Thursday, September 10, 2009

I was gonna write a kick ass post about zombie dogs, but Demi Moore sucked it out of my brain

So last night I was in bed almost asleep when I suddenly had this great idea for a blog post; but I knew I'd forget it if I didn't write it down, so I left a note on my dresser and went back to sleep. But when I woke up this morning I found it and all it says is "DOG ZOMBIES" and I have no idea what the heck that means. I don't know if I was planning on writing a post about dogs that chase zombies or dogs that are zombies, or what..... I'm totally disappointed because a post about dog zombies sounds AWESOME. I feel like I've let the whole world down.

I blame Demi Moore, because I dreamed last night that Ashton was beating her and it was my job to save her from him, but she wouldn't listen to me because she was really in to astrology and I thinks horoscopes are a load. So I had to convince her that I believed in them too. I was all, "Demi, Murcury is in retrograde right now, and that's the best time for a Scorpio like you to seek help".

And she was all, "Well, if Murcury is in retrograde....."

And I was all, "It IS". Even though I have absolutely no idea what that means. But, I guess I was pretty convincing, because she let me help her back her bags and drive her to the shelter. Ashton tried to follow us, but I got all up in his face and screamed, "YOU LEAVE DEMI ALONE, DUDE. SHE'S A SCORPIO AND MURCURY IS IN RETROGRADE, YOU ASSHAT!", and he backed off like a scared kitten.

I have no clue what that dream meant.

All I know is that it was enough to knock the memory of whatever awesome dog zombie idea I had right out of my head; lost forever. Now the world will never know my brilliant thoughts on zombie dogs, and I blame Demi Moore. (Come on, Demi. Don't know that horoscopes are complete B.S.? Join us here in the real world, okay babe?)

Anyway, here I am just coming off a summer of pretty slim blog posts, and a bunch of people wondering and asking me why I don't blog so much anymore. And all I can say to them is, "Sorry. Apparently I had a kick ass post about dog zombies, but it was erased from my head by Demi Moore".

And they're all like, "...???..."

And I'm all, "Do I have to explain EVERYTHING to you people?"

Now, this is important, so pay attention. Some crazy force took over my body and made me look up Demi Moore's birthday and it turns out SHE TOTALLY IS A SCORPIO. JUST LIKE IN MY DREAM. I am now a believer.


Anonymous said...

THAT is one whacked out blog...I am still laughing and I've now read it 3 times...maybe tonight you will be thinking of Demi and dream about dog zombies....I hope so!

Mark and Emily said...

Hahaha!!!!! That is crazy! And by the way if you were dreaming about Ashton and Demi it would have been so much better if you were saving Ashton instead......or maybe you would never admit to having that take place in your dreams. It's ok to tell me the truth, he may be a little tall and wierd looking but I won't judge you for it!

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