My "baby" is growing up. In the past week he's lost his first tooth, used enormous words that weren't in my vocabulary until Jr. High....and he knew what they meant. And now, he's officially going into a "number grade". Time really needs to slow down.
It's funny though....when you are in a situation with a number of other parents, the parents of your childs peers. Why is it that parents feel the need to constantly compare children? There are an awful lot of women playing what I like to call the comparison game. I refuse to play this game! When they were babies it was ridiculous things like:
"oh my little one has ALREADY cut her first tooth."
"My darling can already sleep through the night..you mean yours isn't."
"My sweetie takes baby ballet." Yeah OK. (The kid can't even walk yet so who is doing the dancing anyway!)
As they get older the comparison mommies keep the game alive, they just change the competitions.
No I will not sit down and compare my child's report card with you.
Yes I got your oh so subtle hint that your darling daughter got a 95 on that latest test...and no I do not feel the need to reveal my sons grade.
Yes, your son's project is amazing (but there is no way in hell he drilled all those pieces together himself who do you think your kidding).
Your child got a part in the school play..congratulations. (so did every child in the school)
So what is this need to have the superior child? To compete and win some invisible prize? Is it pride of ones offspring? Is this a new form of passive aggressive bragging? What does this teach the children who hear these conversations? Are the children of these very competitive mommies the ones who end up forming the ultra cool cliques in high school with the strictest rules of entry?
Maybe that's why I don't quite understand. I was never in those cliques. I never quite found my group. I had many friends but not a tight great big group of dress alike. think alike zombie friends that many seemed to thrive and survive with in high school. Maybe I missed out on something? Maybe I should be helping my child compete? Maybe I should get in the game.
Then again.......maybe not. There's no need for competition when you KNOW your child is perfect -- just the way he is.
2 comments:
Oh Erin, how did you know this is just what I needed to hear? This week I went to my first twin group play date (yes I know the twins can't play, no need to insert a joke here!) and I came home partially grateful for a lot of the things I was doing and partially wondering why my babies were so far behind. I started looking through my books and thinking "oh no, they aren't doing this or that yet..."
So this post has just snapped me out of it and I thank you for reminding me of that. And I have perfectly healthy and happy babies!!!
Em, I love you. So excited for you to get up here so I can finally see those adorable perfect babies. (Play date.....giggle....)
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