Saturday, November 3, 2007

Mind Rotting Daytime Television

My poor husband tries to be supportive of all my interests. Unfortunately, that doesn't always work out so well for him.

Today I'm not feeling well. So I was curled up on the couch with a cup of herbal tea while I watched a guilty pleasure.. the soap opera, Days of our Lives, which I TiVo all week. As is my custom, I proceded to tell off the characters who annoyed me between coughing fits. "Shut up, Kate, you skank!" or "EJ is such a dog."

Ross was in the kitchen making lunch and listening to me. "What's the matter honey?"

"Nothing.. EJ is a jerk. I hope they kill him."

And being the kind gentleman he is, he opened a can of worms and asked "Who is EJ? Is he the Salem Stalker?". And that innocent question led to this exchange:

Me: "Well probably, but that storyline is a year old now. He's the one who raped Sami and may be the father of one of her twins."

Ross: "Sami? Is she the one you like? I thought she was married."

Me: "She is.. to Lucas. But he's freaking out because he may not be the baby-daddy, and is stressed out over Sami devorcing him and marrying EJ to end the De Mira vendetta."

Ross: "I thought her and Lucas had a kid."

Me: "They do.. Will......but that kid is like 14 or something."

Ross: " who is EJ the jerk? I'm confused."

Me: (sigh) "EJ is the son of Stephano Di Mera. His mom was Susan the psycho who was given plastic surgery to look like Stephano's daughter, Kristen. EJ was a race car driver and put a lot of money into a business with Kate, Lucas' mother, but he's always been in love with Sami."

Ross: "Wait. So is EJ just using Sami to hurt the Brady's and that's why he has had a fling with both Lucas' mom and his wife?"

Me: (getting annoyed at missing my show while explaining.) "NO! EJ really is in love with Sami. His tryst with Kate was more of just a business thing, or else he just wanted to follow in his fathers footsteps who also had a fling with Kate. But he really is in love with Sami and hopes he is the father of her twins. It's not that complicated! You just don't pay attention when I tell you things!"

At this point Ross gets annoyed, walks into the living room, glares at me and says:

"I do pay attention. I pay attention to everything you tell me, but you women and your little TV shows are nuts! Nevermind! I'm sorry I asked."

Then he stomps back into the kitchen.

5 minutes later I say "Stupid useless Kate" quietly to myself .... then I hear hear him breathe out heavily before he bellows:

"Okay.. who the heck is Kate again?"

Soaps are like second hand smoke... they don't just effect the "smoker".. they poison the brains of everyone within a 40 foot radius apparently.


Ally Brown said...

Hahaha! That's why I don't watch those shows. You have to seriously have watched them from day one. I had a bunch of friends in high school who were all into this soap opera, would chat about what was going to happen next in this detialed and super long saga, and I remember thinking, "Goodness! Now teenagers are getting sucked into such a mess!" At that time I thought soap operas were for lonely women who had no friends and no husband and needed some drama to hold onto.
But I do watch The Office and you have to have watched that for a while too to get it. So I guess I'm kinda a hypocrite. But The Office is murder/cheating on spouse free! Do you watch it?

Erin said...

Nope, I have never watched an episode.

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