Curse of the Uni-boob

How’s the weight loss? I’m so glad you asked.

I’ve worked out every day (except Sunday—even God took a rest) for about 3 weeks now. I lost 6 pounds, then gained back 3…then slowly lost 2. So I’m down a whopping total of 5 pounds.(Ooh…that’s not impressive.)

But there are other benefits! I feel stronger, I have a bit more energy, and I do believe my boobs are shrinking.(10 kinds of awesome.)

I’ve posted about my big boobs before…. I’m a 38DD, people! That’s straight-up Play-Boy-Bunny-hey-look-at-my-jugs size. (In fact, I do believe that exact phrase is written in small print on my bra’s tag. And I think the women in some Chinese sweat shop held up my gi-normous bra and laughed while wearing it on their head as a hat.) But I digress….

I don’t wear a sports bra while I work out. I wear my normal bra, and my husband looks at me funny when he finds me sweating in blue stripped pajama pants and a hot black lace bra. Sports bras are made for tiny boobs. Mine are big and um…pliable? I put on a sports bra and they just mush together into one giant uni-boob. I need support and, um, and miracles! A tiny, stretchy slice of lycra CANNOT control DD’s.

Also? The whole “pull the bra over your head” thing is just disturbing. There’s always a few seconds where the bra is stuck in a roll below my shoulders, my arms are stuck in the air, and my boobs are painfully smooshed into my stomach. Hawt.

So…I need to find a good sports bra. I can picture it in my head—It’s white, TWO SEPARATE CUPS (gasp!), hooks up the back, and can absorb sweat. Am I looking for The Holy Grail, or does such a bra really exist?