That was then...This is now.

Motherhood has changed me.

We have all said at one time or another that we won't change when we have children. We won't become our parents. We won't let our children dictate who we are, or what we do. Then we have children, wake up from our little fantasy, and realize that we are for all intents and purposes, different people.

For some, this is a tough cross to bear. For others, it is a welcome change, a rite of passage into a secret society that they have longed to be a member of. No matter what you once said, no matter how you feel about the changes that have befallen you since becoming a parent, it is undeniable that for as much as it may have taken from you, it has given that much more back to you, tenfold.

I am not talking about the physical changes that we go through. I won't even venture to discuss the weight gain and loss, the pimples, the hormones, the stretch marks, the scars, the parts of your body that no longer look like parts of your body. I am talking about the undeniable shift in your nature, your personality, your very being.

When I decided to tackle this topic, I couldn't help but think of all of the ways that I myself had changed. There were definitely things that I could no longer do. There were places I could no longer go. And even feelings that I once had, were now as foreign to me as a movie spoken entirely in Arabic.

So I thought, what better way to account for it all than to share with all of you a list? I hope that you will read along, hopefully with empathy and maybe even a little laughter. I demand, er, I mean encourage, okay beg, everyone reading this to make your own similar list. Link back to this post if you'd like, or simply comment and let me know you've done it. I would love to read everyone's 'That was then... This is now' lists.

Things I Could Do Before I Had Kids That I Can't Do Now

Stay up until 5 a.m. with my college roomates and still get to a 9:00 class.

Live voluntarily in a house with no heat or electric for 3 months because it had a great view.

Stage a sit in and not worry who will watch the kids if I get arrested.

Walk into a room and remember what I went in there for

Pee without an audience. Or at least without an audience under age 7

Hit on a bartender or waiter for free drinks. Unless he's got milk or apple juice, I am not interested.

Use curse words without fear that "Shit mom, I dropped my damn toy" will be juniors next full sentence.

Lay down and rest when I don't feel good. Possibly from that whole staying up until 5a.m. thing.

and lastly

Sleep until an hour when the roosters are no longer crowing, or cock-a-doodle-dooing, or whatever sound it is that a rooster makes.

And now...

Things I Can Do Now That I Could Not Do Before I Became a Mom

Change a diaper in aisle 6 of the supermarket.

Simultaneously make dinner and nurse an infant. Nothing like making dinner and being dinner at one time.

Cleaning up vomit from the floor, my clothes, their clothes, and the walls without myself vomiting.

Putting on a puppet show, singing 'The Wheels on the Bus' sixteen times, and being the snow queen in a play all before 8:00 a.m.

Listening to the songs of Laurie Berkner, Raffi, Rozenshontz and The Peanut Butter & Jelly band repeatedly without pulling my hair out when I really want to be listening to The Beatles or Eva Cassidy.

Compare every ache and pain and injury everyone has to childbirth. "What do you mean you cut your hand on a table saw? 7 stitches in your face? Car accident? Broken leg? Please. I gave birth- vaginally- to a 9 lb. baby. Call me back when you've felt some real pain!

And most of all, experience hope, and joy, and even pain and fear and doubt, but most of all love, in a way that I never even imagined was possible.