Shopping Gripe # 4,563

Dear Kiosk Workers of the World,

Let me be clear about one thing-When I'm shopping at the mall, I promise you that I am not in the market for:

1.) Lotions made from decomposed sea matter.
2.) A new hair straightener.
3.) A T-Mobile phone plan.
4.) Empire carpeting.
5.) My teeth whitened.
6.) A remote contolled helicopter.
OR
7.) A microwaved heating pad for my neck.

I also don't want:
1.) To talk to you.
2.) Your free samples.
3.) You to touch me.

When I walk by you I do:
1.) Pretend to talk on my cell phone.
2.) Ignore you.
3.) Get as far away from you as physical distance permits me to.
4.) Get a little creeped out.
5.) Feel a little guilty because I know you are just doing your job.
6.) Not care enough about feeling guilty to buy something from you out of pity.

That is all.Anyone else have this problem?

Idol Chatter (2nd group of 12)

Before I begin with this weeks contestant recap, I would just like to call out Seacrest's wardrobe people. Are you purposely trying to piss me off. The guy is hosting the biggest show on television and he comes out in jeans and a golf shirt. Are you kidding me? Really? And then to put Simon in a white shirt instead of his trademark black. Something just isn't right. Of course, the one constant with the judges.....Paula looked absolutely plastered. Or high. Or both.

Anyway, on to the contestants, shall we:

1. Jasmine - "Love Song": I think that the song was too low for her and she tried to hide that with a lot of vocal acrobatics. She was flat throughout the whole song. This made me sad because I really have liked her from the beginning.

2. Matt G. - "Viva la Vida": He had a bit too much vibrato going on in his voice which didn't translate well into all the runs he was doing. He was nervous and it showed.

3. Jeanine - "This Love": Ouch!! She was really pitchy. The entire song was painful to listen to. I thought it was horrible.

4. Nick Mitchell / Norman Gentle - "You're gonna love me": I thought it was very nasally and rediculous. I am so ready to get rid of this moron. I didn't find it even remotely entertaining.

5. Allison - "Alone": I love this song, and I thought that so far she was the best of the night. She had a pitchy moment or two in the chorus, but I thought she rocked it. Amazingly I agreed with Paula. For being only 16, this girl is really good.

6. Kris - "Man in the Mirror": I liked this performance. He had a nice, clear sound. I was a little worried when I heard he was going to be doing a Michael Jackson number, but I thought he pulled it off well. It wasn't fantastic, but it was really good.

7. Meagan - "Put Your Records On": Her dancing like a four year old and ugly tattoo sleeve notwithstanding, I thought it was a pretty decent performance. I agree with Simon it started a lot better than it ended, but it was still pretty good.

8. Matt B - "When she says she loves me": I really like this, and thought he sounded great. He didn't over sing or play with his vocals. He actually sang it a bit slower than the original, which I liked. I think the judges were completely wrong on this one. Not every amazing song has to be a power number.

9. Jesse - "Bette Davis Eyes": I really liked this, suprisingly, because I didn't originally think she deserved to be in the Top 36. And seriously, what's this world coming to when I'm agreeing with Paula during an episode more than Simon. Freaky.

10. Kai - "What Becomes of the Brokenhearted": He was onkey and pretty good, but I found the overall performance pretty boring.

11. Mishavonna - "Drops of Jupiter": I didn't care for the 'breathiness' in her high notes. It makes me think that she can't hit them naturally. In fact, the entire song sounded unnatural to me. I didn't like her "wardrobe malfunction" either. She is always in those stupid leggings underneath dresses. Ugh.

12. Adam - "Satisfaction": This number was fan freakin tastic. I thought he was great. This guy is a total rock star. H reminded me a lot of David Cook from last season. He had amazing range in the chorus and his ending note was insane. Best of the night bar none.

My prediction for the top three is:

Adam, Allison and ...... um,.......well I'm gonna say its probably going to be Jesse in the third spot.

Let me know your thoughts.

Idol Chatter (Better Late Than Never)

OK, so today I headed out to Mayberry....er, Raymond for my nephews hockey game, and then to moms so the boys could hang at grandmas and play. She happened to still have this past weeks American Idol on her DVR......so without further ado here is my thoughts on this past weeks performance from the first 12. I watched the shows back to back, and I didn't know beforehand which three had made it through. These were my reactions in real time as I watched with my predictions as to who I thought should make it. I will also post my thoughts on who actually did make it through. Make sense? I hope so LOL!!

