Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Life can be so cruel

That old saying is so true, so true…even in your dreams.

In last night’s dream, I was by myself driving down a winding country road. The weather was perfect so I rolled all the windows down to enjoy the warm breeze. The air smelled rich and clean. It must have been autumn because the trees were vibrant colors that took your breath away.

So there I was, casually driving along with my arm resting on the open window… soaking up the scenic view… loving the quietness and the wind on my face… feeling completely relaxed and peaceful…

When I felt a tap tap tap on my thigh.

Smiling ear to ear with such joy, I turned around to see this ugly small gargoyle perched on the console between the two front seats. He had warts all over his face, red glaring eyes and these huge fangs that were dripping blood.

He curled up his warty nose and snarled, “Turn left here or I’ll kill ya.”
My reaction went along the lines of WTHeck? followed by “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
I screamed myself awake.

Unfortunately, I am just as neurotic and unstable in my dreams as I am in real life. I am easily startled. Mind you, it’s not as if I was expecting to turn around and find Johnny Depp offering me a blueberry scone. But still, I can safely say I was expecting a human being at the very least! Even now, the scariest part of that dream was not the horrible gargoyle or his menancing words. It was how you can be ripped from a state of nirvana one second and throw into hell the next.

Once I calmed back down, I started to get pissed off. Talk about cruel! I had just spent the entire week working my butt off, stressing about work, dealing with a sick kid. Then, on the one night the phone doesn’t ring or the youngest doesn’t end up in my bed, I get shocked awake by a stupid dream! I felt like the butt end of some cosmic joke or something. The universe can be sucky sometimes.

Do you hear that universe? I said, YOU SUCK! That’s right, YOU REALLY SUCK SOMETIMES! And you owe me for that twisted sick prank. I will be accepting apologies all week in my dreams. I demand nothing short of eroti.....er, pleasant dreams. You can skip the scones, but feel free to throw in the likes of Johnny Depp.

Shirtless.

2 comments:

Michelle said...

I laughed out loud at the end of your post! Brillant ending! Sweet dreams!

Karen said...

That was hilarious!!! You are a great writer, girl. And I wouldn't mind a blueberry scone-er, yeah...in my dream tonight too.