Wednesday, November 7, 2007

So have I always been an idiot.....or is this something new??

I've been working for the last 3 years for my husbands company, and I have to admit that the experience has opened me up to an entirely different side of myself that I wasn't aware existed before.

The number one thing I've realized? I am not an especially smart person.

I'm a friendly person.. I'm a wordy person... I'm someone who beats myself up over every mistake until I'm pretty sure I'll give myself an ulcer by sheer will alone type person...... but I will not be inventing an improved wheel or discovering the cure for the common cold anytime soon.

And it's not that I'm "stupid" per se... I just seem to lack any shred of common sense.

Ask me where the Carpenters got the idea for the song "We've Only Just Begun."..... ask me to quote every line from The Rocky Horror Picture Show and I can do a one-woman show playing each part and doing a mean Time Warp..... ask me to give my opinion on Stephen King's slow decline from horror to thinly veiled self introspection and I can go on for an hour.....

I am a veritible treasure trove of information on music, movies, general knowledge, strange history, etc....

But do not ask me to remember to check the credit decision on an account or where I left my shoes... because unless I need that decision for something, I'll probably forget to double check it.... and those shoes are gone. They disappeared from my bedroom floor and have been sucked into the same invisible vortex that keeps stealing all of my bras....

The bra thing drives me nuts.. I should have a million of them with how many I buy all the time.... but they keep going MIA somewhere between the hamper and the dryer. I'll go looking for a specific one and it will be nowhere.... like they just disappeared off the face of the planet. I'm half inclined to believe that gnomes are stealing the silk ones to use as emergency parachutes when they jump off the dresser after stealing my hairbrush...

..... because I can never seem to find that either.

Bloody thieving gnomes.

But anyway....working is fun. Making money rocks. I really like my job.

... but either I make some room in my brain by clearing out something useless like the lyrics to all the Shirly Temple songs I sang as a child that I've managed to store in my brain.... or I give up or get fired by my darling husband and get a job more along my mental speed..... like running the Pick-a-rubber-duck-from-the-kid-pool-and-get-a-prize-determined-by-the-color-beneath-it's-butt with some traveling carnival filled with felons living just under the law's radar.

Three questions:

Can I really function in life minus the lyrics of every song I've ever sang?

How can I sit in my office working away at the computer without song after song that I have loved all my life blaring in the background?

Are there even carnivals this time of year? If not I may need to take out some unemployment if I can't get my head on straight.

And remember that I may not have matching socks, but I can kick any of your asses at Trivial Pursuit...

... and Scene It. I rock at those Scene It games... all of them except the sports one.

My brain apparently doesn't do common sense OR Sports.

Sigh.. drats. Foiled again.


Maren said...

Thanks for making me laugh..."Bloody thieving gnomes." :) I'd like to think those Shirley Temple songs will come in handy some day, when you least expect my knowledge of celebrity couples! And as long as you don't lose your feet, shoes aren't all THAT necessary.
On a side note: I enjoy your writing. It's honest, descriptive yet concise, and chock full of voice. You definitely don't fall into the realm of "idiot", just the realm of "human". :)

Erin said...

Maren, you have just made my day. I love to know that people enjoy reading my ramblings. As far as my writing style......I pretty much write the way I talk. As for Shirly Temple.....she's a good one to whistle when you are bored and standing in line at Costco....of course, my boys think I'm nuts when I sing about things like the good ship lollipop or animal crackers in my soup.

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