OK, before I actually get to the 12 contestants and their performances, I have two little things to get off my chest. Starting with Ryan Seacrest and his Tuesay night wardrobe. Seriously, Seacrest is young, hip, apparently good with the ladies. So why is he taking dressing tips from Mr. Rogers? What's with the sweater/shirt combo? And Paula Abdul. It is getting truly sad when you are so "cracked out" that you have to have your make up put on with a trowel to try and hide your bags and sags. She looked horrible......OK, on to the singers.


Jackie sang "Little Less Conversation"; I love Jackie. I think she is a great singer, but I think she did a horrible rendition of this great Elvis song.....and what the Hell was she wearing? Seriously, was there a power outage in the wardrobe room that night?

Ricky.....I wasn't familiar with the song he sang, but I love the tone of his voice. It was fantastic, and I completely disagreed with Simon that he lacks "star quality". I thought he did a great job playing up to the camera.

Alexis sang "Never Loved a Man" -- I really liked the "soul" in her voice. She really impressed me tonight...a lot more than I remember her doing during her original auditions or in Hollywood week. She was fantastic.

Brent.....I love his dimples. (Just had to get that out there). He sang "Hick Town". I don't think it really did him any justice. I think if he wanted to do a country song, there were a lot better choices for him.

Steevie sang "You belong with me". I knew right from the first bar that she was in trouble. The song was way to low for her voice and she was flat through the chorus.

Anoop.....I love Anoop. I've never denied that. But, again.....wrong song choice. Although he sang it beautifully. I mean, lets face it, the kids voice could melt butter. But it wasn't a smart song choice to try and get him remembered by America.

Casey sang "Every Little Thing....." I thought it was a forgettable yawnfest. She doesn't have enough grit in her or her voice to pull that song off.

Michael sang "I Don't Wanna Be" and again it was the wrong song choice. He didn't have the power or breath control for that song. But I love him.

Ann Marie sang "Natural Woman". And because of that I would like to extend this public service announcement to future American Idol contestants. Please take this song out of circulation for this show. No Idol has or ever will sing this song as well as Kelly Clarkson did in the first season. I mean, it is 7 years later and I still compare every contestant singing this to the way Kelly did it. You can't win. Ann Marie made a really "vanilla" attempt at this song and I was bored.

Steven was boring as all get out. I can't even remember what song he was singing....and he's still on the stage. But I will admit that my feelings may be a bit tainted because I don't believe he deserves to be here anyway.

Tatiana sang "Saving all my Love" -- She was sharp through the entire song and I am REALLY getting tired of her theatrics. They are really starting to annoy me. And I was ready to fly out to Hollywood and kiss Simon full on the mouth when he called her out for being "desperate to be famous". Sometimes I love that caustic, British bastard.

And finally, Danny. He sang "Hero" by Mariah Carey. I have to give him props right off the bat for being a man and singing a Mariah song. I loved his voice, I loved the rendition, and I just really, really like him.

So all that being said before I move on to the results show, my prediction for the top three are: Alexis and Danny for sure.....and either Ricky or Brent for the third spot.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

OK.....and here we are with my results show feedback.

Starting off......thank you to whomever pointed out to Seacrest that he had a wardrobe malfunction the night before and he is back to his hip, young Hollywood hunky self.

OK, so it turns out I was 2 for three with the results show. I was thrilled to see Alexis get put through. And although I really do like Michael, I was suprised to see him get a shot.

My poor Anoop. I was quite sad that he didnt' make it, but I am still holding out hope that he gets one of the three wildcard spots.

Then it came down to Tatiana and Danny. I seriously had the remote control poised to be hurled at the television if she made it over him. In the end, I am sure that mom was glad I didn't have to trash her TV screen because Danny rounded out the top three. So it's goodbye to Drama Queen. YAY!!!

OK, I know I was late, but I still want to know your thoughts and reactions people. Fill me in. See you next week.

I am Speechless

Well, almost. It would be a true marvel indeed if I were actually rendered incapable of speech, or, as the case may be, type.

