The Survivor Diet

I miss having perky boobs. I miss having a waistline.

Since I miss my perky boobs and my waistline so much I am thinking of going on the Survivor Diet. This involves travelling to an island with minimal supplies.

A deserted island with bathroom facilities is a must. Running water is also a must. And electricity. (I did not say I was going to rough it, I just said I was going on the diet.)

I will be on a tropical island with lots of fruit trees and edible berry bushes. There will be copious amounts of clean water to drink. There will be no chocolate. Or cookies. (*gasp* Take a deep breath) Yes, it will be difficult, but I feel that it is what I have to do to get my body back.

I cannot live anywhere close to sugar.....bad sugar. I cannot have access to stores or restaurants. I will swim in the ocean that is blocked off from all sea mammals. No big fish, snakes, sharks, crocs or eels can come within a mile of my swimming area please and thank you. Because if they do come near me I may just have a heart attack...or get eaten and the entire experience will be pointless.

I will jog on the beach. Ok, who am I kidding...... I will walk. Alot.

I will spend my days in the water and in the sand getting all pretty and healthy. I will read gossip magazines and maybe even a novel or two. I will listen to my music. Bluegrass music will not exist on this island.

I will not eat chocolate. Or cookies. Or anything that is remotely unhealthy. I will be the picture of optimal health.

I will drink water because it is the only beverage available. No soda. No Kool Aid. No juice.

Borrring.

I will lose weight. I will get in shape.

I will come home, look at chocolate and have no desire to eat it.

I will only eat salads and fish, and all the good stuff that people are supposed to eat.

And then I will get a boob job.

The End.

Yes, these thoughts actually do run through my mind. Now if only I can find someone who will let me stay on their well equipped island for free.