Friday, June 13, 2008

I am the momma

Before I venture any further into this, I think I should pose the question to end all blogging questions. "Why am I doing this?" Further more, why are any of us doing this? Is it what the title suggests? Are we ego maniacs, desperate to hear ourselves speak (or rather, read what we've typed) and desperate for somebody, ANYBODY, to hear us? I'm sure we're all fairly busy people. I know that I am. My life is full to the brim, threatening to spill over at any moment. So why do we choose to sit at the computer, day after day, spilling our guts onto the screen and secretly jumping for joy every time we find out that somebody read our words?I don't know what your answer is. I only know my own.

"Mother" is what defines me best these days. And as mothers, most of us are desperate to share our stories, compare notes (and let's be honest, compare children sometimes, too!) and bounce ideas off of one another. Motherhood is so different for so many women and the way that we define ourselves as mothers varies just as greatly. I only know what kind of mother I am, what kind of mother I strive to be. I'm curious to find out what other "kinds" of mothers are out there, which is why I started reading blogs in the first place. Now I'm feeling the need to put my own two cents into the mix. And, yes, I'm secretly jumping up and down every time I get a comment which proves to me that somebody read it.

Lately, I've realized just how deep my sense of motherhood runs. It affects so much more than just the day to day humdrum of chasing after kids and wiping bums and tidying up the never ending avalanche of toys. There was a quote I read several years ago that has stuck with me. Unfortunately, I don't remember who said it...but here it is anyway. "Fatherhood is something you do. Motherhood is something you are". This is my truth. Becoming a mother has shaped me and challenged me in ways I never expected. My children are the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think about when I go to bed at night. I think of them no less than two thousand and sixty-two times throughout the day. Because I truly believe that at the end of the day, it all comes down to Mama. The buck stops here. And that is a tremendous amount of pressure! And yet, it's almost ingrained in us, isn't it? We don't give it a second thought's not what we do, it's who we are.

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