People...THIS is why I talk to my kids about sex. I've talked to my boys about that. That it can be a wonderful thing, but also a sad and confusing and embarassing thing.

As a young adult I had encounters that filled me with shame and regret. I coped by resolving firmly to put it behind me and not repeat the mistake.

But LOOK at this child. I mean GEEZ, he's just a baby. How in the WORLD is he supposed to cope with all the emotions that are tied up with sexuality?How in the WORLD is he supposed to cope with the responsibility that has just been placed, clad in pink and smelling sweetly of milk and powder, in his chubby arms? It's unthinkable, really.

And yet, There it is

What in the world will become of them? I shudder to think.

Is it ever safe to leave your kids in the car?

Here's the scenario: You've got two kids, both in car seats and one has to be carried. You need to run to the convenience store for a gallon of milk, or the cash machine, or the dry cleaner - each of these tasks taking, maybe, 3 minutes tops to get in, get what you need and get out. Each of these tasks have their own hassles when dealing with little ones - you need to tell your preschooler repeatedly that no, they can't have a candy bar; you have to juggle awkward dry cleaning on hangers with their large plastic coverings while trying to keep the plastic out of your baby's mouth and trying not to drop the baby or the dry cleaning.

You park in front and can clearly see the car from the window. Maybe the weather is crummy. Maybe it's not.Here's the question: Do you leave your kids inside the car with the doors locked while you run inside? Or do you unbuckle everyone and march them inside for what could amount to a 60 second errand? And what is your decision based on? Location, weather, age of the children, or other factors?

I'm genuinely interested in what you have to say on this. Discuss.

Idol Chatter (The Top 36)

I think an alternate title for this blog could also be "Really? Really Judges?"

Anyway, I apologize to all my loyal Idol blog readers that I have been 2 days late on getting this one up. I think part of me is still in shock over the results. So, I will not keep you waiting anymore. Here's my thoughts on Wednesday nights show:

-Anoop....it was a no brainer that this guy was going to make it. I heart him. I think he's my favorite.

- Von was a bit of a shocker. I thought he was a little to dramatic and theatrical.

- The Cody/Alex sing off...I think they both picked the wrong song but Alex had a better voice. The judges kept the right one in this case.

- Adam, suprisingly makes it. Word of advice for the future -- make better song choices

-Taylor should not have made it

- Jasmine was another no brainer. I think she's fantastic

- And can I just say Yay for Steevie. Glad she's through. I like her

At this point in the show I find it necessary to point out that I think some of the judges decisions on who to put through are confusing to me. A lot of the people being told yes, are people who I don't even remember seeing throughout the audition process. Who are these people?? Moving on.....

- Joanna is another one who chose the wrong song. She made it. I don't get it. People who forget the lyrics should not get put through.

- Kristen / Blonde chick who auditioned with her hubby Sing off......I thought Kristens rendition of "I will always love you" was horrible. I don't agree with which one the judges put through, but I totally agree with Simon that neither one of them was ever going to win.

- Alexis....can anyone tell me why she made it? I am really started to get frustrated with the judges decisions here. I don't get it!

- Scott, the blind guy.....I'm glad he made it. He really does have a great voice.

- Lil Rounds definately deserved her way through. That girl has pipes!

- Frankie/Jessie sing off. I love Frankie, but she totally chose the wrong song. I didn't like Jessies voice at all, and Simon didn't either, and told her her song choice was horrible. So why is it that Jessie made it through? I did not agree with judges decision in this one.

-Allison is another one that I don't remember, and yet she made it. Weird!

-Danny and Jamar are such an amazing display of friendship. I was thrilled that Danny made it but completely stunned that Jamar did not.

- I was also glad to hear that Ju'Not and Jorge made it through

- Steven Fowler......I think I threw a shoe at my TV over this one. How does a guy who forgets his lyrics TWICE and goes storming off stage make it, and a great singer like Jamar does not. That one really pissed me off. A LOT!!

- Nick "Norman Gentle" Mitchell.....um......uh.....I am....completely.....gobsmacked that this guy made it.

- Tatiana....again, sigh. This chick is like the annoying neighborhood kid that we all grew up with. No one liked her and no one wanted to play with her because she was just so full of drama and stupid antics. If she's not gone in the first couple of episodes I may have to stop watching the show. And you can tell Simon was outvoted on this one. He DID NOT want her through.

