Saturday, September 13, 2008

Yada Yada Yada

The other day my friend was recanting a crazy thing that happened to him. After he told the story, he said, “It was like a scene out of Seinfeld”. Isn’t that the truth? Whenever anyone has some kind of wacky mishap, off the wall interaction or a stupid conversation about nothing, it always reminds us of “Seinfeld”. I am sure everyone has at least one Seinfeldesque thing that has happened to them. I’m going to share with you one of mine.

This took place at Blockbuster Video, standing in line waiting to pay. Right after this happened, all I could think of was how this could have been a scene right out of Seinfeld.
(Names have been changed to protect the innocent)

Elaine: It’s your turn to pay. Here’s two bucks for my candy and soda.

Elaine pulls a few dollar bills from her wallet and hands Jerry the money. A dime falls out, she bends down and picks it up.

Jerry: I can’t believe you just did that.

Elaine: Did what?

Jerry: Bent over and picked up that dime up!

Elaine: What? What are you talking about?

Jerry: It’s a dime. Why would you bother picking up a stupid dime?

Elaine: Um, gee, maybe because I dropped it!

Jerry: Still. It’s not worth the energy you exerted, it’s just a dime. That doesn’t even get you a phone call anymore.

Elaine: Are you kidding me? You wouldn’t bend over and pick up a dime that you dropped? It’s not like I just saw it there. I DROPPED IT! It would be practically littering to leave it there anyway. Geesh!

Jerry: I would have left it there. It’s not worth it for me to go through the trouble. I don’t need a dime that badly.

Elaine: Don’t compare your being too lazy to SIMPLY BEND OVER with me being desperate or needy or something!

Jerry: It’s not laziness. I might have bent over to pick up a quarter, definitely a dollar. But, a dime? That’s the same as picking up a penny these days. Worse! At least a penny on heads might bring you luck.

Elaine gives me a look of disbelief.

Jerry: If you believe that sort of thing.

There are soft chuckles going on around them, as other people in the line are obviously eavesdropping.

Elaine: You’re nuts, you know that? So what if it’s just a dime? We’re standing here doing noth-ing, we have all the time in the world. Now, I can see letting it go if I was running for a train. I mean, I wouldn’t miss my train to stop and pick up a dime, even if I dropped it. Or, say, if it rolled ten feet away, then I wouldn’t go chasing after it into traffic. But. We. Are. Just. Standing. here.

Long pause, they both walk forward as the line moves up.

Jerry: You’re just cheap.


More chuckles. Another long pause.

Elaine: Besides, a dime is worth something. Even today. Maybe not a phone call, sure. But, you can buy a chocolate covered cherry at Wawa with a dime. I am always buying chocolate covered cheeries. I love them! They are surely worth bending over for, let me tell you. Not to mention how many times a dime can save you from breaking a whole dollar. You betcha a dime is worth it!

Elaine: (mumbling) Lazy ass.

By now, they are at the counter being rung up. Elaine is tossing her precious dime up in the air and catching it over and over again while she rambles on, getting more and more agited. All around them, customers are shaking their heads in disbelief with slight smirks on their faces.
Just then the cashier starts busting out laughing.

Cashier: You’re total is fourteen dollars. And ten cents.

Elaine snatches the dime out of the air and holds it tight to her chest. Jerry just looks at her.

Jerry: Give me that dime. Please!

Elaine: Oh, you most certainly can have it…

She drops the dime.

He bends over and picks it up.

1 comment:

A Bunch of Paynes said...

I stumbled onto your blog from Allie Brown's. I love the Seinfield story, and just had to let you know! And the post about the zucchini. Really!?! What does that girl eat!?

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