Friday, May 7, 2010

The REAL 10 Best Things about Parenting

So, a few days back I had posted the Top Ten Best Things About Parenthood, courtesy of a card my friend had given me when I was first pregnant 13 years ago. One of you lovely readers thought I should try my hand at crafting my own list. So, the challenge was on! I gave a great deal of thought to the matter (ahem, yeah, I can focus.....what are you looking at me like that for?) and here's what I came up with:

Mama's Top Ten Best Things About Parenthood. Possibly.

10. You can get away with wearing dirty clothes, including those covered in spit up, chocolate and jelly.

9. You can drive a minivan and still feel funky. Inside.

8. You get to be used as a tissue. (it's all about being there for your children, snot and all)

7. You can go to bed early (occasionally) and no one will think you're a wimp.

6. You get to be an expert in waste removal. Good times.

5. Having someone regularly point out your faults (and things you've said) at inappropriate times. In front of other people. At totally inappropriate times. Did I mention they do this at inappropriate times?

4. You get to experience all variety of communicable infections, courtesy of daycare and school.

3. You can look like a train wreck and always blame the kids, i.e. "I was up all night with so and so..." This also applies to your house and vehicle.

2. You can milk "baby" weight for a very long time. If they hit high school, you'd probably best stop using that excuse, though.

And, the number one best thing about parenthood according to me?

1. You can opt out of any event, anytime with an excuse related to the children, i.e. "You know, we'd love to come but little Mikey has a dreadful contagious cough right now and we just don't want to spread it around." (and what you really mean is "I'm so tired that I couldn't bear having to spend an evening being social.")

And, you know that my real number one is exactly the same as the other list - the three monkeys. They are the the light of my life, the cat's meow, and the fly in my soup. :)

Alright, now you add one to the list! Best thing about parenthood?

1 comment:

Your Mama said...

Grandchildren are the gift you get for not killing your own....(my favorite)