- Jackie is a really sweet girl and I was happy for her that she made it.

- Nathanial.....again I have to ask, Really? Really AI Judges? Are you sure? Really?

- Kai Kalama I was happy to see put through. I kinda like him.

-Rough neck / Oil Rigger sing off.....this one started out with me ready to cry. I loved both of these guys all the way through. How were the judges going to be able to pick one and send the other home. They are both so great. So..........when they both made it I was really happy. It almost made up for putting Norman Gentle through ---- but not quite.

So there you have it peeps. This is one of the most disappointing casts for me in Idol history, so it is going to be really interesting to see how the season plays out. What are ya'll thinking about it? Talk to me people.

Idol Chatter (Still more from Hollywood Week)

Alrighty folks.....here we go again with another rousing edition of Idol Chatter. Because we're still in Hollywood mode and not the meat of the show, I am basically jsut going to give you my bullet point thoughts about the show as they come to me while watching. So here we go:

-The dude who sang "Believe" by Cher, did a really bad rendition of a good song

-Matt the dueling pianist did a fantastic job of "Georgia on my Mind"

- Jamar sang "Hey there, Delilah" and I hated it

-Danny sang "I Hope You Dance". I loved it. I thought his vocals were much stronger than last week. He actually gave me goosebumps when he hit the chorus

- Anook is totally my dark horse pick to win the whole thing

-Scott (the blind guy) had a couple of flat moments, but an overall awesome performance

- Steevie sang "Bubbly" by Colbie Callait. I hate that song with a passion, and in turn didnt' care much for her audition

- Kristen sang "Because of You" and was way too shouty

- Mishavonna sang that Michael Buble song, and overall was pretty good

- Tatiana does WAY too many vocal acrobatics and she is turning into a really annoying diva wannabe

And can I just say now, anyone that forgets their lyrics at this point in the game should be immediately cut. Thank you

- Norman Gentle needs to be shot out of a cannon back to whatever coo coo land he came from. I am so over this moron

-Ju'Not did an AMAZING rendition of "Hey there, Delilah". I absolutely loved it

- Kaelyn Lloyd.....I don't even remember what song she sang, but all I want to say is this: Who the Hell chews gum during a huge life changing audition like this? What a dolt!

- Laneasha sang "Love Song".....meh, I didn't care for it

- Michael, the oil rigger, I like him.....but his audition sounded a bit "off" tonight

I was kinda stunned that the first group made it through. Especially the black guy in the blue sweater who forgot his lyrics TWICE and ended up quitting and walking off stage. How does someone like that make it through? And I really can't believe some in the last group made it either (cough, cough, Norman Gentle and Tatiana, cough, cough)

So there you have it in a nutshell folks. Comments?

Basic Anatomy

"Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of the man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved."

Idol Chatter (More from Hollywood Week)

Ah, group day. Is there ever a more honest display of hatred and emotion on AI than this rigerous and insane circus? I really don't want to get into the stupidity and drama that went on tonight, so I just have a few short notes to share about this evenings episode.

The group that called themselves "White Chocolate" were awesome. Loved their harmonies.....they sounded great!

The group that sang "Somebondy to Love" was phenomenal as well. I loved them all.

The divas.....I completely agreed with the judges, and actually called it that Jasmine would be the only one to make it through before the judges announced their decision. I was glad to see that skanky camera whore a.k.a. "Bikini Girl" go.

Also, the drama queen Tatiana......man, I wish she would have been kicked. I don't care for her at all. She gets under my skin for some reason.

And finally, the entire group known as "Compromise" was awful. I hated every minute of their air time. I was really happy to see that Nancy chick get booted off. I thought she was a total D-bag.

Like I said....short and sweet tonight. Can't wait to get to the real meat of the show.

Idol Chatter (Hollywood Week day 1 & 2)

Well, if last nights episode is any indication, this season is shaping up to be a very interesting on. I just jotted down a few notes about a few of the singers. I don't like to get to indepth with my comments until we are at the top 24. So just quick little notes about a few of the standouts.....good and bad.

Lil started off the show with "I will always love you". Albiet a ballsy choice, I thought she sounded flat.

Dennis, deservedly was booted. And what a poor sport. He was lucky to make it to Hollywood in the first place.

Anoop -- I gotta say people, I am a HUGE fan of this kid. He's great.

