greeks, the Egyptians who built the pyramids, the founding fathers, the old settlers - they were all just people, like you and me. Their stories can teach you so much about life - it would be a shame to ignore it.

*Always observe your birthday, even if it’s just in a small way. It’s the one day you have each year to celebrate being alive. Recognize that.

*Learn to spell.

*When people ask you how you’re doing, they don’t always want to know the truth.

*You can do anything you want in this life, as long as you’re willing to work hard for it. Because you will always have the full support of your family behind you.

*Nobody - and I mean NOBODY - in this world will ever love you or believe in you as much as your mom and dad do. Ever.