Jasmine sang "The trouble with love" and was hot, hot, hot!!

Rose -- I didn't like her original audition, and I really didn't like her tonight. I thought she murdered "Dock of the Bay" and should have been sent home.

Steven (black guy with the big afro) was great.

Jorge -- I loved him, he was awesome.

Von was a bit shouty. Simon nailed it by calling him annoying. I don't think he should have been allowed to stay either.

Nick "Norman Gentle" sucked again. He's a hack comedian, who can't sing. I completely disagree with Randy saying that this guy has any musical skills whatsoever. It's unreal that he made it through. The guy is a joke.

Frankie -- although we didn't get to see her sing, I was glad to hear she made it through.

Jackie I thought completely invoked the power of Joplin. She rocked!!

Jamar sang "California Dreamin'" and I thought he was pretty freakin good. The kid has some serious skills.

Danny, the man who lost his wife.....I thought "Kiss from a Rose" was a bad song choice for him. It sounded really forced and out of his comfort range. I think he's lucky to have made it through.

Bikini Girl.....I am so over her. She's boring. She has a mediocre voice, and will only get so far in life on her looks (which really aren't all that great)

Jeremy, the oil rigger guy, was pretty good.

Jesus was another one that chose the wrong song. I was sad to see him get cut.

David Osmond I absolutely loved.

Emily, the rocker chick, should have stuck with her original song choice. She shouldn't have made it through either.

So all in all......I was glad to see that mostly the great talent stayed for another day....but there were a few that really should have gone home.

I should be a millionaire

My girlfriend sent an email to list my favorite top 10...whatevers. Top 10 fave movies, top 10 household tips, top 10 ways to help the environment....anything! I must say the lists that are coming back to me are so fun to read, and some are very useful! I've been racking my brain for some creative ideas for my list and finally came up with.....

Erin's Top Ten Inventions to Make MY Life EASIER!!!

10. Automatic Toilet Cleaner. This would help tremendously if it would also use a robotic arm of some type to wipe the seat that is often sprinkled on by one of the many boys in my household, I won't mention any names!

9. Soundproof Car Window between the front and back seats. This would work like the windows in limousines. It opens when the kids are napping, closes when anyone starts fighting, whining, or crying. ;-)

8. The Money Tree. I promise to keep it alive, not let it grow out of control, or drop leaves in my neighbor's yard. I promise to pick it's glorious "fruit" daily! Preferably $20 varieties, similar to an ATM.

7. An UNDO Button. You know, like that "Easy" button Staples has. Well, I want the undo button for times when I take that first sip of herbal tea and it burns my tongue and I can't taste or enjoy food for the rest of the day. Or it would be most handy when I casually cruise through that stop sign near my house because any more time in the car with screaming children may drive me insane, and that bored cop cruising the neighborhood sees me and decides to meet his quota by pulling me over! Not that it's happened...but just in case it does.

6. The Washer/Dryer in ONE unit. Why have 2 when one can do the whole thing? Maybe we wouldn't lose so many socks this way.

5. A No Solicitors Invisible Fence similar to those gadgets to get your pets to stay IN your yard...well this one would not let these annoying people INTO your yard or close to the front door.

4. Going with the same idea as the Undo Button...how about an UnEat Button? For those times when you ate too much and regretted it later, or the next morning. Like the time you were dared to eat an entire large pizza and did it...and hated yourself the next day. Okay, hate is a strong word!

3. How about a Brain Cell Bank. You can store your brain cells before you lose them all. This would be helpful when Drew brings out his 6th grade math homework and asks for help. I really didn't remember it being that hard when I was IN sixth grade....now I just say, "um...i'm busy right now, I'm sure dad will help you!"

2. Blur, Sharpen, Hard Light, Soft Focus Tools for people. Right now you graphic designers, digiscrappers, and photoshoppers are all nodding your heads!! Use it on your skin, contour your midsections...kind of a self-esteem edit. Most of you are going, huh?!

1. Finally...never thought I'd finish this post... Smell-0-Vision, or Smell-o-Puter. For times when watching the Food Network and one of the many amazing chefs are describing how delish their dinner smells. Or when browsing Pioneer Woman's blog and drooling over her chocolate sheet cake!

Feel free to add yours in my comments section!